Really struggling today!

Sending a big long hug. We all need them from time ti time. I have had tears falling out most of the (very frustrating) day. My husband is diplomatically pretending he hasn't noticed which isn't helping! Our sons will always have their mums in their hearts though, be assured. Maybe talking this out will help clear your dreams. Hope so! Take care x

Difficult whether to stay numb or to live through your emotions. May be allowing the suffering is ultimately better than staying numb without any emotion.

I am currently on the other side, i,e. Shock numb, not feeling anything just existing although I know my days could be counted. Even if I sometimes get to tears, still it's not deep. I am really not sure what is better.

Actually I just drink tea named "joie de vivre" , an ayurvedic herbal mixture (containing basil, orange skin and chili) but tastes well and cheers me up.

Get better soon and wish you nice new ideas.

Hi Leonie, I think you just have to allow yourself to run the gamut of all these emotions that pass through you, like riding a wave. I found that the worst of it dissipates over time. It all rushes back whenever something happens to interrupt any quiet time. This can be something as simple as a certain sort of envelope arriving that you know is from the hospital. Or when I look at the number on the phone display and recognise it as being a medical one.

All sorts of triggers can set me off emotionally and I always think that when it comes, it must be therapeutic to let it out of yourself. Your herbal tea sounds an aromatic and comforting blend. I've tried a few herbal concoctions that I've seen in the health shops here and they all look rather interesting on the packet. Then I get them home and make an infusion and they all taste like boiled twigs! 

I don't know if you are a creative person, but if you feel it might help to express yourself using paint or indeed any other arty-type materials, then please message me and I can send you some little projects to consider. You don't have to be able to paint anything by the way, they are to distract and focus yourself in doing something colourful and, I hope, fun.   Take care,  Rainie x

Thanks Rainie, unfortunately I am not at all creative in arts or such. I know that I could paint whatever I like but that's not a relief for me but stressful.

I just got a funny message from the website IT, probably I came on another button by accident.

Well, my head is so full of things that I could do, I am a bit lost to decide what next. In my head I get a lot of things done but the realization doesn't work. So I sit like frozen in my chair and let just the time go by.