Envying people without advanced cancer

I remember whilst I was still working Tess, looking around and thinking- all these people don't know how lucky they are.

It won't just be you and me who had these thoughts, I bet most of our friends on here experienced something similar.

You've got to give things some time for you to start feeling there is some benefit to being alive.

It will come good.

Xxxx

I am not sure how to answer this, when i was diagnosed  i never ever thought why me, i am the same as every one else  so why not, but when my husband got diagnosed i said this is not fair, not both of us, then i lost him, and this year my daughter got diagnosed i was devastated,as some may  know, ,I have never ever been envious of others, life goes on and i am trying to make the most of it as best i can, Tomorrow is not promised to any one and i make the most of each day one day at a time.

I am stage fou just be having  down day and tomorrow the sun will shine again.

Take Care Ellie xx have been since the start, hopefully you will

sorry pressed wrong button, perhaps your having a bad day but tomorrow will be better.

Ellie x

Hi we all get feelings and thoughts all the time and over thinking the simplest of things can be made into a huge problem getting anxious worrying all the time we all experience these feelings some days are better than others you have to find something that makes you cope easier said than done trust me i know don't beat yourself up you have come to a great group of people in here that will support you however you feel so don't feel that you are alone you are not now you have joined us on here xxxx

yes definitely have these feelings from time to time, especially listening to some peoples woes thinking I would swap with them in an instant.  I remember when I was first diagnosed thinking I would rather be a wheelchair or something than have a terminal illness hanging over my head - How self absorbed is that!  These feelings pass though and I am grateful for what the last five years has taught me - an insurance payout has meant my family’s future is secure and I appreciate my life so much more than I did. 

I think we all have bad days. Yesterday I was near to tears a lot  and cried over  tv show when the little boy was upset over his mum dying. The sun is shining today and I enjoyed taking the dogs for a walk. I appreciate the things I can do and try not to dwell on the things I can’t do any more.

i do sometimes think that people don’t appreciate how lucky they are not to have to worry about cancer. But I was the same when I didn’t have the illness. 

i do think a lot about how long I may have left .

sorry you feel alone after your marriage breakdown. I’m sure you have friends and family to support you xxx

I think we all go through a number of seismic shifts on this journey none of us want to be on. It takes each of us in different ways but it's all the same process really: this path to acceptance. Norberry is right in that you will eventually see the sun breaking through the clouds at some point. And you've had a lot of clouds to look at of late. But although you will inevitably face bad days, gradually the mind comes to a sort of peace and lets you enjoy and appreciate the good things, often simple, that surround you - but are difficult to see through a veil of tears.  Every day is a gift. Others take that gift for granted - as we all once did - but now we see it through different eyes.  Even if you can't say it all to those around you, you can say it on here Tess and each of us will get it.  Rainie x

Hi Tess, Please hang in there, it is early days yet and I'm sure one day soon you will realise you are better off without a husband who would make your life miserable. I have never thought 'why me' but I do remember saying 'why Ellie' after her husband was diagnosed and especially when after he died, her daughter had her diagnosis! That, I imagine would make anyone think ' what have I done to deserve this' but Ellie as she has said, went from day to day, which is the only way I think you should follow her lead. As is often said, there are always others in a worse position, however if you are having a bad day, things always feel worse than they are. Please try to make tomorrow better and don't allow it to develope into 2 or 3 bad days by telling yourself today WILL be better and try not to dwell on the negatives.

Yes, it is easier said than done but with practise, I'm sure you can do it! As Flippen (Popgate) has said, once you have joined this group, you are never alone, there will always be someone here for you! 

Thanks yes I'm sure you are right there.

Oh, what an awful series of events. So sorry to hear. I know that fairness doesn't come into it - I was brought up to believe that if you are good, you will be rewarded, but unfortunately this is not so, as they say bad things do happen to good people. Wishing you and your family strength x