Marriage problems

Hi Tess, I am so sorry to hear you are struggling. All I wanted to say was, you are wrong about people not wanting to go out with you because of your cancer dx. The world is full of lovely people, you just have to find one!

I wonder have you been to speak to a councillor? They may have suggestions about how to meet people, through a hobby etc.

I cannot understand why his now partner contacted you, telling tales of woe. He is her problem now, you just think of yourself and leave them to it!

Hello Tess,

I am sorry you are in such a sad situation. I hope it has helped to write it down.

my daughter also recently had a baby and I am glad also to have been here for that 

Please try and think of the positives 

love Ruth xxx

Tess I got with my partner around the time of my diagnoses, so it can happen. He jokes that we did our courting in the radiotherapy department. 

Do you have a Maggie’s centre near you? They have support groups, you may meet someone there, if not a romantic partner, you may meet a supportive friend who at least understands what you are going through x 

Hello Tess,

Firstly, congrats on becoming a granny and having the support of your children. I'm so sorry that the emotional debris of your split continues to affect you in this way, especially as you've been so strong in putting yourself first [for a change] and getting your life sorted out. It sounds that you have come so far.

This soon to be ex-husband of yours seems intent on loading guilt onto you and making your life miserable. It's his mess, not yours. Maybe he does think that the grass hasn't turned out to be greener with the new woman. Tough. He made his bed so let him lie on it. If the springs keep poking him in the back, too bad.

I can well understand that, looking ahead, your future may seem a bit lonely. When you've been married so long, the void that comes after divorce rams this home. However, I would urge you to give it time and concentrate on removing the marital fall-out that remains to be dealt with. Do a bit of research with regard to friendship groups. Some will not be suitable - you probably don't want to start trekking up hills for example - but there are many women like you who would like a pal to go on holiday with, or to the cinema or to share a meal with. Volunteering, of a gentle sort, may be an option. A widowed friend of mine is a foster carer for the Cats Protection League and has made friends with people there. Have a good think. I'm sure you can connect with others and forge some new, understanding friendships.

Wishing you all the best,

Rainie x

Hi tess, I missed your thread until today and I've read it all, I'm not given to profanity or violence but I could give you partner a piece of my mind and a black eye to go with it.

A very caring person like you will find someone else, so go for it girl don't hang around, put the past behind you the future is worth looking forward to, please accept my electronic hug's and kisses, all the best Ulls 

Just seen your post, so sorry this has happened to you. When I divorced my first husband, when ever he finished with a girlfriend the girl would ring me crying did I no where he was!!!. He lied to friends about me, some blind sad people actually dropped me, sados.. My advice to you is wrap uour arms around your gran child and enjoy the time you have with this lovely baby. You done need th sad ex. Take care xx

P.S. My second husband is my rock.

Hello again and I hope you are all doing OK. Wanted to share some positive news for a change.  I joined a dating website and recently met a really nice man.   Before i had discussed my health he told me he had spent a few months last year looking after a friend with cancer. So I told him about my situation and he is more than happy to spend time with me, is very kind and thinks a lot of me. So I am very touched and happy about it. There are indeed some decent kind men out there like some of you said! And I can be lovable, including my cancer not despite it. Whatever happens I am enjoying living in the present and maximising all joy that I can.  Best wishes to all x

Hi Tess so glad you've met a nice man who  you feel comfortable with. Sounds like your loving yourself at last and starting to enjoy life again. Take care and how is your little grandchild doing xx

Moi

Hello Tess,

I'm so glad that things have taken an up-turn for you. I wish you happiness and may you find some joy with your new friend. Keep surrounding yourself with positive people and good vibes.  Rainie x

Hi Tess there is a lot of nice guys, I'm pleased you found one, let the good times roll.

All the best Ulls