I'm not the story people want to hear (nothing bad has happened, just musings)

As you say,  good means different things to different people. Its like 50/50....what does that mean when doctors say it ?. My mother had two different cancers.... lymphoma  Chemo wasn't something mother thought was good and yet she survived 10 more years to 96. I on the other hand with bowel cancer have no cure options. I expect to die this Year. Chemotherapy only pushing the tide back for me. Mum would be heartbroken if she knew she lived 36 Years more than her son. Glasses can be half empty or half full. I guess Im inbetween. I dont hope and i dont do positive. Im kind of pragmatic because i know the odds are steep. My journey is private. Apart from  here, few people know.  I never offered hope to mum. She defied the odds regardless...

I always try to stress that everyones cancer is different so what works for me may not work for you and vice versa, however fear of the unknown, fear of hospitals, procedures operations etc is something we all share and talking to someone who has been there or experienced that can be a great help  

Hi Patricia,

I know exactly what you mean. I'm hesitant when reading and responding to posts in the head and neck forum. I mostly leave replying to newbies to the others who have positive stories to tell. I wouldn't want to scare them with my story as they're looking for hope. 

Somebody reached out to me when my second recurrence needed major surgery and it was a real help to speak to someone who knew the difficulties I faced coping with the aftermath of it all. I didn't feel so alone. You have offered support and the lady may well take up your offer when she's ready.

Best wishes to you

Fi 

I haven't been telling anyone that I have cancer, so nobody outside the family knows really. I only really talk to the people here, certainly nothing on social media. 

This evening though, I used it as a weapon against an overbearing individual who was getting in my face. 'I have lung cancer, can you please give me some space.' That backed him off.

I think my steroids and my life expectancy are affecting my tolerance.

Stuart x 

I understand.

I don’t like talking about my illness. When I go out a meal I want to enjoy being out and not talk about myself.

Hi PatriciaV,

You raise an interesting topic. I wonder if the further into the "experience" of cancer we are, the less hasty we are to talk to others about it, for the reasons you outline. Is good to be able to offer some insight into treatments and what going to chemo etc is like to newbies, but other than that I dont talk about it much. I think the initial shock and newness of diagnosis is what makes people talk about illness most, and that sort of wears off ( which is good news in itself). Am sure your reaching out will be appreciated, and if she wants to take you up on it she will.

Good on you Galilee for using the cancer card in a suitable situation - tolerance can only be stretched so far in some people's cases.

x

Very true, Tony73. I acknowledge the bad part of the situation, do what needs to be done about it (like getting affairs in order), then put it away and go back to hoping for something better, knowing all the while it's unlikely.

Amazing no one (or few people) knows what you're going through!

PatriciaV

That is a good point, Remoh, she has a totally different cancer than me. Multiple medical people have called osteosarcoma "a beast" because it just keeps coming back. Not necessarily the same for all cancers. Maybe I'll make that point when I can.

PatriciaV

Thanks little-fi, makes me feel better about it!

PatriciaV

Ruth, my wife and I went out for a very overdue fancy dinner for her birthday last weekend, and we pledged NOT to talk about cancer or dying or anything related to it for the whole time. It was a marvelous break!

PatriciaV