The uncertainty of it all

I tell you what Tony, if asked, I would have said exactly the same thing. But I bet, so would hundreds of others in the same position.

Yes Tony, we do understand. I felt totally adrift at first even though I accepted it all logically, had done piles of research and understood the nuts of bolts of it all, but it was like I was forensically doing all this on behalf of somebody else. I think it's just my way of putting stuff in little boxes, which I do all the time and find it works for me. I think it's a total waste of my available energy to worry about everything. I don't want to waste the time I have full of nightmares and gloom. It may be in some people's natures to worry about every little thing, but I find that futile. My husband stresses for weeks before a dental appointment. He wakes up thinking about it. I take it out of my little box the morning I'm going to the dentist and give it a little thought then, not before. Needless to say at the moment I've put my cancer in a box too. I appreciate not everybody can or will think like this, but it helps me deal with it. I wish you all the best in finding the formula to deal with it on your own terms. Feeling sad is totally normal and after a good blubb - that goes in the box too. RD

Yes, natural feelings we go through

I try and live for the day but it is hard. Strangely, i sometimes forget about the cancer until I try and eat and then im reminded.

Totally get what you are saying. Due to my two spine ops I have a constant ache that reminds me. Before that I had no symptoms at all that’s when it felt really surreal I was apparently dying but had never felt better. 

Hi Tony, I'm sure everyone here "gets it" we are in a position to know exactly how you feel and although everyone deals with things in their own way, we are still all in the same boat! I also think no matter what age you are, you still feel you have more living to do!

Take care. Im seeing each day as a bonus

Yes, i understand. I sometimes feel detached like im watching a film.!

Thanks. Ive reflected on what I have done in life. I think it has giving me some meaning. But as you say theres always  more living to do.  Strangely Ive only thought vaguely about the future plans util my illness. Now theres a sense of loss but in reality, theres never been any guarantee of Years.

You are right, there is never any guarantee of years. I have had three years and still wonder what it's all about, the sense of loss. I think we have all learned to live with it in our own ways. It takes a mighty amount of courage, and I am very happy to send some your way. This forum has been a beacon of light, I struggle to express how much everyone here has helped me. Much love x