Husband

Dear Tinalay, you are so generous in your sharing. Love and best wishes to you. 

Hi Tinalay, As ever you give of yourself in your replies. I remember that time well and all you went through. I hope Devon has the strength you had to get through this and come out the other side!

Devon77 my jaw quite literally dropped when I read this. I don't know your situation, but no one should have to be confronted with this. Have you any family or close friends? Has he left the house? Do you have a Macmillan nurse that you could talk to? Please let us know how you are, x

This is the very last thing anyone wants to have happen at a time when they need as much support and understanding as they can get. But you will come through this Devon77. One day at a time. Push all that negativity away from you. You are too special to be dragged down by this. Head up Devon 77. Look ahead. Everyone here is walking with you. XXX

Oh , I'm so sorry for you, what a horrible, thoughtless thing to do to you. Your friends are here for you all the way. As Annette says you haven't filled in your profile so we don't know which cancer you have or what stage you are in. Have you just found out or did you already know and he's not coping well and needs help coming to terms with it all. Have you a MacMillan nurse that you can speak to?

As Chelle says they're not all bad and I agree. Tinalay has shared something that probably most of us were unaware of, including me. I'm not surprised that she took him back, she's a very good natured lady and yet it must have been so hard for her to draw a line under what happend but the chance arrived and she grasped it. 

I hope that your experience is short lived and you can follow other examples here but only if you feel it's right for you. Please try to get professional help.

Take care and stay safe Devon77.

Tvman xx

Morning all. tvman I honestly didn’t know that I hadn’t shared the outcome of our family crisis with you, you are one of the people I PM, it was such a crazy time. Other people in our group were dealing with tougher circumstances and the threads were confusing. As someone said, there’s no moral high ground here, if you feel it’s right for you then it’s right but be very careful. My OH is not  a talker, I need to go by how he behaves and not what he says. He shows that he cares time & time again. Lass and Gragon were a huge support and are close enough for us to meet up. 
It was surprisingly easy to decide to stay together, the other woman wasn’t the problem & I didn’t want to waste another breath thinking about her.
Alcohol definitely fanned the flames, my OH stopped drinking altogether for weeks and that took the anger away. The only advice I can give is baby steps...There’s a lot of understanding here but the main thing is no judgement. It didn’t help me to say bad things about my OH (but it certainly did to say them about her) Hang in there xx

Hi Jim788 Sorry maybe he just couldn't  cope with diagnosis sending lots of hugs

I think you were very brave to have your husband back and did the right thing for you 

lots of love xxx

Devon 77

i think he could not cope and if that is the case you are better off without him xxx

Thanks ruthjp as you can imagine my friends were very outspoken in their opinions! My family said as long as I was happy they were happy but it must have been hard for them. I think it’s a very powerful message for our sons. I made it clear that my problems are not their problems & their dad is a good man having a bad time. xx