Daring to plan

Hey Remoh - I've recently been on a bit (lot) of a spending spree myself so here's how I've reconciled it all with my own terminal diagnosis...

If I want it, I'll bloody well have it and if it gets here after I've gone - wtf!!!

Some may say that's a little bit cavalier but I just invite them to fox-trot Oscar.....

The simplest way to look at this is;

If it needs booking in advance and you want to do it, then do so. If it doesn't need to booked, then just fetch up, if it's full or whatever then do something else... Simples! Haha - not sure that's of any significant help but at least I tried...

Moreover, I feel that we incurables should recognise our specific mandate to share MUCH more of this devil-may-care attitude...

Now - BOOK EVERYTHING!!!! Hahahaha!!!!

Stay Strong 

SiT

Hi Remoh and welcome to the Incourageables Group! Firstly congratulations for showing stability, it took me over 30 months to be stable!

After diagnosis I stopped buying anything for myself because I thought 'what's the point' but then I started to think like SiT (heaven help me!) and now, if I see something I want, I get it. I don't drop big hints to my OH that I would like it for my Birthday, Christmas, Anniversary or etc., not that it always worked anyway! I just order it. At the moment all the Theatres etc are closed so there isn't anything to book anyway, so find something else you fancy and go for it! No need for a guilt trip either, you deserve it! There's no such thing as jinxing anything either, you wait and see!

Morning Remoh I’m with  & anndanv it’s taken me a while, but what we’re doing is hard & we need to be our own best friends. What would you say to your best friend?

I’m a bit shocked at how easily I’ve spent a significant amount of money in the last week, certainly a lot more than in the last 3 years with an incurable diagnosis. I don’t have a shred of guilt, it’s the difference between making the most of any time I have or struggling....

And the others encouraged me  xx

Absolutely agree. Some time ago I was having difficulty getting motivated to do anything because I thought what’s the point I’m terminal but with the encouragement of lovely people on here, thank you SiT, Gracon and others, I have had work completed on my house, bought things I wanted but didn’t need and bought tickets for a concert six months in advance. That was before Covid so the concert has been postponed until May 2022. But I’m keeping them!!!! If I’m not there someone else will be.

Take care

Patmart

Morning Patmart I love the fact that you’re keeping those tickets for May 22 that’s  how it’s done!  xx

I get the first bit, when my consultant told me it’s back and it’s terminal my sobbing wife asked what does that mean and I said I guess I won’t need to write a Christmas wish list.  I’m slowly getting my head around buying things I want still with one eye on if it will be useful for the wife when I’m gone. Our local theatres have tickets on sale for later in the year and I’m tempted but don’t want to jinx my stability by thinking I can plan things six months ahead

I'm with you Remoh, I'm buying nothing for myself. Sometimes I think I need a new pair of jeans, but then I think 'waste of money'

I’m trying to get out of that mindset but it’s hard. I want to book theatre tickets. I want to plan things for a few months time etc. I think one of the problems for me is that we spent a year planning a 3 month tour of the USA. 50 hotels booked numerous trips events and tickets for things like Empire State. Grand ole pry. Etc etc then 8 weeks before departure the found the mass on my kidney and we had to cancel everything. I got over that and started planning holidays and on my first 6 monthly scan they found it was back and terminal. Had operation and was ready for 30 th anniversary holiday and COVID got that one. I just think why bother 

My Mum would go mad if she thought I was tempting providence and it used to make me anxious too.

It is superstitious nonsense and us lot do not have time for that, laugh at it.

Make sure your wife is going to be sorted for the future then do whatever you want. 

Once you have said bugger it and poked fate in the eye, you will feel a big change, for the better.

Look at what everyone has said, sensible people and bang on with their views. Good luck.

Hi Remoh, I am with , the fear of tempting fate is just our old superstitious hangovers - like not walking on the cracks in the pavement etc. None of that affects the outcome, unless there really is a specific devil whose task is simpy to frustrate us ! Go for it, buy tickets for what you want to see. i bought tickets last year before pandemic for music festival in August ( and I was already over 12 months into "incurable"). When it was cancelled, I just rolled over tickets to this year, and if it gets cancelled again, well they will roll over again. In the scheme of things, what does the money matter - this is about doing what feels good and right, and having things to look forward to whether in the short term or longer term.