I'm sure between us we could write a book on what not to say to someone with a terminal diagnosis.
"We're all going to die"
"I could be hit by a bus tomorrow"
are fairly high on my list, along with "what's going to happen to your dog?" and "have you lost all the hair down below?" (why do you ask???)
My sister was very upset by something my cousin said to me yesterday, "we're all terminal"
We're all mortal. There's a huge difference between being mortal and being told that advanced metastatic cancer is progressing and likely to be the cause of your death in a matter of months.
We're all going to die but hopefully most of us will not be having treatment that makes us very sick, invasive tests and the constant threat of complications hanging over us.
Depending on your source the chances of being hit by a bus are 1 in 3.2 million.
We all appreciate that it's hard and sometimes impossible to say the right thing, and that sometimes people blurt, but some of these throw away comments that trivialise what we're experiencing should be gently put to rest.
We're all in the same storm, we are not in the same boat. xx
welcome to the group, your post made me laugh, I hope I’ll remember the ‘automatic exemption’ comment for when it’s next needed.
ownedbystaffies you’re absolutely right, people are strange for all the reasons you said. If someone is jaw droppingly rude in future I’ll let my jaw drop & let them know how it sounded.
I think we’re all agreed that people aren’t intentionally hurtful but as a society we’re not great at talking about these life changing events.
I was introduced to a total stranger once as, ‘this is Tina, she had terminal cancer.’ The lady said ‘Life can be cruel’ and we moved on. 
Perfect.
xx
Thank you Annette and everyone else for such a lovely warm welcome. I’ve been a lurker here for a while but was in dire need of a humour injection (as if I need any more injections Doh) and the banter here does make me smile. Little did I know that the naughty corner was going to be overflowing by the end of the evening for I still don’t know what reason. I was so disappointed as I was looking forward to sitting on Norberrys knee for a natter. I hope the moderators will see that this group has different needs to some of the other sections of the community. It’s a scientific fact that that humour is a psychological coping mechanism when there really isn’t very much chance of escape by any other means. It’s exactly why the sayings about “laughing in the face of adversity” are so well know by everyone. Anyway, whatever, as a newby in this group, the only messages I found upsetting were the ones from Admin (especially the one mentioning “not wanting to censor” but doing it anyway) and the heartfelt messages from clearly distressed group members. Please do come back soon!
And yep, Annette, I’m hoping tickets will still be available for the Great Gig In The Sky when the time is right . My love to all xx
