Don't mention the bus!

You could have saved some upset by shopping at Waitrose instead of some German discount store. No one there would have dreamed of saying that.

I had no idea there were supermarkets other than Waitrose... Well Harrods, F&M obvs and maybe M&S at a push.

And it sounds as though you may well also be a customer so you've already disproved your own argument.

Sorry Tinalay,  didn't mean 'sort that out ' like the imperative, I meant 'sort me out', it obviously needs doing.

I can only say, very droll. I think I will clean the bathroom,  it holds more allure for at present.

Norberry wouldn't change a thing xx

Hi

People are strange; some are unconsciously tactless, some just blatantly tactless, some neurodiverse and so not understanding of the niceties and some are prone to euphemisms and walking on eggshells. And to be honest, I am sure I have said stupid things myself in moments of panic and not knowing the right thing to say in the past. But now I am a paragon of virtue - or not. I am known for my tendency to be upfront and maybe therefore, sometimes, a bit too blunt for others tastes. I prefer people to ask straight up questions than have those head on the side, tippy toe around the subjects of cancer and death. I have many times corrected people when they say "if I die" and I offer "when" as the right way to say it, but that's me being a pedant too. Laughter and not taking people too seriously is my way of coping, so I think I am with Norberry on that. But maybe if someone does say something outrageously rude, and they are in full charge of thier faculties, it would be good to let your jaw drop and then ask them if they know how that sounded.

Anyway, love your "we are all in the same storm, we are not in the same boat" - so apt both for cancer, covid, lockdown etc. Wish some politicians would heed it.

xx

Wow there are some really shocking things here.

I have had a few of the usual comments, but it has made me think today of when my mum passed away, and my Dad was told by someone “well at least she is in a better place”. My poor Dad, who is still heartbroken by mums passing some 7 years later, said “No the best place for her is here! Right next to me”. Still gets me every time. 

That is a really common one Chelle.  A good life, a good age, I hated everyone who said that about my Mum and Dad.

I am afraid that I am with ownedbystaffies in that I am often blunt and tactless and I am guilty of using my own rather warped humour in regard to cancer. I don't think we talk about death and mortality enough and it is not seen to be the natural process that it is. It looks from your comments as though there isn't a 'right' comment for everyone and even tip toeing around the subject still seems to upset people. The death of anyone is obviously upsetting for the family who will miss them desperately but I believe that there is an age at which it is fairly natural. I may well die in my fifties which seems like a tragedy to me but if I got to my eighties I wouldn't feel so cheated and would feel as though I had a fair go at life. My mother in law has just died aged 97 and as her quality of life was poor it was welcomed. She certainly wanted to die.

Sorry I am wandering off of the subject. The attempt to trivialise it upsets me but I understand why people do it. I am more forgiving of poor attempts at humour. Open discussions and questions about prognosis are the most welcome, I make them wish that they had never asked me  as I watch them squirm lol.

Yes you are right of course people should talk about death more. My mum died at 94 and talked about her own death all the time . That she was ready to go and what things she wanted to leave to different people she had her will all sorted. It was good she did that and I felt comfortable listening to her saying how she felt.

ii just find  it hard to think of leaving my children and upsetting my children and my husband. I would have liked to have met my grandchildren but feel I am lucky to have lived as long as I have. I also feel pleased to be feeling well enough now to enjoy things in life. Even if it is a good film on tv or a nice walk in the  fresh air.