Moment of Mental Clarity

Hello Nick Nosher. You should be posting this under numerous good things not just three!

I bet your post has got a few people saying " that's me", certainly it stuck a chord with me.

I go into the garden, do a bit then come indoors and say to my wife, I'm knackered, why can't I do any more.

She then with a sigh says, because you are not well, you can't expect to do what you could before.

You have brought a moment of clarity here, we are incurable but not quite ready to knock on the Pearly Gates yet ( I hope)

This rings so many bells with me, I’ve currently taken the day off work because the last hormone injection has wiped me out. I was disgruntled at work, long story, being written off due to cancer, anyway coming back from an appointment my wife said you’re not going straight back to work are you, the way only a wife can say take your time, take a break not as a two finger to work but because you need it.  She was so right, the way we approach things have a big impact, I’m going to walk more than yesterday, or the same as yesterday rather than why can’t I walk the ten miles I used to be able to.

Mindset is so important for our well being, it’s only when we can approach hurdles in a positive mindset can we enjoy the life we have,  we need to greave the life we thought we’d have but move on to enjoy today

much love

Hi Nicky Nosherm

I think a lot of people would say that they probably don't  like to admit things.

Strangely though I only said to my husband at lunchtimemthat maybe we should think of down sizing as since my first recurrence in Marchm I certainly do not have the strength I had 2 years ago. I love the garden but find that I can only do very little  now. My husband will be 79 in January and I will be 76 and before this always considered myself very fit. I do try to walk each day  weather permitting.

Maybe I am fortunate to be able to do some things,but must admit I do get frustrated sometimes when I would like to do things and realise I can't.

Georgette

Hi Nicky Nosher

Sounds like a eureka moment. A good one. I think most of us have probably been self flagellating at some point about not being able to do the same things we used to. Whether that is about having cancer, or just getting older in general. Be kind to yourself as well as others is a good mantra to live by. I worked in mental health field for over 20 years, and so many problems are caused by our own internal critical voice ( placed there early in life often by others critical voices), and it is good to learn to tell it to  "do one". I did use stronger language than that, but the site wont let me use it without advising me to seek support !

Well, it appears that I have got the OK from my peers to do very little from now on. I am going to be exceptionally good at that!

All these contributions have been so meaningful and useful. Thank you.

Hi, I have just read this lovely book, The boy, the mole, the fox and the Horse. It mentions the glass half full saying.

The mole says to the boy Is your glass half empty or half full? The boy replies I think I am grateful to have a glass.  Its a beautiful book that is a story full of lovely quotes.

Enjoy your glass Norberry and be kind to yourself.  Don't measure yourself by others achievements. Your achievements are something to be proud of and yours alone x

Sorry meant to say Nicky my bad

No worries, I will share that with Nicky  if that OK. Another great post.

Of course it is ok

Hi Nicky, I think most people with an incurable or even just a cancer diagnosis will relate to your post. I think that Moment of Clarity comes when we admit to ourself that life as we knew it has changed and will never be the same again. So we have to accept that the way things are at the moment are what we should consider as "our new normal"! For me the accepting I cant go back to the life I had was both upsetting and uplifting! Then and only then did I start to alter things to suit the way I am now. I took away more than half my garden which was a herbaceous border and a lot of work I'm no longer able to do. At the front, we mono blocked to give us extra parking spaces and at the back, slabbed a large area and put large pots and a raised bed, I could do while sitting! Regarding our house, we either had to move or make some changes! Neither of us wanted to move, so we built a toilet and walk in shower room onto the side, downstairs and the Occupational Therapist at our local Marie Curie Hospice arranged for a stairlift to be fitted. I never would have imagined me agreeing to all that but it was better than moving from a house we love in a village we love, where our adult children live nearby!

Once you accept the New Normal, your glass is always half full because you start to concentrated on the things you CAN do and on important things like family and friends! It is not easy but it is worth a try!