Has cancer taught us anything?

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Hi all,

The thread "who are we" led to me thinking about how I am different since a cancer diagnosis, and mentioned that cancer had changed her. So my question to anyone who wants to answer is - what have you learned?

For me, the first diagnosis in 2004 led me to decide I never wanted to work full time again if I could afford it, so I dropped to 4 days per week as soon as I could. Facing mortality does have a salutary effect on deciding what is important. Well, you'd think so wouldnt you? But I know I let some of my resolve about working less slip away over time. I still worked part time, but I know I gave too much of myself to work, which in a way was giving myself to other people, given my work was about supporting staff and people in emotional distress. The second time of diagnosis reminded me. I recognised that I had given too much of myself to the stresses of work life, and had sometimes not paid enough attention to family and to myself and what I needed. Bit bloody late, n'est pas? If I subscribed to the view the lifes sends us the lessons we need to learn, then The Universe had to shout at me to get me to listen ( and no I dont subscribe to that view, hippy dippy shit).

The good things learnt, finally - look after those close to you, look after yourself and dont care too much about the things we are taught to care about - "success", money, things. That life can still be good even having joined this group of incurables,  and we live in days ( see Larkin poem of that name).

  • Hi  I have just been re-reading these posts and there are a few I hadn't seen before, yours was one. I don't always get notifications and sometimes the site won't allow me to see a page forward or back! Anyway, I just wanted to say, if I could have clicked "like" twice, I would have done! 

    I know I felt cheated at diagnosis as I was 63 and felt I still had a lot of living to do. I admire , yourself and especially those younger with this incurable diagnosis.

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to anndanv

    Hi 

    I’ve just thought of another important lesson that cancer taught to me. Bowel management. It’s really important to keep on top of your bowels when you having cancer treatment.

    In fact the broader lesson is to be more proactive in managing my side-effects and symptoms rather than the other way round. I’ve learnt not to let nausea start, instead trying to prevent it. I’ve learnt not to let constipation get the better of me but to start early and getting things moving. I’ve learnt that pain from cancer won’t go away by itself. It’s better to get the jump on the pain and let the pain get the jump on me.

    This is an important lesson for me as it makes my life very much more comfortable.