Bad news

Sooo sorry to hear your news it is so much for you and your family to take in and cope with. 

You are such a good friend to so many of us and have helped us out in our times of needs many times. 

All I can say is that I am thinking and praying for you and the whole situation. One thing we all know is we never know what is round the corner and things can change unexpectedly. 

Hoping your pain will be controlled and you are able to make good memories with both your daughter's. 

Love and hugs

Hi ,

Just to echo what others say, and to wish you well at what is a really crap time for you and your daughters. You were kind enough to congratulate me on stable CT results the other day, and given you have been struggling with pain, that was extra kind. You are such a reasoned and calm presence on this forum. I had also noticed an unusual few days where you did not post much, so I did wonder ..

Glad you feel a bit better today, and lets hope that you can get extra pain relief however that comes.

I know the forum probably gives you distraction, purpose and comfort, but make sure you are putting yourself first now.

Love

Hi !

I'm only on here for a while, but you are the one i would remember first! I'm sad to hear your news and yes you're right it's hard to find the right words. I'm glad on the other side you got your family with you and hopefully the painkillers will work.

Sending you a hug...Pet

Hello xx

Been thinking I wonder what Daloni would say because you’re always so good at getting the right words but sadly those words aren’t coming to me.  But I do know that I hope and pray your pain is under control very soon and a suitable trial is available to you.  My thoughts, prayers and virtual hugs are winging themselves to you

Hi Daloni

I've just this minute read your post, I've been having a few problems myself, I've been having proper dizzy spells. I stood up and I kept going left, left and more left. Almost crashed through the tv. My wife has blamed it on me working too much on my plot, but the beds aren't going to build themselves! .

I was thinking that for you, you had been quietish lately. I was right the last time and I'm right this time. I'm so sorry for you to get that news, just horrible Daloni. You are the glue that holds the group together, you know what to say and when to say it. You remember everything about everyone, you're so super with things like that. 

I'm sure it's hard to take in for you snd your daughter, what about the other one, have you talked to her? I find it hard to take in, you moving to the palliative phase, I am sure the rest of the group think so too. I haven't read any other posts from others so if I'm repeating what others are saying, I apologise. As you have said to countless others, we're here for you, we shall help you every step of the way.  

I hope you can get some sort of sleep tonight Daloni, you're sure going to be in my thoughts when I'm resting my head. 

We'll speak soon Daloni, good night

Tvman xxx

Hi  Well, 3 letters sent to you, so it's not just on this forum you are thought so highly of! I'm sure the Queen didn't even get 3! Lol!

I'm certain you have done the right thing not attempting to move at the moment, or just after the curfew has lifted! It's one of the most stressful things you can do. No stress for you at the moment, just rest and try to get some strength back. The hospice or your GP could maybe arrange for a seat for you for the shower, hopefully within a few hours of you asking, then you could have your shower at your leisure. I love my shower seat. 

You know we are all here if you need us but try to rest as much as you can! There are a lot of prayers being said for you so I just hope someone up there is paying attention! Take Care my friend!

Hi Daloni

Me again, I've had a quick run through to catch up on what is happening. I hope I can get this post away before I fall asleep too many times and send this message to the ether!

Well, the main issue that I wasn't aware of when I wrote the last message is your daughter. Reading between the lines, you're angry about your daughter staying at uni and you're feeling really hurt by her actions.

You know your daughter much better than we do but we have all been on your long journey from the start when your life imploded because of the ski instructor. You picked yourself up from that and along with your two girls, you and they moved on as one unit. Your older daughter went off to uni and at every opportunity she returned to be united with you and her little sister. 

This is why, I and you along with many of our friends are mystified as to why she hasn't rushed back. Yes, her little sister needs her but you need her so very much more. When I think of you and your health problems as well as your marriage breakdown, I have an image that I had so many times and that's of the three of you on the bed, or the couch, you with your arms around the girls, and you're all comforting each other. 

I wonder is your daughter at uni so frightened to return because she'll be so heartbroken, aware that you're moving to the palliative care stage and she is petrified. Daloni, I hope she comes home soon and you are not thinking ill of her because she has stood alongside you all the way. I hope you're reunited with her asap Daloni. The sooner the better.

Take care

Tvman xxx

Hi tvman

Thanks for your kind words. Am I the glue? I hadn’t thought of myself that way. I think of us more like bee hive. Macmillan is the queen bee really, high up in the hive and us depending on Macmillan for the hive’s existence. We are all the worker bees, bringing the hive mind to bear. Does that metaphor stretch too thin? 

Anyway. My big girl. I think you’re right to a degree on everything you’ve said. I do understand that it was a huge decision for her to leave to go to uni and that having gone, she’s thrown herself into being independent and separating from me. It’s hard for kids to do at the best of times and she’s not had the best of times. Yes, I think she’s in denial but I think she’s beginning to understand and accept that she needs to come home. She wants to quarantine herself for two weeks and she’s completed a week. We expect her home late next week. 

Thank you for your concern. And for the hugs and prayers 

xxx

Hi

sorry I haven't responded sooner but been offline for a couple of days.  I wish I had your wonderful way with words but I don't  :(  sorry 

All I can offer is my hope that your pain is under control and virtual hugs xxx

Debs 

Hello, Daloni.  

I've not met you before, nor anyone on this forum, but I've been reading posts for a couple of months and gained a lot from your posts, your story, and each one of you.  I hope that it's okay for me, a stranger, to write to you now.

I was diagnosed, to my shock and dismay, with stage IVb UPSC in December.  Started carbo/taxol and they're about to add Avastin, because I had a mixed response that showed on CT scan (some stability, some regression, a progression).

But that's not why I'm writing!

I'm writing to tell you that I'm really sorry that you're in pain, and that you're entering palliative care.  You've been an inspiration to me--so kind, so thoughtful, and so steady.  I still hope that your docs come up with a treatment, but more importantly, that they'll make you comfortable, both physically and emotionally.  

Whenever you talk about your daughters, you speak (well, write) with such love and understanding.  I'm glad that your oldest will return soon to help you and her sister, that the three of you will be together.

I'm also glad that you're getting such good care, such loving care from your kids and your cancer team.  I am sending you healing thoughts and my thanks for the support that you have given me in the past couple of months.  You've helped many people and I appreciate your helping me . . . without even knowing it, and I'm sure there are others who you've not met, but to whom you've given of yourself.  

My heart is with you and your family.  

Take good care. 

Best wishes,

Beth