Hi
This will be a tricky time of year for many of us. So maybe we can join in a pity party together or enjoy others partying vicariously.
I am going to pop by my neighbours briefly but mostly I’ll be banished upstairs while my 15-year-old and her mates party downstairs. I have a horrible cough and enough meds to knock me out so I don’t suppose the noise will bother me too much - and actually the sound of young people enjoying themselves is always joyous and uplifting
xxx
Hi
You hit the nail on the head, it's so lovely to be home but I seem to have slept through most of January and found my book and iPad too heavy to hold!
We've had a week of beautiful sunshine so I've had a couple of very sedate dog walks, seen plenty of snowdrops and the birdsong is almost deafening 
I absolutely love these early signs of spring and can feel a bit of spark coming back.
I saw my Oncologist yesterday. She said the pneumonia was very severe, the inflammatory markers were through the roof and there are new tumours in my lungs. They're giving me another 10 days of recovery time and then starting weekly Paclitaxel. Will be heading off to Betty Browns Wigs with my prescription next week, have only just had my hair cut really short and dyed blonde, sigh, but it'll make the hair loss seem less dramatic.
I've been told this chemo is usually well tolerated and certainly less aggressive than the previous cocktail. I've been struggling for several months and feeling that things were going down hill, so it's a relief to have this new plan in place. I'd already decided not to go back to work, so will be a model patient but also concentrate on family, friends and fun.
The really good news is that I've got my driving licence back under 'annual medical review conditions' and am in the process of buying a car! Am beyond excited at the thought of having that independence back.
I'm looking forward to finally catching up with everyone's news. It's been a lonely month and the friendship, support and conversations here are a huge part of what gets me through.
I don't/can't talk to my nearest and dearest, the need to protect them is too strong, and find friends just can't seem to get it right. People I haven't seen in years wanted to come and see me in hospital, but a close friend I see every week hasn't been to see me at all. False reassurances like 'this is a minor blip' from someone who's never had a day of illness and instructions to get out and about and enjoy every minute are just draining at the moment. It's easier to keep everyone at arms length until I get a bit more resilience.
Have a good weekend folks xx
xx
Dear congratulations on getting your driver’s license back, it will be a massive boost to have your independence back, I don’t drive so my hubby is my chauffeur and I’m the back seat driver.
the way friendships are effected by cancer is a random old thing, people you expect to step up, let you down and others come out of hibernation and want to insert themselves into what are essentially your problems to be addressed in your way, with trite advice and platitudes they’ve read in self help books, I call it foot in mouth disease !
i tend to stick to my chums at my craft group at the hospice now, it’s less draining and I can be myself there, a bit like the seven dwarfs from Snow White,
Dear
It’s fantastic you can get the travelling down to half an hour, I’m so lucky that my hospice in Warrington is only a ten minute drive from the house, my cancer clinic 20 minutes and my dialysis clinic 10 minutes. I know how hard it is for those that have to rely on hospital transport, you have pick other people up along the way and it can make for a long day. I’m glad you found the foot in mouth disease description of mine funny, it conjures up a image that puts people remarks in a comedy context, so next time it happens you can have a little private laugh to yourself.
