Christmas

That’s lovely . Thank you. 
xx

Dear

a Great thought about Christmas!  I share your sentiment.

may everyone have a Glorious Christmas and Holiday Season

millie

Hi All

5 am and I haven't slept one minute. Pain? No. I can't help thinking that this may be my last Christmas. My bone marrow is failing, my Haematologist told me about 4 years ago and now it's hit another low, neutropenia, which came out of the blue. I'm at a low ebb and in 3 hours I have to get up to open presents with the family.

I'll cook the dinner, I love cooking, I'll have a couple of glasses of wine and watch telly. Maybe go up the road in my wheelchair, dog leading, and let the air run through the hair that I don't have. 

I'm not having almost constant chemo like many. My hair isn't falling out, I'm not having liver or kidney biopsies. My cancer will turn into an agressive leukemia and the end will be quick. Earlier yesterday I almost broke down but I held it together. I don't know why I'm pouring my heart out and I feel silly for that..

I've just had a chat with my wife and she has said to enjoy Christmas with my big sons. I've no infection yet so that's a positive. 

Better put my head down and try to sleep. Good night folks.

Tvman ️

deartvman I’m sorry to hear you are feeling so melancholic, I think the festive season has the power to heighten our feelings, remembering Christmas past when things were different, I’ve found myself being a bit teary eyed over the last few days. I think those of us with blood cancer sometimes minimise the psychological pressure of living with these diseases because there is no outward sign of what is going on in our bodies. I have been neutropenic on a few occasions, my doctors stopped my treatment as a precaution but things soon settled down so try not to think the worst. So go ahead any enjoy today and raise a glass for me as with my kidney dialysis alcohol is on the banned list

Hello TVman

I've been awake since 3.00am, so beat you.  At this time if year I think we all find it difficult. We wonder if it's our last Christmas and feel cheated of a future. It's hard to hold it together in front of family and friends. I was very tearful yesterday but like you I will be up and welcome family fir the day, although my husband will do the cooking. We are all having to eat late around 5.00pm because of my oral chemo timings and I feel a bit guilty about that but so be it. I have a new grandchild as you may have read and might get to meet her today or tomorrow. We are visiting Buckinghamshire from the Nirth East so wont see that much of her.  Take heart that you and we are still here. If we dont have a life in front of us, then at least we have the day. So take up that glass of wine and raise a cheer to all of us trying to live the best life we can with our various cancers.  Merry Christmas from me to you.

Ellie x

Hi tvman

I hope things will look different when the sun comes up. If it is your last Christmas, you might as well enjoy it. If it’s not, well, you’ll feel a right twerp if you spend this one moping around. So you might as well enjoy it 

Chin up, my lovely. It’s Christmas 

xxx

Tvman

If only we had a magic wand - oh how wonderful that would be.

I have no words of wisdom of you only love

Iamlyn x

Dear tvman

So sorry to see that you are feeling low.  I understand, I feel the same way some days and it is hard.  

But we have today, so let us enjoy today. I’m back in Kauai. Alone with my Hellen Keller dog Skipi (blind and deaf). Having dinner with a close friends family (vegans) so I’ll have my Christmas dinner of turkey, green beans gravy and stuffing with cranberry sauce at home before I go so I will not starve!

It’s been raining since I arrived- so no gardening yet but soon!  My main worry today is convincing Skipi to go out in the rain to do his business outside instead of in the house.

I have no words of wisdom- just sending love to you and yours. As George used say don’t worry worry till worry worries you. Enjoy today.

Hugs and love,

Millie

Thanks a million everyone for your support yesterday. After a few hours sleep and opening presents, having my two sons with us, cooking a wonderful Christmas dinner even though I say so myself , melancholy me was history. 

So now Boxing Day, a little r&r, talk to the boys and go for a walk up the road with the dog, just us time.

Have a great day everyone.

Tvman x

Hello Tvman

Happy to read you are feeling a bit better today. I think most of us have felt like you have. Enjoy your day. I'm off to visit new grandchild, walk the dog with my husband and then indulge in the chocolates I have been given.

Ellie x