Struggling

 Thank you Roobarb, she's gorgeous! xxxx

That's brilliant news Flowerlady! Our holiday gave me such a boost and I'm still feeling the benefit. I found out since that my husband and sons were a bit worried about going away with me, but it was all fine. So glad your boyfriend is up for travelling now, we all fell in love with Kefalonia and I'm sure Rhodes is just as stunning. Here's to the next trip!  xx

Hi Tinalay

Your story about your teenagers made me laugh out loud. So typical! Poor little Noodle tried to say hello to one of my cats yesterday and got swiped across the nose as a reward. Not so much the cat having the upper hand as the upper claw. 

I’m back at the hospital today. It’s going to be a long, long day. There’s a query over the result of some test or other and now we have to wait for the go ahead from CRUK. If treatment goes ahead it will be this afternoon rather than this morning as I hoped, pushing everything back in terms of post treatment blood samples and observations. I have an overnight stay and blood samples due 24 hours after the start of the infusion so it will spill over into tomorrow too. Boo! 

Is your scan tomorrow? I shall be thinking of you. 

xxx

Since we are sharing cute doggy pics...

Dear Tinalay

I'm catching up after a break and your post really touched me. I'm sorry you're feeling that things are hard. You write such lovely posts so I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and hope the scan goes well with veins miraculously popping up to play nicely.

Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability.  There's something special about the site; I thought I was in need of a break from cancer but actually there is an understanding here which is hard to find elsewhere. 

Hope the sun is shining where you are today, it's beautiful here. 

Lovely pictures of dogs - they all look like great company - I'm afraid I can barely keep myself and the children in food and clean clothes! 

x

Hi Tinalay

So sorry to hear that your sister won't be with you, but given the circumstances it's understandable. Have you anyone else to be with you? It's always a help to have another person there if only to behave as a memory bank! 

Your arrangement to get 4 hrs with your sister is similar to my time with my other brother. He comes to see me about once every 6 weeks and we have about 5 hours together. We chat for most of the time and go for lunch together, somewhere of my choosing and he always drives so I can have a beer and/or glass of wine. Unfortunately, he and his wife have no children and I am his ONLY blood relative left alive. I'd like to see him more and I think I'll suggest it tomorrow when he comes to mine. 

Did I find the arthritis course helpful? I was expecting advice on pain relief, new drugs to help with halting the progress. Well, each week was about setting daily activities which would really take my mind off the arthritis. We had to make action plans to do for the next week. There were two tutors, at least one of whom is suffering from arthritis. I must admit though that I find the idea of planning my day as quite a good idea. I still have horrendous back pain that prevents me from walking however and what I most want is to be pain free and take a five mile walk in the countryside. I can barely walk for five metres pain free. Maybe some day..........

My nerve pain has now moved to my toes, as well so I now waken up another two times at least, every night. I'll be off to the doctor's if it keeps up.

The very best of luck for you tomorrow Tinalay. I'll be chatting to my brother about you, if you don't mind. 

Take care Tinalay

Tvman xx

I'm really proud of my lovely dog, but he's the weirdest creature around. If we go away for a week or two, he'll come to the door. That's it, no waggy tail, no jumping up and down. 

He's everyone's friend when it's dinner time, and walkies time

This is Conan (Irish for dog!!)

7 years old

Dear Clare, you've hit the nail on the head, there's an understanding here that is unique, who else would hope for veins miraculously popping up on a scan day! Thank you for your support. After a grey start the sun came out eventually and by late afternoon it was a beautiful day for a walk by the river, the autumn colours are stunning. 

I hope your treatment is keeping you stable and well enough to enjoy precious time with your children. I'm in awe of anyone going through this with a young family to look after, and hope you've got plenty of support. Is it half term for you next week? It's good to have a break from the routine, hope you'll have lots of fun together.  xx

Hi Tinalay & All here, I've just seen the posts here for the first time and read them all! Firstly, I feel left out in the cold because I don't have a dog to take a picture of! I love animals as long as they are someone else's but love seeing all those cute photos! We try to go away for breaks as often as we can, so it wouldn't be fair to a dog to be fobbed off to someone else while we were away! Also if you have a lovely daughter (like Daloni) at home to take care of them, that would be a bit easier!

I understand what you mean about your veins Tinalay, mine seem to be getting worse and I haven't even had chemo! I do hope everything goes well this morning when you go for your scan and the results are positive! My practise nurse told me always to wear thermal gloves when I was going for a scan, as they keep your veins hot! Anything is worth a try eh!  

I know exactly what you mean about not telling our nearest and dearest about being apprehensive when going for scans and results. Mine keep saying how strong I am, so although I don't feel it, I have to keep up the pretence, so they won't worry! We just get into character when people say how well we look and they assume all is well! I do think most of you will relate to this! Don't you think if we all could get together, we could put on a great Panto with our acting skills! LOL!! As you say, at least here, we can tell it how it is and know people understand!

You will be in my thoughts and prayers today and if having well wishers work.......you should be fine because you have them in abundance! Good luck!

Wow, Conan is a handsome boy. I think he's also very wise Tvman. He's letting you know he disapproves of your going away for a week or two, he's not going to reward you with a waggy tail and excited jumping up and down. He meets you at the door, good, you're back, let's not speak of this again...lol.

As for Noodle, that wee face goes straight to the heart strings, she is just adorable. If she's anything like Sula she won't take the hint from the cat and will keep trying to make friends inspite of the swipes. (I'm going to jump to your thread to catch up on yesterday's events so that you don't have to repeat yourself and no one misses your news)

Hi Annette, you're absolutely right, we've only been abroad once since we got our dog and it involved a lot more forward planning and expense now that there's just the two of us at home. I'm sure regular breaks are every bit as therapeutic.

I did laugh at your idea of a panto! We are so good at our 'game faces' but actually it helps me too, it's just a relief to let it slip at times.

Thank you for your support. I'm glugging water, digging out the thermal gloves and booked into the chemo unit for a cannula, but the  thing that's helped the most this week is the overwhelming support from everyone here. Priceless. xx