Scared of what i might hear.

Hi Eilleellie I hope it all goes well for you tomorrow.I know what you mean,I read people stories on here and can’t believe how brave everyone is.My appointment isn’t till Oct 21st but I will be dreading just like you.I had a ct scan last week and will find out the results then.

I am just going on holiday which we booked last year.I finished my 4 round of chemo the end of August.So the consultant said it was ok to go.I will pray for you for good news.xx

Ellie, I'm so sorry to hear this, it's always a shock to hear that there's been disease progression. This bit is the worst, when your fears are sky high and you can't see a way forward. I hope your Consultant will have a clear plan for you today.

I was told in Feb that I had a liver met, and started oral chemo. It's taken some months to find the right dose, one I can tolerate that is also keeping things stable, but I can honestly say the met itself hasn't caused any problems. Many on this site reassured me at the time that they were living with liver mets and it wasn't the bleak outlook it once was.

It can be very useful to read about other people's experiences, but you are unique....and this is all about you now. 

I think you're very brave for your honesty in expressing your fears. 

"Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?" 

"That is the only time he can be brave" 

That's a quote from A Game of Thrones, never seen it or read it, but it fits. You're scared to death and stressed, and yet you'll go to your appointment and hopefully find out just what you're dealing with, and I'm guessing you'll follow the plan even if it's daunting.

Trust me, you are brave. I'll be thinking of you today, sending you a big hug xx

Here's another one for you Ellie, and all of us dealing with this.

Scared is what you're feeling. Brave is what you're doing. xx

Hello

Thanks for your reply.  It gives me hope when I hear of other people in the same position.  I often think why me, and then I think why not me. I went for a walk this morning with my dog Molly through the woods.  The sun was actually shining and I could hear the leaves falling down around me. I turned a  corner and the path was covered in orange hues with the sun bouncing off them and crunching underfoot. I suddenly felt aware of myself and my love for life. Whatever tonight brings, i am not ready to give up yet i have too many sun filled days yet to live and i know some rainey days as well. Happiness is a state of mind and we have a choice,  

Ellie

Atta girl

Ellie that looks wonderful, best of luck with your appointment today, hoping it is better news than you expect. A lovely walk with your dog (I’ve got a spaniel too! ) always makes the world a better place, love heather xxxx

Hi Ellie 

Another quote for you, I hope it might help - just a little....

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”    Nelson Mandela

I have never felt such fear as the events that led me to this forum, but I have also never previously encountered the inspiration or courage that people here present on a daily basis.  

Best wishes

Brian xx

Hi Brian

Thank you for the quote.

Ellie x

Ellie - you’re more than welcome! Old Nelson has made one or two absolute belters!

I’m sure we’re all scared (I know I am!)

Coming here helps me immensely

big hugs xxx

Brian

hi I know being scared and everything else that goes with it you stressed all the time and worry fils you up and you don't eat my best friend checks me bin and me freezer seeing how much food I have thrown away my best friend keeps telling me how brave i am dealing with everything in my own way you are brave too I also have ach in abdomen too dreading my scan as everybody knows on the as I think the worst it's got worse has  mine has spread to liver on last scan you trust me are brave you are one of them keep fighting like mad I know I am I am here if you need to chat good or had or scream and shoutxxxxx