I am so desperate for someone to chat to

Oh Popgate, I'm glad you posted, I'm sure there are many here  who can help you, including some that will make you laugh.

Have you thought about phoning the Macmillan help line? Even with family or friends, many of us find there are things we can't/don't say to them, but you do need to be able to talk to someone. The helpline is perfect for this. You should also tell your chemo nurse at the hospital how you're feeling.

You can get help for the anxiety, make an appointment with your GP. We all know how daunting scans and results are, but it sounds as if you need something to get you through those difficult times and there are plenty of things out there.

We have a Cancer Care Centre at the hospital who offer complimentary therapies to support people undergoing treatment, do you have anything like that?

Lack of sleep is a form of torture isn't it? It makes everything so much harder to deal with. I never did get used to being bald with no eyelashes or eyebrows, and like you, avoided mirrors. I tried a wig but hardly ever used it, and my hair grew back, curly at first, and is as strong and healthy as ever.

So glad you have a dog, he sounds lovely. Getting out into the fresh air is so good for you, I hope you're able to enjoy walks with him.

There's always someone here to talk to, day or night. Everyone finds this overwhelming at times. You have to get through the next 5 minutes, then the next and then the next. Baby steps. xx

On thank you for getting back to me you don't know what this means to me i am not good with what I call Tec no how i am surprised I managed to send to right place!!! my consultant has booked me into the waiting list of the psychologists cancer services but I am not good talking to strangers face to face i am going to brave and have a go and my nurse specialist is brill with me i don't want any more meds to be honest I don't want to chance anything upsetting chemo as I have had two cancelled which I get in me head that's more time for the cancer to spread somewhere else it's already spread as it is my biggest problem is being in my own when my best friend isn't with me that is when it all kicks off that is why I am so hopeing I can get chats with other people on here that's what I need i really do need a laughter medicine dose on a good day like sat i was gardening big passion of mine my music was playing and the weather was good and I was completely fine for saying i had chemo on the Fri i forgot I have incurable cancer it was like that other person had gone away then the weather changes you can't garden and then it all starts all over again the other person had returned i really do hope I get some support on here as already i feel a bit better that you have contacted me it means the world to me thank you thank you xx

Good for you, it's not easy talking to strangers but it's the psychologist's job to put you at ease.

 You don't have to take regular medication, for example your Dr can prescribe a beta blocker as a one off just for the most stressful occasions such as results. People take one before a big presentation, an exam or a flight. I'm sure other people here have their own ways of dealing with those situations which might help you.

It's natural to worry about disease progression when you have to miss chemo. Part of this deal is learning not to worry about the things we have no control over, and you're right, keeping busy helps. I sing along to my play list when I'm doing things that don't engage my brain and that helps too.

You've come to the right place and you'll be welcomed with open arms. xx

Oh Popgate/Flippen

You are having such a difficult and worrying time. It's so good that you have such a great friend, someone who sounds like she's almost your shadow. A fantastic friend indeed.

Have you been to see your GP? I may have missed it if you have, but if you haven't, please go. I was much the same as you, and my GP has been great in prescribing medication. 

However, we can help ourselves, by coming to this group, that's a great decision. You'll find people who are in the same boat as you. You're not alone, no matter how low your mood is. You say you would like to laugh. Unfortunately due to the site's rules, we aren't allowed to tell jokes anywhere, apart from a group within the community entitled something like "Laughter is the best medicine". Use the search method to find it, I wholeheartedly would recommend it, Big Pete is the main contributor. Friday is his day for laughter 

The lovely Tinalay has already given you excellent advice, so please use it, and also what I have said. There will be others following, indeed during the time I have been writing this, there may have already been 1 or 2. My spinal problem causes my fingers to jerk uncontrollably, meaning I make, and have to repair, many errors. 

I hope Popgate/Flippen, you can get your life back on track.

Tvman x

on this is great thank you for contacting me i am not very good with online things so it's a positive for me i have got this far!!I am mor e pen and paper i have just signed up to the laughter.is the best medicine group my daft sense of humour is what I am known for on a good day I can't tell you the relief to chat it's what's been the trouble and living on my own is a nightmare my only best friend is amazing but I don't want to offload too much on her but she can read me like a book she knows me too well then she tells me off for not being truthful to her the last thing I want to do is keep worrying her so thank you again for your support it means so much to me

So sorry to hear you are going through such a miserable time. You’ve definitely come to the right place here. Everyone is so supportive and it doesn’t matter if you’re miserable or want to share good news, you can just be yourself. Your friend sounds like a treasure. You’re lucky to have her, but if you want to share good times with her and have a good moan to us, feel free. 

hi thank you for contacting me i keep saying the same thing to all these people today I can't believe it how everyone is so supportive I haven't cried for nearly six hrs now that's an achievement let me tell you for me this is so amazing to have a chat with everyone it's so uplifting you can't imagine being in your own and trying to cope with everything that comes with it the hospital staff are fantastic with me being as I am and yes my best friend no words can explain how she is there are not many people in the planet like her always tried to make me laugh off a situation when it gets too much for me we are complete soul mates when we both need each other we are there for each other no matter what thanks again for your support it means so much to me

ello Popgate/Flippen

I have just read you post and wanted to respond to you to say that it is a brave thing you have done posting on here and letting your feelings out.

I have only just recently joined this group having been an avid reader of the post for a couple of months.  You will see that you can be who you are say what you want and will not be judged.

Please know that its ok not to be ok and you will have some bad days but know that there are a lot of lovely people rooting for you. 

Your friend sounds amazing, I have a very good friend as well who is fantastic and that's what friends are for good time and others there to support you.

Hospital staff also seem to be being good to you as well.

Just keep on chatting if you need to someone will always answer on here.

Hugs from A fellow traveller and also a technophobe

Hi Popgate, Well that's what this site is all about .....chatting! When you are sad, worried, anxious or happy, there's always someone here to share it with you, so you've come to the right place! I see from your profile you also joined "Laughter is the best Medicine" that too is the right thing to do!! Isn't it a shame dogs can't talk! I hope you are feeling a bit better!

Heya Popgate

Just thought I'd say that I can imagine being alone and dealing with everything. That's my situation. 

Most friends fucked off after my diagnosis 7 years ago, dumped after being diagnosed as he didn't want to be with someone who was sick, family all live 250 miles away in Edinburgh, where I'm in Leeds, and are totally disinterested in what I'm going through. So every appointment I've been to myself, and last time I needed a procedure, I had to stay in hospital overnight because I wasn't allowed to be by myself. That's always fun to admit to a doctor who is sitting there saying that there must be SOMEONE, and I'm sitting there going nope, now can we move on before I get upset!

So you're not alone in doing this by yourself. There are a few of us around. 

Lass

Xx