Book WITH THE END IN MIND

FormerMember
FormerMember
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If anyone is frightened or can’t get it of you mind, I was told of a book which I recommend 

WITH THE END IN MIND by Kathryn Mannix

really good read

  • I also bought the book shortly after Daloni recommended it but have yet to start reading it.  I guess I feel it is not so urgent a need but maybe I am just avoiding it.

    For me it is like the "worthy" book that you take on holiday but ignore in favour of a lot of relaxing fiction.  I will read it but maybe not just yet.

    Gragon x

  • Speaking as the mother of a dog groomer cockapoo's are lovely but have coats that need professional grooming every 8 to 10 weeks and daily thorough brushing. She spends a lot of her day shaving neglected cockapoos. I also have a soft spot for staffies but obviously the woman is always right in a good relationship and I would never interfere.

    Although the subject of death is painful there is a huge sense of relief when the practical and financial arrangements are sorted. Better to do them now when you are still well than a last minute rush.

    A life lived in fear, is a life half lived.
    Nicky
  • Hello all.

    I have just finished the book. Without being melodramatic, I do think it is the most important book I have ever read.

    It has sorted out my worries and so much more. You definitely do not have to worry that this will reduce you to a gibbering wreck, although I was crying at the foreword, but that's my hormones!

    After a while you don't cry so much anymore because you are lost in the stories and astounded how this lady has given a happy ending to just about all of her patients and their families. She takes them from a nightmare existence to a peaceful exit.

    Everyone should read it, not just people in our positions.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Norberry

    Thx Norbs - I'll get stuck into mine asap

    SiT

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Norberry

    I’m reading it.  The first few chapters made me cry but I’m passed that now and I just find it incredibly interesting reading.  I’m thinking of sending it to my sister.  I am in the process of doing 2 powers of attorney, one for my health so my sister and her husband can make decisions on my behalf, and one for my money.  By the way, if you have pet plan animal insurance it can be transferred- this is good because my little dog has ongoing issues and I was worried that my sons would have to fork out if the dog was ill.

  • It also equips you for talking to friends and relatives about the big event. I'm not saying that they will say "well, thats ok then" when you explain you are expecting a comfortable finish but you can tell  them truthfully that is indeed the case. I have fibbed for so long, I've forgotten how to tell the truth!

    If you can get your nearest and dearest to have a butchers  it will pay dividends.

    Good luck to you all.

  • Everyone is very positive about this book, I'm prevaricating about getting it. I don't feel ready to hear about it.

    I did have a good experience with my grandmother a few years ago. She had inoperable bowel cancer, too advanced for treatment. She wanted to stay at home to die. At the time of her diagnosis she was living alone. One of her sons moved in with her and we set up a rota so that there were almost always two of us at home with her. With the support of district nurses, Macmillan and Marie Clare nurses she died peacefully at home, so I know that it can be done, though I guess we wouldn't be able to set up the same way now in the pandemic.

    I'm nervous at the moment because I have my 4th round of chemo starting next week, then it's review time to see if there has been any palliative effect. I dare not hope too much. 

    Sarah 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Salis

    I’m having my review on Monday.  SiT calls this periid between scan and results scanxiety.l

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hey Maz - best of luck with that but if scanxiety is high... invest in copious amounts of Ben&Jerries!!! Yum!

  • Salis, SiT and Maz, Bloody scans, we want them and hate them. Pity you can't hibernate between the scan and result!

    Everything crossed for your continuing treatments.

    And the book, it will not get you worrying about dying all the time, the very opposite, it will remove the fear and let you get on with living.