Feeling the cold

Hi Maz

Family is so hard isn’t it.  My husband is a worrier and when I was first diagnosed 13 months ago and had major surgery, he ended up in hospital too with a nervous breakdown.  So I am slightly cautious now, what I tell him.

waiting for scan results is hard especially when they tell you that they are sitting there looking at them!  I had that last month so I rang my GP and he had already received a copy, so he broke the bad news to me, and it was actually much nicer coming from him.  Just a thought, might not apply with yours.  Hope the results are what you hope for when you get them

love

gaynor

Hi.

Love the haircut too.  I am waiting for mine to start coming out .  The initial six months chemo last year just made it go a bit thinner, but with this latest chemo I am told that it will definitely come out.  I have a wig ready and must get round to finding some vid3os. On Youtube on tying turbans.  I am told that it might start coming out this next week and I am hoping to have the courage to just cut it off in one go, so that the shock is over and done with in one go.

xxx

Hi Annette anndanv

I am sorry to hear you’ve had a rough few days. I think we are all struggling in this cold and damp. The thought of some winter sun brings a smile to my face. I’m imaging lying on the beach, listening to gentle waves lapping at the shore right now. It’s doing me a power of good 

I hope you perk up soon 

lots of love xxx

Hi

Goodness it must have been a difficult time when you were in hospital and your husband had a nervous breakdown. I can see you’d need to be very careful with him. I really don’t know how I’d cope in your shoes. You must be a very kind and empathic person. 

It is pretty grim when your hair starts coming out. Mine was getting everywhere. It was all over the bathroom, in my bed  and getting into food and on the furniture. My sister hoovered me after lunch on Saturday - just before I got it chopped - as there was hair all down my back and shoulders after sitting for an hour. There were only so many times I could joke that “I’m literally tearring my hair out” as I ran my hands through my hair and came away with a handful. So although I started yesterday with what looked like a good head of hair I’m glad I made the decision to get a buzz cut. I feel I look quite strong with this very short hair and it’s a kind of transition to no hair. I’m still shedding hair but somehow it’s not so ugh when it’s so short. 

It’s my second time of going through hair loss. It all came out in 2014 with the first chemo. I found the search for headwear profoundly depressing. Everything on offer looked so, well, chemo. The price of some of the headwear is eye watering and for some reason I will never fathom, the retailers seem to favour rhyming names such as Anna Bandanna or Suburban Turban. It’s a touch of whimsy too far for me.  The websites either use attractive models with hair and make up to model their hats or mannequins. I couldn’t look at either and imagine myself. I couldn’t get on with a wig as I was going through a surgical menopause and had steam coming out of my ears. 

I did a workshop at the chemo unit offered by Breast Cancer Care where we tried out different styles and found that a super soft square cotton scarf, folded into a triangle and tied below one ear worked best for me. I used to put a straw hat on top - it was summer - and felt very Grace Kelly. Towards autumn I found I needed a sleeping cap as my head got cold at night. I’ve still got the wig and I still don’t think I’ll wear it. I have the cotton scarves too and might order some more in different colour. They are only £5.99. I’ve got a couple of new soft sleeping hats on the way. 

My best advice is to do your headwear shopping with a friend who makes you laugh. I hope you find what works for you 

lots of love xxx

Just as an idea.

If you're looking for headwear that's maybe a bit different, have a look on the websites and shops that sell hijabs. There are lots of different caps that are elasticated so just pop onto your head - and these come in different colours, and some even sparkle. Then of course the actual hijabs come in all sorts of different colours, patterns, and sizes.

Here in Leeds we've also got some Nigerian/African shops that sell very different style of colour and print to the hijabs, for the ladies who like to wrap their heads. Though I'm not sure if there's a special name for that or not.

Just a couple of ideas if you want a full wrap to keep you warm over the next couple of months.

Lass

Xx

Hi Lass

Thank you! And oddly enough I was looking at hijabs (or rather the caps worn underneath the hijab)  this morning and thinking hmmmm, this might work. I buy a lot of African fabrics from a shop out the back of Petticoat Lane and they sell lengths of fabric specifically for head scarves. I don’t know how to tie them though. I bet I can find out. 

We are clearly on the same wavelength 

xx

Hi everyone 

Before this no one would ever associate the word fickle with me but just getting the news my bloods had held (only once ever heard before) I am renewed. 

I was out last night, well till 8.30pm, had a lovely meal and met up with friends I had not seen for ages. Little worn out today and the strangest of things my finger tips on one hand are red, burning and painful. Feels like little thorns have gone down every nail but they have not. 

I am enjoying being upbeat and positivity is back it oodles. The way my oncologist usually plays it is if it is good news I get a call saying I don't need an earlier appointment. A locum messed that up once by calling me in to give me the results and they were the best we had. My husband I were expecting the worst and all was stable. My oncologists secretary is on the case now so I should get them soon she will hound him down if he keeps ignoring her emails. I think I love that woman.

I sympathize re your husband if the boot were on the other foot I would be terrible as the other person. He knows I would be undearably controling probably give us both a breakdown. Pat (my hubby) is quiet and can bottle things up but keeping him involved helps, most of all my daughter keeps him right. I have stopped saying don't tell her when I go into hospital as he does and she keeps him on track and calm. She can still not get him to bring the right things into hospital for me but she thinks I am too fussy anyway. He now turns up with a suitcase and tells me to choose. Silly man half the fun is telling them off. 

Sun shining here today but my hubby says it is absolutely freezing out. Plenty to do today as going to decorate the bedroom this week. 

Good luck to everyone awaiting results 

My best buys were two bamboo hats great in cold and heat. I got a bright red one and a blue one covered all outfits. I still wear them for walking. 

Heya,

I've bought from here before - https://www.hearthijab.com/hijab-caps - for a show I was costuming. Their prices are excellent and both the hijabs and the caps I bought were lovely.

As for the Nigerian style head wraps...

https://youtu.be/8uZVxHRC7pY

https://youtu.be/ha6iXTrwzWg

I think that should be 9 different looks to try out with the funky materials you can find. Lol

Have fun, and do let us know what works and what doesn't!

Lass

Xx

Hi, Anndanv,

Thank you for your reply. 

Like you I love the cropped cut as it is so easily managed. Shampoo, quick run through with the fingers and you are good to go. A dash of blusher helps to complete the look, but I am not good with make up and can end up clown like if I'm not careful.

I will take your advice and visit the doctor tomorrow as this is shout out painful at the moment.

I know how you feel waiting for scan results, it is so scary. I hope you hear soon to put your mind at rest.

I am with you all the way on the inactivity. It drives me round the bend not being able to do what I once did. I think we need to try and adopt a new mind set but it's so hard to do. Given the opportunity, I think I could manage to lounge about on a sun drenched beach listening to the magic of the sea,  I think that would be a great starting point to settle  our restless minds.

Sending you a big positive hug and warm wishes.

xxx Elanora