Feeling like a fraud

Hi, I was really interested to read your post as I feel the same, although maybe for different reasons. 

I had a colonoscopy on 2nd January 2025 and was told I had a large bowel polyp that needed surgery. Surgery was on 27th January, out of hospital after 3 nights, back to work 5 weeks later and had it confirmed last week that the polyp was cancerous but no spread and so the surgery is considered curative. Just monitoring for 5 years.

It's been very quick, I've never felt unwell, and I feel pretty much back to normal now. I didn't feel how I imagined I would feel if someone said I had cancer...maybe because most of my experience has been from films or people who sadly did not have good outcomes.

I don't know if that helps but I guess it was just to say we're all different in our experiences, outcomes and the way we feel...and that's ok. Maybe it will hit you further down the line and maybe it won't...that's ok too. To be honest, my life has been tough going over the last 10 years and this was one of the easier experiences. There were no options, no decisions to make, no other people making life complicated - I just had to turn up at hospital on the day I was told and do what the doctors and nurses said. I'm thankful for that as I realise it isn't everyone's experience. 

Hope you're doing ok and go easy on yourself :-) I'm sorry your experience with medical staff wasn't better. The worrying might be something you want to explore with a trained professional at some point if you feel it's impacting on your life. 

I jokingly say to people who say how well I look "yeah, hard to believe i had cancer, isn't it?!" But on the inside i wish i did look more unwell so that people understood what I actually feel like and have felt like. I know how lucky I am to not need more treatment, but I can't believe myself that I had cancer, so why would others?

 P pp

Thought it was just me who felt like this ..I had cervical cancer that was found and treated really fast .. hadn’t been ill or anything and full hysterectomy etc the Thursday and home the next day.

Had radiotherapy for weeks just before Christmas and had my 3 month checkup last week.

I still think to myself did that actually happen as I don’t look any different and it just feels like a bad dream and unreal.

im not back at work as get tired easily and get a bit out of breath  .. I don’t know if that’s after effects of the treatment or because I’ve not been as active as before the treatment ..

People keep asking when am I back at work or commenting.. probably don’t mean to upset me but it’s making me feel like a fraud and a skiver ..

My job involves lifting and physical stuff which I just don’t feel up to doIng still.

Never thought it would be harder after treatment ended.

Hi Geordiesuzie 

I noticed you had treatment for cervical cancer, so if you ever feel like joining our cervical cancer group (link is in my signature) you are welcome to post there in addition to the womb group. 

There are a number of ladies there who have had hysterectomies, and feelings after cancer and treatment often come up in the group. 

Sarah xx

Thank you I’ll join it now xx

Someone compared it all with a train ride where you just get carried along until the end of treatment when you're left at a station you know nothing about and you're expected to just get on with life. I've found a lot of help from Force cancer charity and one more local to where I live, it's really helped me to spend time with others who've also had cancer. And I'm making a point of calling it "my cancer" almost to confirm to myself that it happened.

That it EXACTLY a train ride then left at the station… you’ve described it perfectly.

Its a huge help seeing messages from other people who have felt exactly the same way and it’s not just me overthinking x