Feeling like a fraud

Hi, I was really interested to read your post as I feel the same, although maybe for different reasons. 

I had a colonoscopy on 2nd January 2025 and was told I had a large bowel polyp that needed surgery. Surgery was on 27th January, out of hospital after 3 nights, back to work 5 weeks later and had it confirmed last week that the polyp was cancerous but no spread and so the surgery is considered curative. Just monitoring for 5 years.

It's been very quick, I've never felt unwell, and I feel pretty much back to normal now. I didn't feel how I imagined I would feel if someone said I had cancer...maybe because most of my experience has been from films or people who sadly did not have good outcomes.

I don't know if that helps but I guess it was just to say we're all different in our experiences, outcomes and the way we feel...and that's ok. Maybe it will hit you further down the line and maybe it won't...that's ok too. To be honest, my life has been tough going over the last 10 years and this was one of the easier experiences. There were no options, no decisions to make, no other people making life complicated - I just had to turn up at hospital on the day I was told and do what the doctors and nurses said. I'm thankful for that as I realise it isn't everyone's experience. 

Hope you're doing ok and go easy on yourself :-) I'm sorry your experience with medical staff wasn't better. The worrying might be something you want to explore with a trained professional at some point if you feel it's impacting on your life. 

I jokingly say to people who say how well I look "yeah, hard to believe i had cancer, isn't it?!" But on the inside i wish i did look more unwell so that people understood what I actually feel like and have felt like. I know how lucky I am to not need more treatment, but I can't believe myself that I had cancer, so why would others?