Fatigue

Thanks Thehighlander, for your understanding, as I panicked when I reread my entry, that people would not understand that you have to look after animals, even if you do not really want to get up. Its a bit like having a toddler, you just have to!

Your mum sounds like my parents, now long gone, but of the generation of my OH s parents, one of whom we have the LP of Attorney for. My dad would have been exactly like your mum re his money!!

I always seem to wake up tired, so that might be a new normal, for some while anyway. Very annoying though. This week is going to be a very low spoon count week, with 2 hospital visits and a day out on Thursday. Fingers crossed for the ultra sound on Wed. I expect I will be really low again, mentally and physically, come Friday, regardless of how I try and reserve energy. Feeling like this is a good reason for not running out of spoons!! Then I can cope with life better. Not sure I am going to get much work done at all this week, it'll take everything and more, just to exist. Need to try and live within the spoon allowance, but not possible at the moment, hence the frustration.

I will not be running the Race, but walking!! It is my personal challenge to get fit enough to do the 3 and a bit miles in a sensible time, and try and extend my horizon beyond a week. Scary. But has the blessing of the counsellor at least.

Regards

When livestock is your lively hood they have to be looked after regardless of what tries to stop you and it often has a negative effect on health.

When I went though my second Stem Cell Transplant I got to know a man who had a herd rare breed cattle that he showed and sold...... only a year after his treatment he had to sell all the cattle as he could not look after them and he could not pay someone to do the work for him - 30 years work just disappearing over night.

Let’s look for your ultrasound to go well and result in positive news.

You do need to be kind to yourself so a little treat from time to time can help lift a low spirit.

In the early days post treatment I was not allowed to be in any crowed for the first year post treatment as my immune system was so bad so we would get some fish and chips and drive the 10 mins out to the shores of Loch Ness and look for the beasty...... lol

Have a good few days and do come back and say how you got on on Wednesday x

Thehighlander

The ultrasound was clear, in that they didn't find the lump, but inconclusive for the same reason in my eyes. But no one seems concerned so I'll just have to keep an 'eye'  on it myself, and flag it up again if it keeps growing.

Lucky you to be near Loch Ness. My aim is to return to Scotland again at some point when we can drive up. Fond memories. Having said that, I'm in a lovely part of England, Worcs/Shrops/ Herefordshire area, just need to remove some of the traffic!

Not quite as tired as I thought today, the trip yesterday was a high school art trip into Birmingham, as I work 1 day a week as DT technician. Was stiff this morning. Mood still up and down, and still the base of fatigue. Batten down the hatches today, before the next storm. Hope you are ok.

Yes, very bad weather up with us, my daughter and family are driving to Birmingham tomorrow for her to attend the craft show in Birmingham as she is an online craft supplier working from Inverness sending stuff all over the world.

So I would take a clear ultrasound as positive and see it that way. I was actually discharged back in June 2018 and was told “go live your life and we don’t want to see you as getting you in all the time and you getting these letters just raise anxiety. You know what to look out for and you know where we are”

Dont know if you have seen the article below? but I often have a look at it during the ‘what if?’ times.

Oh you must do Scotland again - I could even have a coffee with you both.

So fire is on and the feet are up for a few days ((hugs))

What Is Scanxiety and How Can You Manage It?

February 26, 2018 - Choose Hope

The first time you read or hear it, “scanxiety” may look and sound like a funny word. However, when you are going through it, there is nothing funny about this very real condition. From the first MRI following a doctor’s suspicious discovery during a routine exam to the annual PET scan years after an initial diagnosis, the fear and worry that accompanies imaging appointments can take a significant toll on your emotional and mental wellbeing.

Fortunately, you can take steps to minimise and cope with the sometimes-overwhelming emotions you feel.

Acknowledge your Feelings

Don’t try to ignore the way you feel, as this can actually increase your anxiety. Instead, recognise and even embrace your scanxiety. This first step empowers you to take action, move forward and manage your emotions, helping you find peace and feel more in control of your own life.

Talk about It to the Right People

Venting your fears and frustrations to people close to you can be a wonderful way to release stress and gain vital support. However, if you have folks in your life who tend to exacerbate your worries or load you up with even more concerns (and really, who doesn’t have that one friend or family member?), avoid sharing too much with them.

Practice Mindful Living

Ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said, “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” Look for ways to live in the moment. Hug your little boy and inhale deeply, noting the mingled fragrance of fresh earth and shampoo. Stroke your husband’s face and think about the way his soft stubble brushes your hand. Savour a particularly flavourful meal. Relish in the here and now.

Distract Yourself

Find ways to take your mind off the upcoming scan, at least for a while. Dig into a novel or binge watch a series that completely engrosses you. Turn up your favourite music and tackle a chore you’ve been putting off for too long. Hang out with that one friend who has a gift for making you guffaw. Schedule some time to enjoy your favourite hobby without interruption. If you have trouble letting go, imagine setting your worries in a “to do later” box and tell yourself you can pick them up when you’re done.

Ask Questions

Sometimes, the unknown is the greatest instigator of anxiety. If you are unclear about anything –from what to expect during the scan, to when and how you can expect to receive your results, to what those results might mean– don’t be afraid to ask your doctor. Having a well-defined understanding of what you will or might experience allows you to be better prepared and can even ease your mind.

Plan for the Worst Outcome…

Along with knowing what could possibly come of your scan, creating a strategy for the worst case scenario can improve your sense of control. By no means should this be perceived as giving up or being resigning yourself to bad news. Cancer can make you feel powerless, but creating a basic action plan just in case can help  you regain your power as well as your optimism.

…but Visualise the Best

Your mind is more powerful than you might realise. Visualisation and guided imagery have been shown to improve your mood, control symptoms or side effects and even boost your immune system. Imagine yourself receiving great news after your scan. Allow yourself to experience the feelings of relief, gratitude and elation. Think about these things as though you are remembering them. Seeing it in your mind’s eye can give you the encouragement you need to overcome your scanxiety.

Did your daughter have a good show?  My passion is knitting and believe there were yarn stands in Birmingham.

I love the Practice Mindful Living, at times it's easy to forget, but is such a good way to try and be.

Hi Sara13, yes she did have a very successful show with some new ranges coming on stream, I had a message first to say they were starting back up the road - its a long drive (8-9 hours) but they should be home late afternoon/early evening.

She says that she stuck to her budget ;) but has set up her new stock range for the rest of the year and yes, she put in her Christmas orders.

I will catch up with her tomorrow morning as I go out to the studio once a week and cut felt for a few hours. I find it very therapeutic and good exercise for my neck where I have been left with nerve damage.

Will take granddaughter home for the rest of the day to let daughter catch up on her weekend orders and they will come over for dinner then take her home.

Had to start my emergency antibiotics on Friday as the cough was developing - looks like I stoped it developing.

We all have to find the best way to calm the mind down and stop it from overthinking..... I read a lot, love classical music and play my guitar, so lots to fill 'those' moments where you can go down dark tunnels.

A couple of pictures of last weeks work and my little helper 

Thehighlander glad she had both a safe journey and a good show. CSI Stitches is one I sometimes go to, but even if I'd wanted to Sun and yesterday I couldn't have got there due to flooding. (Poor Tenbury) Animal sitting today. 

Still tired underlying, but generally slightly better at last, perhaps because its only rain showers now, and we didn't get flooded in the house. Went through the stables and yard, waterfall over the retaining wall, the joys of living on the side of a hill!!

Hope your cough improves. I might try reading again, found I have been unable to this last year, am normally a bookworm. Stay dry.

It's incredible to think about stocking up for Christmas!!

Oh my goodness such a long drive!

I dream of being able to have my own studio and design and knit all day.

My current read is the Shetland series written by Ann Cleeves.  I have never read a book that has either been a film or TV series before.  Oh my goodnes it is such a page turner!!

My partner was off work for a week with a chest infection as as she works on the Cancer ward the doctor signed her off work.  I do hope yours does not develop.

The South has had it far worse than us...... the sun is out and it’s a good looking day today.

In the early days I found my fatigue improves as the weather improved..... so that was when I rediscovered books. During my treatment I could not concentrate to read, but it was good to send me to sleep

I do a book a week. We have a very good library service so we go in past Tesco and take photos of the new book then order them online through our Highland Library Services...... saved a lot of money as well.

Having animals and bad weather is relentless and they have to be looked after regardless the weather.

I am so sorry to see the flooding that is going on it is so heart breaking. The area we live is outside Inverness - just below Culloden Battle Field.

10 years back our whole streets was flooded - so 30 houses were wrecked but next door and our house was not touched !!

The area above was heavily developed with 1000 houses 15 years back......now there is nowhere for the water coming off Culloden Moor to drain away..... total man made problem with us.

Chest is clearing up so made a good decision taking the meds.

Stay safe.....and dry.

The Shetland Series is great...... I worked up in Shetland years ago - what a beautiful place it is.

A cancer ward and chest infections do not mix that well....... the past three winters I have had at least a week or so NHS DB&B with Chest Infections, Lung Fungal Infections, the RSV Virus, Pneumonia x2 and Sepsis x2...... the joys of a reduced immune system...... but so far so good for this Winter