I wasn't sure where to turn for someone to understand.
I had Breast Cancer last summer and had a Lumpectamy and Radiotherapy all of which was over by end of October.
To me it was really just a blur and coincided with coming out of a domestically abusive relationship so it did not really register.
I am now receiving counselling for the relationship as that still affects me.
Life was starting to get back to normal until yesturday when I was told that my sister also has Breast Cancer and even though it is Stage 1 has to have a masectomy and chemo.
My feelings of guilt that she is having to go through so much worse than me is overwhelming.
Hi again Sara Sara13 me again x
So sorry to hear about your sisters diagnosis but it looks like it has been caught early so lets look for a positive outcome.
Guilt!!....... I don't think your sister will be thinking "...... look at Sara, she got off lighter then me" I would think that she will be encouraged and this is your opportunity to 'pay back' all the support you have been receiving and I would be safe to say that you found the Community one of your lifelines so loom for routes that you can support and bless her.
Lots of cancer survivors have to deal with 'Survivors Guilt'....... the guilt of having a less evasive treatment journey......the guilt of living, the guilt of moving on past treatments.
About 3 years back (1 year after my last treatments) I was stuck down very badly with survivors guilt.
This was before I found the Mac Community but my very astute Heamatology Specialist Nurse Consultant noticed I was not as 'bright' as would normally be at our regular clinics.
After a short discussion we unpacked that I had just been told that a two very good friends had been diagnosed with bad cancer....... I say bad as there was not much that could be done apart from a couple of miracles.
She said "go talk to them, you know exactly where they are at as you were told that you were 50/50 if you would get to this day - they would totally appreciate me being proactive"
So I got the lads together around a coffee and we talked long and openly...... "you are our inspiration" I was told!!. Initially that was hard to work out but what they were actually saying was "we all keep going until we can't"
We meet a good number of times over the following months but we could see that the two lads were not going to make it so we made a very clear agreement...... 'The last person standing was to live a full life that was a tribute to the others' and I have done this in so many ways.
But is was a big burden on my shoulders and even more so once they both passed......'Survivors Guilt' kicked in big time....... but after some great support at my local Maggie’s Centre we were able to unpack all the emotions and went on to honour the agreement made.
Don't look at this being a negative situation but look at how you can make a difference, you are now on the other side of the emotional rollercoaster so looking into the best ways to support her is important.
An you may use the Breast Cancer Group to understand what she will be going through and agin ask your questions ((hugs))
