Where do we belong??

Hi Red Mother,

Jen and I found that the laser-like attention Jen received during treatment, meeting with cohorts of specialists and (perhaps especially) carers, all suddenly (for the most part) dropping off the radar at treatment end left a definite hole in our lives.

The cancer eclipsed everything - even, to my continual rage, the death of my father - and then suddenly we were left blinking in the sunlight almost totally alone. At least, as far as medical attention is concerned. Maybe the 'missing thing' is similar to what we felt?

Nothing prepared us for the journey and it's been a process of discovery from start to finish. If it ever does finish.

Jen's oncologist suggested we 'live the hell out of life' so we've been doing our damnedest to make that happen. We've made massive as well as tiny changes in our lives and we try our best to appreciate every day no matter how mundane. There's always beauty and inspiration to be found if we care to look for it.

As to what group you should be in, I'm still subbed to several breast cancer groups because I like to think I can offer a little insight from time to time.

And I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel satisfaction from sharing the things I've learned and finding out it helped, even if a little. After all, no single drop feels responsible for the flood.

In fact, seeing the people in these groups is a constant source of inspiration for me personally. I mean, I've seen people 6 weeks into diagnosis and treatment giving people advice who've literally just started the journey and it blows my mind that people can be so selfless. I strive to be a better person as a result of interacting with people like that, even passively.

So, it may be there's value in you staying in previous groups *and* branching out into others?

In short, you belong wherever you feel you belong. Whether it's helping you or helping others, it's a win.

Hope this helps, even if it's a little.

Dom. x