Blimey, i’ll Try and make this as short as I can so as not to bore you. I’ve always suffered from depression and anxiety but with medication have powered through. Three years ago I was diagnosed with bowel cancer. It had finally happened, my worst fear was facing me. Cancer. The one thing that I’d feared all of my life and now I was faced with it. I don’t know what happened that day but something inside me clicked. I had the tumour removed, my bowel split open, was rushed back into theatre, had a stoma bag put in place and ended up with blood poisoning. 6 weeks in hospital recovering and went down to 5 and half stone. 6 months chemo, it then spread to ovaries, complete hysterectomy, it then spread to lymph nodes, 6 more months of chemo. I then had a ten hour op to reverse bag and remove abdominal lining. In September 2018 I was given the all clear and have been for 9 months. But do you know what, even though this was the one biggest fear for all my life, I smashed it out the park and did all of it with a smile on my face. Until 6 weeks ago I plummeted into the depths of depression. Out of nowhere my antidepressants stopped working, my anxiety has shot through the roof and instead of celebrating life to its fullest I just wait every 3 months for that next scan, for them to tell me the cancers back, that this time there be nothing they can do. I’ve lost all my strength I once had and have become a former shadow of myself. I feel like even though I beat the cancer, it won anyway.
