My storey

I retired from work at the end of January 2020 and the 26th of February 2020 I was diagnosed with AML leukaemia I had no symptoms I had an ear infection and Had been to the doctors who gave me antibiotics and then just happened to say oh We haven’t done  a blood test in seven years I think I’ll just book one in for you.

On the 27th of February I was admitted to Hartlands  Hospital Birmingham and on the 28th of February started chemotherapy my mind was racing I had no time to process anything as what I had was fast acting, I kept thinking I’ve only just retired I was 54 And had worked hard so that I could retire young and enjoy life, so how is this possible, I’ve never smoked, I jog, I eat healthily, I’ve never been ill or on any medication so how is this possible! 

I lived with my ex partner for 27 years and looked after him because he had diabetes, one of the reasons I retired was to concentrate on giving him a better life, we have a house in France and we went there four or five times a year but  I just wanted to make things even better… anywayI received a phone call on the 14th of April 2019 to say that my companion Steve was found unconscious at home …he’d fallen into a diabetic coma and sadly passed away that evening, The devastation was unbearable I used to go into the little bathroom in my room and cry and scream into the towel so as to stifle my pain, it was the only way I could grieve to try to get through it,  the weeks went by and I had the chemotherapy and things went relatively well,  I had to have a stem cell transplant as it was the only way of overcoming the leukaemia.

I’m now coming up to a year since having the stem cell transplant and they are more than happy with the way things have gone and I consider myself extremely lucky, except I  find that I just exist now,no one really understands.

I’m doing well in respect of exercising and getting some form of life back when in reality leukaemia has taken my plans for the future but more importantly my companion Steve, Who I know would have been alive if I hadn’t been in hospital having chemotherapy, this along with the aftermath of the leukaemia it’s hard to deal with this is the first time I’ve done anything about it and I’m sorry if I’ve taken up a lot of time with this Story as I know people Have got things so much more worse than I have I’m really doing it to try to help myself to heal. 

  • My heart goes out to you, you have been such a strong person caring for someone and trying to make life better  so now is the time to try and draw from your strength again. this time its for you, and just you,  because you deserve it. I hope you find the strength and courage to begin a new Adventure and learn to enjoy life again. I have had some tough times and my recent cancer diagnosis floored me. my surgery was successful but the chemo made me really ill, I only had one session and declined any more, and I am now clawing my way back, I refuse to be beaten.  Sending you Hugs, Onwards and Upwards, it's the only way to go. Good Luck and take care of yourself.

  • Thanks for telling us your story. Like you I'd always looked after myself, never smoked, exercised, ate well. So, when I was very suddenly diagnosed with double-hit lymphoma last October at the age of 40, it was a huge blow. Though I try to be objective about it, I still often have feelings of "why me?". I'm still going through treatment and though it seems to be working, it's very difficult knowing that all the plans for the future are in ruins.

    I've had a diabetic partner in the past and I remember always worrying when I had to leave him alone. I can imagine your torture at the thought that Steve would still be alive had all this not happened and that you'd been there to care for him. 

    You've been through so much, thanks for talking about it. It helps me to hear that the treatment is working for you and that, despite everything, you're starting to get your life back. I hope that sharing has helped you heal a little. Hugs.

  • Thank you so much for your message, it really means a lot, I pray things go well for us both, take care x 

  • Aeolai 

    thank you for your message, It really means a lot, I feel that I shouldn’t mope around as so many people are still going through this nightmare and my heart goes out to you, I hope things go well for you and you are able to resume your life, even though my life is empty at the moment I hope that some day the sun will shine on my face and I can smile again, if you can and want to please let me know how you get on (hugs)