Oh Peaceful, I wish I had the words to take away the emotional pain you are still feeling. Grieving is a journey in itself but this phase and these feelings and emotions will ease in time.
I guess everyone has moments of "what if" and "if only" but all any of us can do is make the best decision at the time for the right reasons. We can't beat ourselves up about them afterwards. We do our best and that's all any of us can do.
I'm sure your partner wouldn't want you to be feeling this way. I'm confident that they knew you loved them and would never fail them. You have to trust in that love.
Have you spoken to anyone about how your are feeling? It might be worth a chat with your GP about some grief counselling. Please remember that we are here to help and support you too so please remember you can call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week
sending you a huge virtual hug, love and light.
Love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2025 © Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 3rd Floor, Bronze Building, The Forge, 105 Sumner Street, London, SE1 9HZ. VAT no: 668265007