Husbands Colostomy surgery on Wednesday

HI Budge,

Welcome. What an anxious time this will be for your husband and you. The surgery that your husband is about to have is major surgery - my own surgery was around 9 hours. (Mind you, to me it felt like a minute!!). I went into hospital quite fit, but when I came out about 10 days later, I had to be wheeled to the door, helped into and out of the car and needed a lot of care at home too. But it is major surgery, and sometimes it's hard to remember that! I'm sure that once your husband has had his surgery, he'll start to make his recovery - slowly but surely. I knew before my surgery I was going to have a permanent colostomy, and was able to prepare for that mentally, but it's not until after the surgery you have to find your feet and adjust. I will always remember just after my surgery and I had been taken to the HDU, and looking out of the window to see the sunset, and I thought to myself that I was now cancer-free. I can't explain what I felt, but for me it just seemed to be a new beginning and I never looked back. 

There will be good days and bad days, but hopefully it won't be long before the good days outnumber those bad days. There will be practical things to think about when your husband comes home - I found that I had a short attention span, but that disappeared over time. I was very tired and spent a lot of time sleeping. Try and keep occupied - get into a routine, even a simple one. I never stayed in my bed or my jim-jams, but always got up and dressed. As each day goes by things will get easier, but don't be afraid to seek medical help if you need to. 

Hope it all goes well for your husband. If there's anything in particular you want to ask here, just ask - there are loads of folks around who can offer all kinds of tips and advice. 

Linda :-)

Hi Linda

Thanks so much for sharing your experience, it does help. I can understand your response to seeing that sunset and that you were cancer free. That’s wonderful, I’m so sincerely happy for you

Hopefully I’ll hear the same words from his surgeon. He’s generally a very positive person, loves his golf but he hasn’t much patience, he’ll find it hard to be inactive.  I think in time, if it’s permanent, he’ll adjust, but he thinks he’ll be ok in a month, I’m very doubtful, time will tell.

 I will plan to have some kind of routine when he’s home but I’ve no idea how long he’ll be in. I’m presently buying protective mattress covers and extra bedding just in case, although I’ve read you can also  buy protective mattress pads or order from the colostomy bag supplier.

I’m looking for suggestions of suitable recipes or foods that he’ll be able to eat. 

Many thanks, Budge

HI budge13

Just thought I'd add a little bit to the response from Linda.

Having a stoma is no great deal and is better that the alternative, I was reading part of Farah Fawcett Major's biography (she was the original Jill Munro in Charlie's Angels) she developed Anal Cancer and for 3 years refused to have a colostomy and found her alternative.

Anyway back to your post and disposable bed pads you are correct many of the stoma supply companies do in fact give them "complimentary" but you do have to ask for them, I get a pack of 30 each month with my monthly order.

Many of the suppliers also give "complimentary" waterproof mattress protectors but again you do have to ask for it.

My supplier let's me have 1 washable bed protector each year.

Something that you might consider buying is a Brolly Sheets Double Mattress Protector Blue Brolly sheet comes in other colours, this is runner that goes the full width of the bed and has quite a good depth, its washable and does save stripping the bed every time an accident occurs.

As I think I've mentioned a number of times previously "Dispensing Appliance Contractors" your stoma supply company have lots of complimentary items to give away but you do have to ask for them, it is worth building a good relationship with your supplier.

With regard to your request for some suitable menus for hubby to eat on theory in a few weeks he should be eating normally albeit smaller portions and with few exceptions from the Green Grocer - have you not got a list of Foods to have, foods to avoid, Foods that cause wind, Foods that cause diarrhoea/constipation - if you don't, let me know and I'll send a link over to you.

Some recipes to download

Ostomates Kitchen 

As far as having a routine it will be exactly the same as now, eating, plenty of fluids, gentle exercise except no heavy lifting (½ a kettle of water is the gauge as to how much he can lift, but he should always remember to chew his food at least 30 times and for tough or stringy food then it's at least 40 times, drink before a meal, drink after a meal but don't during it. Fluids 8 - 10 cups per day or at least 1½ litres which can be plain water, or made into squash, tea, coffee, soups etc. but keeping beer, lager, wine or other alcoholic drinks to a minimum, doesn't need to stop just have the odd glass now and then but I'm not suggesting the size of glass to him!

Message from me to hubby, he should own his stoma, it does not own him and it should not interfere with him carrying on the lifestyle he had before, play Golf, Football  Rugby, have a demanding job, being a husband and the list of Can do goes on  the only thing I can't promise he'll be able to is play the piano if didn't play before his surgery.

Need anymore help or advice on anything stoma related (Yes, I did say on ANYTHING) the names The BODACH, give me a shout out at anytime if something/anything is puzzling you and I'll be right back at you.

Good luck to hubby with the surgery, his recovery and his future Living with a stoma.

Best wishes

Ian

By clicking on any of the green text above will open up new pages for you.

Hi budge13. You’ve had 2 brilliant replies so far so I’ve not a lot to add. I found a couple of cushions in the car - 1 to sit in and 1 between my scar and seatbelt helped in the early days. Have you seen any of the posts from ? Her dad had a similar operation and is back playing golf now and going on holiday.

Hope the op goes well

Take care

Karen x

Hi Budge 13

Yeah my Dad went through a very similar operation, he was playing golf up until the day before he went in for his surgery, My Dads operation left him with 2 bags which he wasn’t happy with but you know he’s got in fine with them fine and he has been back playing golf since around Christmas time and he had his op in September, he’s doing really well obviously you have a few accidents here and there but you can live a normal life again and still do the things you did before and the main thing is you are still here.
I’m sure your husband will be fine and after a few months of getting used to it he will find it easy to manage. Any questions just ask. 
When is your husband’s operation? Danni x

Hi Ian 

Thanks so much for the comprehensive list of advice. I’ll wait to contact his supplier when his stoma nurse gives me contact details etc, hopefully I’ll get a few complimentary items. I plan on ordering some brolly sheets shortly, so thanks for the link. 

Actually, we didn’t get a list of what not to eat, we were just told not to eat vegetables or fruit, apart from a little apple purée, so a link would be great. I’ll read the recipes and ostomates kitchen asap.

 I have read all your message to him, I try to encourage him to talk on this forum to people like yourself but it’s not his thing, but hopefully in time, it would be good for him, I know it’s helped me. He’s very focused and see’s this as the next step, I wish I could be so pragmatic. 

I’ll look forward to us sharing a glass of wine as soon as he’s able.

Finally, I do remember Farah Fawcett Major, I didn’t know why she passed away, how very tragic.

Thanks again for all your good advice and wishes, I’m sure I’ll be bothering you again soon.

Budge

Hi Karen, thanks for getting in touch. The cushion thing is a great idea we’ll certainly use it. 

Hubby is quite calm, it’s me who’s struggling but I’m keeping busy, my inside windows have never been so clean, as soon as I start to wobble, I get busy, I’m sure I’ll be better when surgery is behind him, I just want the b....... thing in the bin, crossing fingers or anything I can.

Yes, dankel82 has been in touch, I’ll be replying asap.

Thanks again, Budge

Hi Karen, thanks for getting in touch. The cushion thing is a great idea we’ll certainly use it. 

Hubby is quite calm, it’s me who’s struggling but I’m keeping busy, my inside windows have never been so clean, as soon as I start to wobble, I get busy, I’m sure I’ll be better when surgery is behind him, I just want the b....... thing in the bin, crossing fingers or anything I can.

Yes, dankel82 has been in touch, I’ll be replying asap.

Thanks again, Budge

Hi Danni, thanks for getting in touch. It’s very reassuring to hear that your Dad is so well and enjoying his golf, I’ve told my husband, hopefully we’re as lucky.

His surgery is tomorrow, we’ve to be there by 7:30. I’m trying hard not to be tearful but it’ll be hard when I leave him. But the house will be so clean and tidy as I’ll keep busy until I get the phone call after surgery.

I’m going to watch some rubbish on Netflix tonight and try to forget what’s coming.

Thanks again, Budge 

Hi Budge,

My surgery was on a Wednesday too, and it was open surgery. I was back on the HDU ward just after 6.30pm that night, and had visitors at 7pm. Apparently I was as chirpy as a wee bird!! The next morning I got the shock of my life.... I had a bed bath!! The nurses wanted me all sorted out for the surgeon's visit. On the Friday morning I was up out of my bed and walking around with a lot of help. Slowly but surely the drips all disappeared one by one. But you will get a bit of a shock when you see your husband hooked up with tubes here there and everywhere. It will be worse than it looks, but just remember he's now on the road to full recovery. 

I have to disagree with Ian about what to eat. Everyone is different and you need to find your own way with foods. You learn how different foods affect you, and if something doesn't agree once, try it a few more times just to be sure. Seven years on and I have to plan when to have baked beans!!! (Usually when I know I've got a good few days off work and nothing planned!). I loved Bounty Bars, but now the coconut often causes me problems so I avoid those altogether. But as I said, we're all different. 

Please don't think that having a stoma is going to be hard-going. Of course there will be leakages, but in the early days it's a big learning curve. Always remember that the stoma nurses are there to help you, so don't be frightened to contact them if you need to.

This time tomorrow night you will be sitting with your husband, and can start his recovery - small steps at a time.

Hope all goes well - keep in touch.

Linda x :-)