surgery and after

Please don’t be scared of life with a stoma bag.  My husband had his operation to remove his colon just over a year ago and now loves his life to the full.   He can almost forget about his bag and it certainly doesn’t stop,him doing anything.   You should get lots of support from your stoma nurse who will help you and answer any questions you may have.    We also joined a local group for support and you might find that he,foul if you have one near you,   Good luck with your operation, I hope it all goes well for you.

Wish I could edit........he lives his life to the full.       And.....helpful if you have one near you.  

Hi acer,

I know it's such a daunting prospect as your surgery approaches, but please don't be scared of your future life with a stoma. You will probably be able to do everything that you do now, and you will also probably be able to eat what you do now. Of course it will be a big learning curve, but you will adapt! 

If you have any questions, just ask. Your stoma nurses will be a great help to you, and we will also help and support you as you need. But please don't think you won't have a normal life.... because you WILL! It might be a bit different, but it will be your new normal!!!

Linda :-) 

Hi and welcome to our little corner of the online community and as you've probably guessed this is the club that no one wants to be a part of but here we are living a normal life.

I'm Ian and I'm The Bodach and I live with a st●ma.

It is very scaring when we hear the words "after your surgery you will have a bag to poo in" but when we get over the shock we realise if we didn't have the surgery and didn't have a bag what's the alternative.

Like the rest of us your bag will give you a future and you will have a life and that life will allow you to do nearly everything you are able to do now and probably more.

So what you have a bag to poo in, but it's up to you who knows about it and who you tell but you will have a life.

I think the way for you to go is to tell me why you don't think you'll have a future or be able to live with a stoma and we'll discuss all the scenarios and find solutions.

So please come back to me I'm here to help, to answer any questions you have, advise you on the supplies you'll need and what they are used for, find solutions if you experience any problems, discuss with you clothing and what to wear and how you go about your daily life. In fact anything you need to know The Bodach is your man to come to anytime, my door is always open and you don't have to knock come on in and let's discuss being an ostomate.

I like to suggest a game for new ostomates to play and it's called SPOT THE PERSON WEARING A STOMA POUCH and no matter where you are (except maybe in the stoma clinic) I can almost guarantee you won't pick one out in the street, the supermarket, the restaurant, the cinema because we look just like everyone else, correction they look just like us.

I believe that I own my stoma he doesn't own me, he doesn't stop me doing what I want to do when I want to do it and if you accept your stoma you will probably experience a better quality of life.

No matter how small you think you question is please ask me I will always give you an honest answer and never think it silly.

Please let me help you to help you to regain your future life, a life which has no boundaries.

Ian The Bodach is online to help YOU live with a st●ma..

Ian

Need to know about supplies, suppliers, problems, clothing, diet, travelling, work etc and not forgetting what goes on behind closed doors - don't hesitate ask the Bodach as he lives daily with a st●ma.

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Need more help ask the Bodach.

Ian

I suppose its the vanity side, the intimacy stuff, and the actual dealing with it as in changing it. I didn't know whether to watch online videos , did a lot of googling about colonoscopy before I had it and to be honest what I read were horror stories which scared me , and then found the reality really wasn't that awful....night before sucked!..i suppose its the unknown,....just feeling a bit lost.

The Bodach .......Thank you very much.

Hi

I admit I did watch a couple of utube clips before having my surgery and it gave me a good idea of what to expect but I found the information given to me by my stoma nurse at my pre-op was equally helpful and also the help on here.

As you say these things are often a lot better in reality and you’ll find that you’ll quickly get into a routine of emptying and changing your bag. I used to change it first thing in a morning over the bathroom sink, have everything set out on the window sill and toilet seat and could be clean and changed in a matter of minutes. 

Ian aka is our go to expert on all things stoma and he’ll be able to point you in the right direction of things like support underwear which have little pockets in to hold the bag which makes it feel very secure and hidden. 

Apologies because I don’t know if you’re male or female but either way intimacy should not be an issue. I had a wrap which was like a stretchy piece of material worn round the hips which supported the bag during the night but still allowed for intimate moments. The booklets given to me by the stoma nurses also suggested emptying the bag then folding it up quite small and sticking it to your tummy with some form of tape - didn’t try that one so can’t comment! 

The unknown is always worrying but the nurses will make sure you’re comfortable with changing your bag before you leave hospital and, if one type of bag doesn’t suit, then there are loads of others to try.

I became friendly with a lady who had surgery at a similar time to me and she has a permanent bag and you’d never know. She goes out running, has just moved house and went to New York last year. 

Please let us know how you’re getting on - there is no question too daft or embarrassing!

Take care

Karen x

ta… firstly a woman!! so I suppose a vanity thing!! seeing surgeon on Friday for " CHAT"...so I suppose I take my steps from there.i will probably be on this forum a lot soon

As in life you will always hear the horror stories about having a stoma but very rarely will you hear the plus side to being an ostomate but along with the many members in this group I can testify with hand on heart that having a stoma does have a plus side and you'll find everyone of them, there is absolutely no reason for you not being able to doing the things you like doing now and probably a lot more.

None of us like changing our pouches but once you get into a routine and being able to figure out the best time it'll be as easy boiling a kettle but I do have to be honest occasionally you'll experience a bad change but if you roll your sleeves up it'll soon be done and you can it put it behind you, you'll have many more good changes that bad ones.

Getting into a routine for changing is important and my suggestion is that you should assemble everything you need to change in the order you will use them.

Disposable bag, dry wipes, adhesive remover spray, warm water, barrier film wipes, (washers/seals and paste if you need them), cut pouch and flange extenders if you need them. When you have finished all the waste will be in the disposable bag ready to be placed in your domestic rubbish bin and all unused items put back in your storage bag.

Everything should be to hand before you start.

Now to your vanity moment or behind the door activities take this from a male there is nothing like the feel of a silky piece of female underwear next to a man's skin whether it be a wrap which could be a scarf or a tee shirt and we can give you endless suggestions on where to get items that will reduce your inhibitions.

On another forum I used to contribute to one lady told the world "if her man thinks he's got a chance he'll go for it no matter what she's wearing".

Experimentation adds to the fun and pleasure but if you have any doubts do have a frank chat with your man, but remember above.

Please try not to worry about it all too much we are all here to help you and pass on our tips based on our own experiences that you can adapt to suit you. There is not a right or wrong way to being an ostomate, everything we do is trial and error and you will be a true multitasker from now on.

If you need to ask something just ask even if you think it silly or daft, there is only one silly/ daft question and that's the one you don't ask.

I am here for you from now one and you can ask me anything, you won't make me blush, bombard me with questions at any time and don't be surprised if I answer you in the wee sma' hours.

Once you're settled let me know the name of your supplier and I will let you know what additional extra complimentary items you can get from them.

As I write this I see that someone has created a thread on medical exemption certificates and I hope you have yours in place.

One little question for you - after your stoma care nurse who is available to help,support and advise you 7 days a week.

Need a clue the answers the B..a.h

Keep in touch and good luck and remember you own your stoma it does not own you.

Ian