I am a Christian and grew up in Pentecostal circles. My parents were ministers so naturally I married one too and had 2 beautiful children (19 and 11) unfortunately the marriage was troubled from the beginning and though we tried to hold on, in the end we couldn’t continue destroying each other. I have been raising my girls as a single parent for the last 11 years. And for the most part I have been very angry with life and with God because the last 11 years have felt like hell on earth. I have struggled with keeping my faith and hope because you know, how can God watch me and the kids suffer and be ok with it? So whilst I was a very active Christian I have slowly walked away from it all. When covid hit and everything shut down I was relieved. I have not been back to church simce covid.
Fast forward to 2023 I was staring to feel ok in myself again and had some desire to walk back to God, start going to church again etc, but I just couldn’t find the motivation. I kept telling myself I will try again next week. Then in October my life fell apart yet again, just when I was starting to breathe again, I was diagnosed with breast cancer! I am once again feeling angry with God. So I not deserve a break from life’s struggles? If not me then at least my innocent kids. Whilst I have tried to shield them from the pain and trauma that comes along with a family break up, the reality is that they have experienced pain and sadness and now they have to deal with the fear of losing the only parent who has been there for them? How does God let this happen? How can I find my way back when I am feeling like this? I don’t know the point of this post really but this is the first time in a little over a decade that I have said (well written my thoughts ) out loud.
Hi Ruva and welcome to our little corner of the community and well done putting your thought down in here.
Honestly at times we can’t fully understand how life pans out….. and why we have to navigate the many challenges that life throws at us.
Faith is being able to trust in God.. regardless of what is thrown at us…… if we knew the full picture what life would be like where would Faith come into the equation?
I have been a Christen for over 52 years when I became a Christian when I was 16 working as an apprentice joiner… I had no Church connections whatsoever but walking the beach where I lived and looking round at the trees at the back of the beach thus simple thought “windows don’t grow on trees….. they need a craftsman to make them”….. put me on a search for the answer and found it in Jesus…… not necessarily Church but the Church people.
I was diagnosed way back in 1999 (our 2 girls were 14 and 19 at the time) with a very rare incurable type of Non Hodgkins Lymphoma……. and followed some rather demanding treatment years (See my story) and although I looked at death on a number of occasions our Faith not only got us as a family through the challenges…… but I would say consolidated our Faith.
I have often thought why me?…… but I then remind myself why not me……. rather then my wife….. my children or our 4 granddaughters.
The closer you get back to Jesus the better you will get to understand that we are not in control of everything that happens to us or what happens around us…… but we do understand better that God is with us….. but we do have to acknowledge him and trust fully in him.
Always around to chat.
Hi again Ruva ….. we have to try and escape the control that our circumstances and indeed the battle between the ears can have on us.
One of our wonderful ladies (friend) was talking at Church yesterday, She has not had cancer but in my mind the journey she has been on both family and business wise over the past 4 years can in many was be as hard as the journey I have been on over my 24 years.
These are the simple notes I took from her talk ((hugs))
Perseverance
We are not the only one going through stuff……. there are definitely others in the same position.
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, a whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Build up our Faith Muscles…… true grit to push through and overcome.
…… during all the challenges - hold your peace…….. as there is only reward for those who push through.
Rewards - Just Ahead
Fight for what you want…… it’s yours and if it’s in God’s plan…… So walk in the Spirit and in doing this we will hear God’s heart and will see what we actually need…… not just what I want!!!!!!
Some times we need to start moving….. we don’t need to wait for all the detail before we move or do.
Who are the cheer leaders?
Hi process yes it’s tricky to get to the group as the changes on the site has removed it from Bering visible in our joined groups….. but I will keep pushing the community team to find a fix.
Raster blessings to you as well.
