Been praying alot and talking to the big man but today I'm feeling scared and alone and it doesn't seem to want to go away.. I cant seem to get my head around any of it to be honest..
Hi Brandie Frazzled …… I sort of missed the morning so good afternoon.
I see that you have been posting around the various groups….. this is a good way to unpack the invisible ruck-sack put on our backs at diagnosis.
As the days and weeks go in especially waiting for results and a treatment plan you are unknowingly throwing stuff into the ruck-sack…… and this stuff will build up so the weight of the ‘stuff’ we have collected in the ruck-sack starts pulling us down…. stuff like pent-up anxiety and stress, the ‘what if’s’, the difficulty in seeing a way forward with life……
Posting on these groups will help but you may need to try and ‘talk’ things through with someone. It could be a family members, a good (Church) friend, check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
You may want to use the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provide cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
The very important thing is you are not also….. you have a Faith and this is important so do lean into that supporting hands ((hugs))
Try and see the waiting as being a very important part of the journey as the ‘system’ is doing it’s thing to get you a clear diagnosis. I have had 24 years of this sometimes waiting went into months.
In the early days I sat with my great CNS (Cancer Nurse Specialist) and she was very honest “Mike, you can stress and fret as much as you want when you are coming up to scan/results times but the reality is you can throw all the stress and anxiety in the world at this and it won’t make any difference to the outcomes but the one certainty is - stress does make you ill…… control the battle between the ears and only worry when you are told there is something to worry about”….. and she has been spot on over all these years.
Find someone and talk with them as this helps to stop the rucksack getting to heavy ((hugs)£
I don't know if you use any daily reading plans?
I have used many different ones over my 50 years on the Christian path but the one I have been using since just before covid kicked off is an app called Lectio 365….. Many times over the 3+ years it has talked straight to issues that I was dealing with.
I was looking back at todays and this jumped out at me and may well help you search for the father in the midst of the noise ((hugs))
Hi, I haven't been on our little family group page for a good while now. I can totally understand your fears and at the same time, even though it can be such a challenge, you are already doing the wisest thing and that's talking to our glorious Father. I also certainly agree with all that Mike has shared. Sending love and encouraging you to look to Jesus and surrender those worries to Him, focus on one day at a time and He will be with you every step of the way 
I was reading your post in The Room....... about your regrets that you have smoked in the past.
The past is in the past and you put your energies and focus on dealing with what is yet to come.
I also have asbestosis, this was the result of working with the material many years ago. there is nothing I can do to change this and my lungs are permanently damaged but I am ever so thankful that I can live with the damage.
Keep holding on the His hand and keep talking to Him and to us ((hugs))
Good morning Frazzled ...... I was sitting contemplating this morning before I a busy day kicks off and that you may find these screen captures from my study plan helpful to think over during the day.
What was said and done many years ago still ring true today ((hugs))
