The NHS doesn't have pronouns, nor does it allow 'Mx' as a title

Hi Arlandria

I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing this and I can understand your frustration. 

it does seem that more training is needed for some NHS staff on the importance of using the preferred pronouns. 

My circumstances are different but I have had many cancer related appointments and for 90 % of them they call out my first name rather than the middle name that I am known as. I found it really frustrating to point it out each time, notes were made on my record but still they would use the first name during appointments. Even during chemo sessions where I was in all day- they would use the wrong name and eventually I gave up explaining! 

I wonder if it would be worth you contacting PALS at your hospital to share your experience and make the suggestions about further training. I will pop a link below. 

What is PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service)? - NHS

Jane

Hi Arlandria. I'm nonbinary myself and I was expecting to have to fight to get my NHS record updated to use Mx as my title, but I was surprised when my request went through with no questions asked. My prescriptions, appointment letters, and so on have all used my title correctly for a few years at this point now, and I haven't been challenged on it. I updated my title (along with my name) via my GP using a change of details paper form, and I think I was required to provide evidence of the use of my updated name (bank letter, utility bill etc) which also used my updated title. "The NHS" (as a whole) does not have any particular rules against the use of this title - however it's worth acknowledging that some trusts, or some practices/clinics and so on, may use software that doesn't allow for this. That said... I know "from the inside" (as a techie) however that much of the software used by the NHS does indeed support non-binary options, so I would be hesitant to believe any trust/clinic that says there is any kind of technical issue with respecting this request - instead making it entirely on a policy or code of practice issue that they are skirting around stating explicitly. The NHS is required to hold correct information on patients, and while titles are not legally binding (other than protected titles like Dr, Prof, etc), there is still precedent to argue that by refusing to refer to you by the title you are using lawfully in other places and "For All Intents" (as it is often written in legalese) you are living under that title that they are violating... something in their policies, somewhere. I can't speak more to that side of it all, but jane2511's suggestion of filing a PALS complaint is definitely a good place to start.

Pronouns have been an entirely different situation of course - some medical staff directly ask what they should use for me, others assume based on my updated name (defaulting mostly to he/him in this case, despite my name being uncommon), and others yet will use she/her (which I can only imagine is a decision made based on my sex, rather than being based on prior reports using those pronouns). This only began after I changed my title on my record, though, so there is a chance that if you are in any manner able to get your NHS record corrected then you may have more grounds to argue the use of they/them pronouns being used to refer to you. I do not actively use they/them, rather I prefer he/him or it/itself, but I can't pin my experiences on that alone when I'd say less than a third of staff even ask! When asked, I say that I "don't mind" s "it's probably least confusing if they make use of the pronouns used by the referral" (it only ever seems to be specialists that I'm referred to that ask...) Obviously I recognise that isn't a good solution for all of us however, and ideally I'd like to have my preferred pronouns respected without wrangling or pure luck based on a sexist assumption from name alone. Every time it does feel like I'm treading on eggshells when the question comes up, which makes me feel inclined to suggest they use whichever pronouns they saw being used for me rather than advocating for myself and ultimately contributes to the "pronoun soup" found in my medical records.

I hope you are able to get it resolved. Don't be afraid to kick up a stink about it either, I know it feels intimidating to try in the current climate we have, but courage is the driving force of change and all that. Best of luck to you and I wish you well