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Just recently diagnosed but wondered if any other same sex couples struggling with same worries etc.  

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

    Struggling with worries when a cancer diagnosis is involved is normal and I'm sure you'll be able to access help and support within this community. Could you perhaps let us know what brings you here.

    x

    Community Champion Badge

     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

  • Hi latchbrook

    thanks for your reply.  I have only recently been diagnosed and still early Days but my civil partner is struggling and just thought might be easier to chat to females in the same situation.  We have been together since 2007 and civil partners since 2011 so not short term!  I still feel that sometimes there is still prejudice and ‘I don’t mind that you are gay’ type mentality about.  I start my chemo next week and staying positive but Pancreatic cancer treatment is difficult and know it may not get the results to enable me to have surgery.  I see you have been through every treatment and fighting on, hope to just stay positive and get some quality time with my partner.  

  • Hi  

    I can understand you being concerned that your partner is struggling with your diagnosis. As you've seen in my profile I've had cancer twice and I think in some ways it's harder for my husband to deal with than me. I'm a very practical, just get on with it type of person so just concentrated on each aspect of my treatment as it happened. My husband though probably worried about my diagnosis as a whole.

    Something that you could do is encourage her to join the community too. A very supportive group for partners here is the carers only group. It's a safe and supportive place for her to post about her worries and concerns.

    I can see that you're getting lots of support in the pancreatic cancer group and I wish you all the best with your treatment.

    x

    Community Champion Badge

     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

  • I lost my civil partner last week, we had been together for 32 years. She was diagnosed in february and it came out of the blue. Just wanted to send you lots of love xxx

  • Hi  

    I am so very sorry to read that you have recently lost your partner and would like to offer my condolences.

    You are obviously a very caring and thoughtful person because not only have you reached out to Lancs Twin but I can see that you've also reached out to others on the community when your own grief must be so raw.

    If you'd like to get support from others who have lost their spouses or partners I can recommend the bereaved spouses and partners group. Clicking on the link I've created will take you there if you'd like to join.

    Sending virtual (((hugs)))

    Community Champion Badge

     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

  • Hi,

    Same sex married couple here, I was diagnosed in August 2020 and embarked on my journey. Hubby dealt with my diagnosis amazingly well. More than happy to chat and answer any questions if it will help you both in any way.

    Kind regards

    Phil

    • Sorry haven’t replied sooner but so sorry to hear of your loss.  It is not a good cancer to get as they don’t diagnose quickly enough.  My partner is struggling as I have now got diabetes and on insulin injections just had to go hospital last Thursday as bloods pre chemo showed up high sugar levels!  So now got added problem of injections etc and diet problems when I am supposed to eat all I can to keep weight on!  Thank you for your message, I hope you have lots of support around you and can help you as you must be heartbroken.  My partner is stressed out and tired out but don’t think my family understands how serious this is. I am having chemo for 6 cycles to try to get Whipple surgery but depends if tumour has shrunk that is on artery.  3 more cycles and will be checked but not sure if will be ok for op at all.  Got to stay positive but it’s not easy.  Hope you got lots of help to care for your your partner as you must have been shattered. X
  • Thank you your message,  it’s nice to hear that your hubby is coping well and you are managing ok.  Think it’s harder for partners really knowing that may not be able to prolong or cure the cancer.  Just trying to stay positive but pancreatic cancer is not an easy one as unless can get to Whipple surgery it’s not good prognosis at all.  

  • Thank you so much. It has been almost 6 weeks now and I cry every day and miss her so much. But I am feeling a little better each day and I am looking forward to better days that I know will come. I know just how your partner feels, she will be so worried about you but also dealing with her own emotions. I am so sorry for what you are both going through, but you are blessed to have each other. So many people travel this cruel journey alone. You sound like you are very close, and your combined strength will get you through this. You are right, its not easy to stay positive, and you must allow yourself to feel any negative emotions, there is nothing wrong with that. If you have a bad day, just say to yourself, ok today was crap, tomorrow will be better. Sending you both lots of love, always happy to chat if you need to xxx