New autistic and scared

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Pls be kind, this is all very new to me and frankly I’m petrified. I’m desperate to find other autistic womxn who are in or around their early 40s who can relate to this or similar (not that I know what similar looks like, I’m that new to this):

GP found lump.

Hospital did mammogram, ultrasound and physical examination; found enlarged lymph nodes in armpit.

Biopsy showed cancerous cells.

Now going through more tests; MRI, CT and bone scan.

Won’t know results for another couple of weeks.

I’m scared. I don’t know what to do or what to think. I’ve been told breast cancer can come or show in more than one form.

I’m late diagnosed autistic, I’ve not found a support group specifically designed for autistic (or neuro divergent people in general) and the big C yet. I’m pan and gender fluid though still discovering the rest of me. 

All I want to do is withdraw between tests. And the waiting is doing my head in: my patience jumped ship the moment the word cancerous was heard.

I was already trying to navigate burnout amid my other responsibilities - so I felt the weight of this news. The uncertainty of what’s to come is severely disrupting and impacting upon everything. I don’t have an autism support dog yet either.

Part of hating the wait is also being driven by the fear of whilst I wait, whatever it is, has the chance to spread. That’s not helpful at all. I’ve already got to the point that if it’s in the breast too, they can both go. Take whatever lymph nodes too.

If you are like me, pls respond.

  • Hi  

    It's natural to be scared at this stage but most people find that once they know what they're dealing with and have a treatment plan they feel more in control.

    I'm not an autistic woman in my 40s but I noticed that your post hadn't had any replies yet, although you have had replies to the same post that you've put up in other groups. Responding to you will 'bump' it back to the top of the discussion list.

    Wishing you well

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     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

  • Hi Lyta,  I am newly diagnosed stage 3 breast cancer and ASD. Also  in forties. Would love to chat. This is very new, not started chemo yet. I am hetero cis but a LGBTQ+ advocate, 

    Feel free to contact me