Dealing with wife’s diagnosis

FormerMember
FormerMember
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Hi all I’m a 64 year old trans woman in the very long process of transitioning. I’m a retired London Firefighter. My wife of 42 years is a retired NHS Manager and now works in Oxfam. She has just been diagnosed with breast cancer which has spread to her bones. This is all very new and raw. I have always been emotional but as I am in my second puberty, emotions are unpredictably, strong and hard to work out. Just thought I would give a brief hello and wonder if anyone else is out their in my position.
So far we have not told our two sons or other family and friends. It’s something my wife is dreading as seeing people upset is hard for her to deal with. I am afraid I was no use to her in that department. At the moment I feel lost and dazed, swinging from uncontrollable sadness to denial. people keep asking how are things and lie telling them yes everything’s OK while I want to scream out hold them and cry. 

  • Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community

    I'm very sorry to read that your wife has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer which has spread to her bones and I know what a difficult time this will be for you both.

    How you're both feeling right now is perfectly normal but most people find that once they know what the treatment plan is they feel more in control again.

    I haven't been in your position, as I was the one with cancer, but there are a lot of people in the carers group, which I can see that you've joined, who will understand exactly what you're going through. When you feel ready you might like to post there as well and I'm sure you'll get lots of support.

    Sending a virtual ((hug))

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