Telling the kids

FormerMember
FormerMember
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where to start with this?

I've stage 4 Esophageal cancer that's spread to the plural of my lung and my lymph nodes

Had 6 rounds of chemo which had a positive effect - surgery is not an option for me, so I'm well aware that's extending time - not fixing anything.

Also had targeted gene therapy as had the receptive gene - but this has not worked -so it's back to different Doxycycline Chemo - which i'm giving a low Tripadvisor score of.

The kids (17 and 15) know i have cancer, they DON'T know it's spread, and they DON'T know it's not going to get fixed.

This felt like the right middleground when I started the journey as my wife and I wrapped out heads around the diagnosis, treatment and strange new world and language we were moving into

As a family, we are not religious- so there is no "positive" spin I can put on where I'll be wirth "granny and Granpa etc" when it's done it's done - and I'm now not sure how to deliver this message

Do we carry on as is, and just let nature take it's course, it'll all become too self evident in the long run - or do we be completely up front with them now and watch them suffer the pain of realisation - they are going to get hurt either way, I don't want to prologue that any longer than is absolutely necessary.

i realise there is no right or wrong here - but i'm interested to see how other people have handled it with their own families -

I think the dog will be pretty upset when I tell him too, but I could be wrong there ....;-)

  • Hi Merlins, I'd spare them the technical details.  Spin something positive regardless, get creative.

    Yes let nature take its course.  Forget about what might happen (don't assume), as it's pointless every case is different.  Anything could happen, even to people who are not ill.  Take one day at a time.  Continue to enjoy what you normally enjoy.  Find something fun to focus on. 

    It's not easy of course.  Life is like an ongoing horror movie.  The trick is to find joy in between these horror episodes.

    Bon courage !!!