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Well where to I start!!!

I am new to this site, and at this time wishing had not had to join it either, if you know what I mean.

My mum has been battling Cancer for a year now and we have just been told the devastating news that they can do know more and the inevitable will happen.

This has sent all sorts of mixed emotions through me, my mum is half the woman she was a year ago, physically (as in dramatic weight loss) and personality through this. They are putting her on steroids to help build her up and try and increase her appetite. I just feel really scared at this, reason being, if they fatten her up, and she looks all healthy and back to her normal self (as much as anyone could be dealing with this) how am I going to feel when her time comes. To me at the moment, I feel like i've lost her and am grieving already. To have her get stronger and then get weaker nearer the end again, will be like loosing her again. Does this feeling make sense to anyone, cause I cannot tell my family this feeling, it sounds horrible and incredibly selfish. I don't like feeling it. Please if anyone is out there that has had this feeling, please share it with me. I don't know if its normal or not

hi alster welcome to this site but not for the reason you are here you dont say what type of cancer your mum has also try to open your profile so people can read it . the mixed emotions your feeling are natrul when u get devestating news like this there are wonderful people on this site who will help guide you through this journey. keep posting as you will get lots of advice and support on here terri-annie xx

Thanks for you comments Terri-Anne. Sorry, did not even know I could do a profile. have updated it now, I think! Mum's cancer is Ovarian, but been told its gone to lymph glands now. Its strange, I almost feel as if I am coping incredibly well for something so serious, but then have noticed tiny small things, that would not normally touch the surface of me emotionally, have sent me up the wall and really upset me, really stupid silly things, why on earth am I behaving like that!!

Hi Alster Im sorry to welcome you to this site but I hope you find some comfort from the understanding people here. I can totally understand how you feel,I feel the same way about my husband I feel I am already grieving for the man he was, and I feel selfish for feeling sorry for myself when he is the one who is ill. My heart goes out to you ,I can remember when my mum was ill, I just wish I had had a site like this to chat with people in the same situation.Keep posting,love and hugs
Annicex

Hello everyone, I just joined this forum and have written my first post. It's a relief to have found this site, knowing that there is support here. Sometimes it is difficult to talk to family and friends about true feelings, so to be able to come here is a blessing really.

hi alster everything your feeling is totally natural its such a roller-coaster ride the thoughts emotions we go through its the tougest journey telll her how much you love her keep posting

sorry lasy post is missing [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] terri xx

Hi
I have prostate cancer and nearing the end of a 12 week course of hormone treatment. I will soon be going to have 35 radiotherapy sessions (5 days a week over 7.5 weeks). I would like to say 'hello' to others using this site. I would also be grateful for advice about problems relating to work. It may be appropriate for these matters to be discussed privately.

HI Terri-annie and annice. Your comments are so supportive at this tough time. someone posted, sorry can't recall name, just recently, that this site is a blessing, and they are so right. Its like a counselling service too. When I accept things a bit more and get used to this site, I can look at some of your profiles and know how cancer has really affected you too. As I am not really a person that everythings all about me. Its good to share. But at the moment, I just feel I need to get to grips with the terminal news of my mum, who I love and adore so much, she is my best friend and I hate watching her go through this. I guess its all very raw for me at the moment. love and hugs to everyone on this site, I am so very glad to have found it xx

HI clifhes, so sorry you have had to be welcomed to this site. I am afraid I do not know much about the type of cancer you are suffering, but hopefully somebody will connect with you through this site and you won't feel alone. I am still very new to this site myself. I hope you get the support and comfort you so deserve through here x