My partner Martin was diagnosed with this horrible desease on june 19th 2008. I am so scared of this monster of a disease, why does it happen, where does it come from? Cant we find a cure? please God find one soon. There are htousands of new cases every year why cant we save these peoples lifes from this horrible disease.
Hi Gayle So sorry to hear how you have been treated- can they do that? given the situation you would have thought they would have been more considerate. I too had to make a decision as I had been off work for almost a year but at least I was given options, reduce hours, unpaid leave etc. I decided to go back so that I can 'save up' for when I will have to be off again as I would hate to be at home with no money and I want H to enjoy her life as much as possible so need 'treat money' .Going back to work hasn't been too bad so far but there again H is reasonably well at the moment and I can imagine that when shes not I won't want to go in! Can you get incapacity benefit and carers allowance now? It would be worth trying as at least you would have some money coming in. Take care all Love DianneJ.
Joan and David (Greyhound): thank you so much for your love and support. We are all in the same boat with this and we all go to 'hell and back' time and again and I am here, also, if you ever need me. Lots of love, xxxxxxxx
Gayle: I cannot believe Scottish Gas have had the audacity to do this. As Martin's primary carer, you are covered (and protected) by the same rights as he is, i.e. the Disability Discrimination Act and as I understand it they cannot LEGALLY sack you. Google the Act and you will find an array of contact nos. to help you contest this. Didn't they offer you unpaid leave? As you know, I work for a subsidiary of Scottish & Southern. I know in the next few weeks my half pay runs out and they are keen to get me back to work as soon as possible. I also have 'other stuff' going on in the workplace which they know they will also have to resolve.
It's hard to 'trust' employers in this situation. They start off being very helpful (as long as you are still working, of course!!) but despite ALL the tremendous knowledge they have to run and manage large conglomerates, they don't have a bloody clue about what life is like for us when we are thrown into this horrible nightmare that takes over our lives. I've expressed to my company that Roger is now very confused, cannot be left (even for a few minutes) and doesn't even like me answering the telephone. He's incredibly grumpy and, to be honest, today I'm not even looking forward to the first few days of him being home. I'm trying to remain positive and telling myself that it's the anaesthetic or the trauma of the operation that has changed him so much but what if it isn't?? What if he is going to stay this way or get worse? I am back to thinking this isn't my Roger but 'Brain Tumour/Other Roger' as I was so many months ago. Now is the hardest time, for sure. On top of that, Roger has had a slippery slope on and off - I was even warned that he was 'dying' on at least two occasions and that, in itself, takes you through so much extra distress. I've communicated all the time with work and, I'm sure, the majority of my old pals and employers think: 'oh yeah......she said he was dying last time......it's OK for her swanning around enjoying the summer sunshine......etc., etc. ....... she should get someone in to care for him............. it would do her good to come back to work...., etc., etc.' You know (and I honestly KNOW you ALL do), that YES, we would love to have our 'old' lives back (work 'n' all!) ....... to socialise with all our old work colleagues....... have routine of work and play back in our lives........ social trips to look forward to......... holidays.......... money in the Bank but we DO NOT, in the main, have ANY choice in this because we all know that, one day, our loved ones will be taken from us. I don't judge anyone who wants or has to go back to work because I know that needs must - especially where parents with young children find themselves on this path or risk eviction or bad debt. I'm coming up to that point where I am going to have to use Roger's money to fund everything. I didn't want to do that as he hasn't got a lot and I wanted him to be able to ENJOY it, not have it spent on us surviving. As I say, though, we just don't get much choice in these things because, if we did, NONE of us would be where we are now.
Hi, I don't post on this thread much usually wtbt but just can't believe what some of you are going through.
Dot, sorry things are so tough at the moment, really hope Roger starts to pick up and feel a bit better. Gayle, how can people be so insensitive? you feel like asking to them sometimes what they would do in our situations, its so easy for them to guess what people are going through but the reality of things is far worse than anyone could imagine. I'm sure will get a job no problem when you feel ready to you sound like a really lovely lady. We have just sent our forms off to to see if we can get our mortgage paid through our insurance (i've been told there should be no problem ) so that when i need to be off work long term that is one less thing to worry about, because hubby is still managing 2 short days most weeks he is still getting full pay from work so at least if mortgage gets paid that money can be put away for me not working. Take care and love to all XX MollieXX
Joan, sorry our posts must have crossed over last night, how are you, David and Reynard hopefully this finds you all well love to you all. xxx
Dianne, I have 7 days to appeal the decision, I dont have the energy to do it, I asked yesterday for another month off then I would try to work 3 days a week for a few hours, it was been accepted then my direct boss stepped in and said he felt I was unfit for work and did not want me to return the way I was, and that full time hours would be required, I could not and would not work for him ever again, it does sadden me as I have worked for the company for so long, but I will not be treated like that, one day when the time right I will get another job but now my time will be for M & M, financially its a struggle but we will get there, hope Hannah is well love to you all. xxx
Dot, your post as usual made me cry, reading your post it just sounds like my life, its a bloody nightmare what did we do to deserve this bloody life, it was so nice to speak to you this morning goodluck today, let me know how things go lots of love to you and Rodger. xxxx
take care everyone else thinking of you all, we are off to the caravan for the weekend have as good a weekend as you possibly can take care.
Our posts crossed over there, good for you keep on top of things because things get tougher and tougher, its great that your husband is still working long may it continue.
Hi Gayle seek advice as you seem to have been unfairly treated and it could be construed as unfair dismissal I know what you mean about the energy to 'fight' back have you got a human resources department? hope your ok take care x DianneJX
Hi all. dont get me started on work and money, Jamies work has now put him on to stat sick as off end of next month and I was unable to return to work after maternity leave as I had to either do full time or 5 mornings or 5 afternoons. Which may of been possible if it was just Connor that needed looking after but it may come to the point when its Jamie that needs looking after too. So we now find ourselves with having to pay the mortgage and survive on stat sick pay, nee impossible!!! Dot we too have savings but wish to use this money to have enjoyable days out creating memories not paying bills, god could rant all night on this subject!!! Happier news, we got married on Friday!!!!!! best day ever, everything was perfect weather, food, guests everything. We didnt stop dancing till 1am, everyone couldnt believe how well Jamie looked. Ceremony and speeches were a bit tearful even the dj who we had never met before cried during our first dance!! the day was made all the better after good(ish) news on scan result day last Friday. Doctor said looked good, was something there but hoped it was inflammation from treatment, Jamie came away pleased so thats half of the battle won, keping his spirits up. The doctor did say will get much clearer idea from next scan in 3 months time once swelling etc goes, already nervous of that but hey hoe! Bit of a weird feeling now after wedding all done and dusted back to just having tumour on my mind and not flowers or seating plans, Jamie starts the 6 month chemo tomorrow and i am dreading it, but he has tolerated everything to date so far so fingers crossed.
Hope all is well with everyone, take care.x Laura.x
Hi Laura, Congrats on your wedding! Re your finances could I just ask if you claim DLA? Also sounds as though you may be entitled to Carers Allowance. Sorry to state the obvious if you already claim them but lots of people dont know about them and every little helps. Good luck x x
Hi Laura Lou, congrats on your wedding. Just wanted to let you know we have just sent forms off to our mortgage insurance to claim on Terminal illness that should pay off the mortgage, hubby's oncologist has told us that although at the minute he is responding well to treatment and she "thinks" he as a good chance of getting past the 2 year mark the insurance companies go by statistics rather than individual cases, the statistics being 18-24 months he is now into the 18 month period so we should hopefully get this paid (fingers crossed) they say it should take between 6-8 weeks. Hope this makes some sense and something that you could look into as its one less thing to worry about. Love and hugs to all XX MollieXX
Laura, congratulations on your wedding, great to hear some good news congratulations to you both. Hope you have better luck with your mortgage than we did, because the mortgage is only in my name we dont quality for insurance payment typical, as ying yang says there are certain benefits that you may be entitled to, you should call your local benefit office they will advice you, enjoy your honeymoon period. xxx
