Surviving Oesophageal Cancer

Bacardy

Your mind will be all over the place so do whatever you think will help, if your work colleagues are supportive and understand this then their company may well be of help to you. Although the situation is very serious and you are the subject of circumstance there is always hope, so don’t lose focus on this. Keep talking positive things to him he may not remember but he will hear what you say, so don’t let anyone talk negative around him. When I was cut out of a car wreck in 1997 people were shouting that the car was going to catch fire, I was unconscious but could hear, I can remember the brightest white light which is associated with deep unconsciousness and it was a better place than I had ever been, so the point I am making is you need a good reason to leave that place, therefore by you talking to him may well give him that reason to return.

Take care,

Steve

Hope

Within Pandora’s Box hope was locked away from humanity and we were as candles unprotected from the changing fortunes of the wind yet upon the release of hope our fragile flame is able to burn brighter against a fortuitous wind, for what shall become of us if we do not have hope to shine back into the face of fear and adversity as we journey along life’s precarious path, for we may have nothing else to give or receive except the extended hand of hope.

Hi Bacardiwoman,

Thinking of you...God what you are going though is f'ing DREADFUL I've been there! I wouldn't wish it on anyone. My husband was on 90% oxygen at one point too. He has no memory of it at all , he doesn't remember me being there and talking to him, although the nurses and doctors think I did good being there. To be 100% honest I'm not sure it made any difference.   Thinking of you.

Lots of love, feel free to message me or whatever anytime. xxxxxx

Steve - Thinking of you too, with your scan. Lots of love xxxx

Anyone else - lots of love too xxxx

(I'm off now to put cream on my husbands chest, to top it getting too sore from radiotherapy)

Hi everyone

Thanks for your kind words, some of which made me cry!  Having  weepy day today whereas yesterday didnt cry at all!

Samantha00 was your husband totally dependent on the ventilator to stay alive or just to give him a rest?  Have just read your profile. 

xx

Hi Bacardi

My husband was totally dependant on the ventilator after the original op...was in ICU for more than a week and then he had 4 more weeks in hospital...he also had a chest infection.  It is a huge operation and does take it out of a body and terrifying for loved ones watching on, but he won't remember much of it and when I say he nearly died he gets angry for saying such 'rubbish'!   Incidentally he had the oxygen for a very long time.

He was also on the ICU ward when he went into anaphylaxis when they first tried to operate for secondaries...again he remembers nothing, but as Steve said they are 'aware' when you're there.  

It is quite tiring sitting there watching the machines and worrying so it's good to get out and have as many breaks as possible.  I know how difficult it is to leave but it's good to have a walk or a cup of coffee and read the paper to try to take your mind off things, if possible.

There should be someone you can talk to at the hospital when you are tearful (which I was nearly all the time) ....maybe one of the nurses could let you know who?

Anyway, we're all here rooting for you and your husband, even though not everyone says anything.

Healing hugs,

Love

Sue x

Thank you so much Sue for your reply.  I now have a glimmer of hope that he may recover! xxxxxx

Hi BW

May that glimmer become ever stronger through recovery until the light fills your heart and soul once more.

Huge hugs

David [X]

Hi Bacardiwoman,

To be honest I'm not 100% sure, I can't remember. But I believe that he was totally dependent. He was on 90% oxygen at 1 point, so that would lead me to believe he was very dependent indeed.  They tried to bring him off a few times, but he got too distressed and his heart rate went too high and all the machines beeped alot. I've blocked out quite alot of it - especially as it has a happy ending. My husband finds it impossible to believe!

Thinking of you! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Bacardiwoman

You’re in my thoughts and I’m hoping beyond hope that your husband is rallying.  Let us know how you’re getting on when you can, as we’re all here for you.

Sending you warmest vibes and a healing hug.

Crystal xx

Hi Everyone

Thanks for your good wishes.  Things not good.  He seemed fairly stable on Tuesday and his oxygen was down to 50%.  I arrived yesterday to find he was on 100% and had a setback - when they had moved him the gunk in his lungs had caused a blockage and they had to suck it out.  We were taken into the dreaded side room again and told how critical he is.  Asked if hes likely to make it but they wont give me any clue or committ.  He also keeps semi coming round and his son asked if they get immune to the sedation and the nurse said yes!!!  It really frightens and upsets me when he tries to come round and Im starting to struggle to sit there as Im on edge the whole time.  In fact struggling to cope with the whole situation at the moment.  Had intended to return to work part time today but just feel sick to my stomach now.

xxx

Bacardy

The thing is you will think that everything you do is wrong, so just go with how you are feeling at the time; the truth is there is no right or wrong because you have to somehow survive the trauma and not put your wellbeing at risk. If going to work for a few hours is going to give you a measure of normality then just do it, you may not be able to escape your feelings, only to manage them the best way you can. It is so hard to cope with the not knowing so hold onto your emotion of hope.

You are in our thoughts,

Steve x