Surviving Oesophageal Cancer

hi all

gill has posted a question on my page that i cant answer if any one has the time could you take alook cheers

its under oesphageal cancer my father in law

hope all is well or as good as it can be

take care

li

Hi Wendy,

Yep it's quite normal to get teary and angry and sad and mad and all manner of other emotions at this, and any time.

Not bad from a male and ex sailor ! I can cry at the drop of a hat - just seeing my 4yr old grandson give his Granma a hug, or hearing a bellbird outside our window in the early morning, or seeing my dog look up at me pleading to go for a walk, it's OK.!!

We found it pretty tough the first few weeks out of hospital though, after all the attention 24/7, monitoring every cough, sniffle or fart - then all of a sudden you are on your own with no ''experts" at hand. It takes a while to regain confidence and trust in the world around you. But most important is to have trust in yourself, - it ain't easy but as each day passes you will find you are able to do a bit more than the day before. I keep a diary and whenever I become a bit disillusioned with my ability (not inability) I look back and am staggered at the progress I've made.

Whenever I get a bit down to it and in "woe is me" mode I think of the thousands of young people who have the misfortune to end up with life in a wheelchair and think how lucky I am to be able to walk and talk and do every thing for myself . But yes Wendy it is normal to feel down and sorry for yourself and it's OK.

I remember seeing a motivational movie on salesmanship about 40 years ago and Spike Milligan was one of the motivators and I have never forgotten his comments.
He said how he had been in the funny farm on occasions for depression and how salespeople were similar to comedians - only as good as your last performance- and as a result often got depressed after a poor show. He described how he went from the "peaks of elation to the valleys of despondency The secret of staying sane is to not get stuck in the valley"
His words and zany sense of humour have helped me through the years and thankfully have never lingered in the valleys.

So all the best Wendy it gets better every day from here on.
Cheers Ben.

Hi Wendy
I do sympathise and know where you’re coming from. There is a certain stage in recovery when everyone starts to doubt themselves and wonders if they’ll ever find any more strength to just continue recovering, let alone to return to full health. It’s very hard trying to regain health isn’t it? So this tends to manifest itself in a number of ways. For many people, like you, it’s going through the tearful stage, for others it displays as anger and for some it leads to a deep depression. Many people just seem to accept it and do ok. It’s all normal and completely understandable, because at some point it hits home that you’ve been mortally threatened and this causes a physical and emotional reaction such as those mentioned. For myself, I had some anger and impatience, tempered with the thought that it was up to me how I approached my recovery. So I watched many hours of comedy because laughing made me feel good. I surrounded myself with good people and ditched those who didn’t know what they were talking about, and I read a lot of uplifting books. I also got outdoors as much as possible, walking in the fields and woods and going to the ballet and theatre. My main aim was to feel good inside, and this showed on the outside and was physically beneficial. I’m not suggesting you do the same, although it wouldn’t hurt, as people have to find their own way through the emotional levels, but places like this forum lend support and people that have had this surgery know exactly what you are talking about. People have told me quite odd things about how they’ve felt after this surgery and so nothing really surprises me now. The main thing to hold in your mind is that it does get absolutely much better. Maybe not like before, not fully, but enough where you can do pretty much anything you did before, you just do it in a different way. Most days now, I feel very happy and bubbly inside, but can’t sustain too much stress. So, my advice to you Wendy would be to know that you are going to get better and to do it in a way that makes you feel good. Look in the mirror, smile and realise that you’re looking great and that you can be what you want to be and do what you set your mind to do (or near enough Lol). Hope you’re not feeling too bad today, and tomorrow will be better.
Love Crystal xxx

Hi to All
It’s a sunny day so a hug to each of you, but I’ve gotta hug and run so I can sit outside in the sun! Have a lovely day. xxxx