hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
How are you?Thanks for your post, sorry I didn’t get back last night, ended up going to bed about 9.00pm, nothing much on tv, so had an early night.
That’s great you have a week off, just relax and do nothing, take some time just for you for a change.The idea of shopping in London sounds good, if you do go, make sure you spend lots of money.It will be strange going after all this time, but I'm sure your Mum will be pleased that you’ve decided to go and will not be far away, keeping an eye on things. Has there been any interest in the house sale yet?I bet it looks great after all your hard work, an achievement I'd say.Keep in touch Liz, I'd like to hear about your shopping day and any ‘goodies’ you bought (I wish I was coming with you, I fancy a day in London just mooching about).Take care Liz, and have a brilliant week, whatever you decide to do.Love jayne xxx
And thanks for your post.It was very lonely here last night, so I gave up and went to bed early.I hope you had a good day yesterday with your sister, lots of ‘girlie’ talk and stuff.Thanks for the ‘good luck’ for tomorrows interview.I WAS having butterflies, but we drove around yesterday to ‘suss’ the place out, and it looks a right dump.It just looks like a warehouse type thing, with just ONE small window, and that has bars on it!!!So today I drove round again just to see if there were offices opposite, or if there was a front to the place, just in case I'd missed something.But there wasn’t either!!!When I looked around what I thought would be the front, it turned out it was the back, there were NO windows at all.So I'm not feeling quite so jittery because I'm going with the attitude that I'm not bothered (bit bad really), but maybeits better inside (couldn’t be any worse !!).there were 3 other jobs in this weeks paper, I've applied for one and am still thinking about the other 2 because they're full time positions.Not sure I want to go back full time anymore, even though they both sounded right up my street.
It was very cold here yesterday, cold and dull, so we went to the pub for couple of drinks.Today is lovely and sunny, but a bit cold.I haven’t heard about Mums plaque yet, I think it will be nearer mid April, but I'm hoping it will be nice.I was a bit miffed that they couldn’t match it with dads, but never mind, at least I will have something, (not that I need anything to remind me of Mum), but you know what I mean.
Are you any nearer to getting a plant or rose for your Mum Susan ?You could have a small fruit tree that goes into a pot rather than into the ground.That way you could move it about to anywhere you wanted.We have a cherry tree which Mum originally planted for me in a pot.Then the 2nd year we planted it in the ground, had loads of cherries on it.last year the birds ate them all because what with Mum and everything we didn’t net it.But we dug it up and put it back in a big tub and brought it with us, so that’s where its going to stay now.I hope you’ve had a lovely weekend, will speak soon and no doubt will be on here tomorrow with the interview update!!Take care, love jayne xxx
It’s me!! Hope you are all doing OK. I’m sorry for not being in touch and thank you all so much for thinking of me. I cried when I came on here just now. I’m both physically and emotionally drained again and I don’t know why. Getting a grip of myself and continuing with my life is just so hard at the moment and I know Mum and Dad would be furious at me. You have all been a fantastic support to me and I was desperate to talk to you last week but I couldn’t possibly have burdened you all again with my feelings and emotions. I feel so stupid and pathetic sometimes. I am much further along the road and I should now be able to give a lot more advice and support just like Susan. Great job i'm doing!!!! I’m so sorry. I really do care about how you are all getting on. To make matters worse this week, the chest pains have returned with a vengeance. Definitely need to be put down!!
Jayne-I hope you’re feeling brighter again and I hope all goes well with the job interview tomorrow. Have you found the place yet? I hope it’s not full time. We need you here too!!! You are such a kind, warm-hearted person and your messages are such a comfort to me Jayne-THANK YOU- xxxx.
Susan-THANK YOU- xxxx. I’ve just been reading through all your messages and they make so much sense. Only, when I’m on this other planet, I can’t take any of it in. We will all get through this, won’t we?? I’m on holiday on Friday too. We’re off for a fortnight and then our local holiday (just like the bank holidays) falls on the Monday (16th) and we have a staff In Service day on the Tuesday so I won’t see the kids for 2 1/2 weeks. Where is Jonathan off to? Can he ski? I would love to pussy sit for you to let you away. Pets do tie you down though, don’t they? Mum and Dad used to always take Benji. A friend insisted she look after him in the summer so I could go away for a couple of days and I think he was OK. I haven’t the heart to put him into kennels. Look after yourself, Susan. xxx
PS Have you done any more about a plant or sponsoring a child. I’ve been looking at the web site.
Karen-How are you? Have you managed to see the doctor yet? I’m sure he/she will be able to help. I’m still on anti depressants which I hate taking but was willing to try anything to get back to some sort of normality. I somehow think they’re not working any more!! I’m glad everything went smoothly with the house change and well done with WW. You’ve been brilliant Karen-take care. xxxx
Amanda-I hope your Dad’s move went smoothly and he’s beginning to settle in. I t will take a while for you all to adjust. Are you still doggy sitting? Thinking about you and take care, Amanda xxx
Marie – Hope these guinea pigs got fed last night!! Are you feeling a bit brighter in yourself? You have done so well considering everything, Marie. Take care of yourself and no chatting to Jayne when there are chores to be done!!! xxx
Liz- Good for you. You definitely need a break. If you’ve any spare money I could do with a whole new wardrobe. I haven’t been near a clothes shop since Christmas and that wasn’t for me. I haven’t quite made it to NEXT yet! I hope you’re feeling a bit better and the rest does you good. xxx
Sharon- Thanks for thinking of me when you have so much more to deal with. Your doing just fine, Sharon and your mum will be appreciating everything your doing for her. As Susan says the good memories will return. It’s taking me a long time but I’m sure I’ll be able to remember the happy times soon. xxx
Thanks again everyone. You are wonderful friends and I appreciate that enormously.
Hi to Karen, Amanda, Louise, Marie, Sharon, Jodie and anyone I've forgot.How is everyone?I hope things are ok.
There are a few people that are ‘conspicuous by their absence’ just lately.Please come back very soon to let us know that you're ok.I do worry when there’s no word from you.I hope everyone has had a good weekend, speak soon, lots of love to you all, jayne xxx
LOUISE, its so good to have you back, we're here together, so must read through your post first, then I'll be back later. great to see you, lots of love jayne xxx
So good to see you, I'm sorry you're feeling still so rough, I hope your holiday will do you good and that you can have a well-deserved rest. Louise. don't keep worrying about what others think, most of all, your mum and dad love you and they would understand your feelings more than most. You're not as far down this road as me and please don't think that you are not able to give advice and support, the great thing about here, is that we're all different and whilst we have had similar experiences we're all at different stages and we should be able to help each other. We need you to come and talk, it would never be a burden, in fact quite the opposite, we care about you Louise and worry when you're not here.
I'm sorry about the chest pains - have you been back to the doctors? What are you going to do? How are you feeling about the counselling?? You must be going back in a couple of weeks.
As for the other planet Louise, yes we will get through this and please don't think you're the only one that's been there!!
What are your holiday plans then? Jonathan is off to Austria, yes he can ski and he's really looking forward to it. Yes the cats are very restrictive, especially as the young one cannot yet go anywhere!! I'm enlisting my sister to help but I'm not sure she's very pleased!! I'm sure as you say the pets don't bother as much as we do (much like the children!!)
What do you think about the website and sponsoring a child, I think I will go ahead although everyone else is not that positive! Hence the reason why I'm still mulling it over!!
Hope to see you soon and hang in there, only just a few more days!!
Sounds a bit iffy this place!! Maybe just as well, in that case, it's no problem at all and if you get in you can decide so maybe it;s for the best. The other options also sound promising so it looks as if it's full steam ahead!!
I hope you are feeling ok, you do sound better than last week - are you?
I have not really done much else about the plant - thanks for asking. I'm still thinking about the tree and also sponsoring a child!! what do you think??
Please let me know how you get on, I will pop by tomorrow and be looking out for you!
