hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
Please don't be so hard on yourself, pathetic, I don't think so! It sounds to me as if you have moved forward and I think to have managed this week really does deserve a big pat on the back, Please do accept that to have been through this is a big thing and not one that is easy.
As for never being off before well, that does reflect just how much of a loss this has been for you and that demands time and appreciation of how much it will take in terms of time and healing to begin your recovery. I'm sure that counselling is a good idea and Amanda will, I think, be able to verify this and be able to talk about her own experiences.
It's no wonder that these days are draining, the weeks and days leading up to Christmas have required a great deal of energy and will power just to get through both personally and professionally for you so it's no wonder that you need time to recuperate.
Please look after yourself and be good to yourself, you've been through a terrible ordeal and you need nurturing and a bit of space - but it will be ok, I kow that's less than helpful now but honestly I think I do have some insight and I can see that there is light and hope and you just need to take time and keep believing that having come through such awful times, nothing can be worse and you have survived and you're doing ok!
I wish you a good night's sleep and hope that Benji will have a lie in!
Hi Louise-Susan is right,as we go into the new year i have realised that i have just experienced the absolute worst thing that life can throw at me,the death of someone close,in my case my mum,and i don't care what 2007 brings for me now.It can't be any worse than what has just happened.Normally i go into a new year with a degree of trepidation,because we all worry about what will happen to us in the next 12 months,but this new year i shall have no worries at all.I have had my mum,who was my absolute best friend,taken from me and the pain of that is still so very intense.Yet,i have got through.Christmas has not been full of tears although the desperate sense of loss is with me all the time.Therefore,the future holds no fear for me at all and i guess that for you,having coped as you have and almost reached the first anniversary,you may feel pretty much the same.You have done so well,and come so far and having achieved this,there's now nothing in life that you can't overcome-so reflect on that as you go forward,because you are amazingly strong-you've been very low and fought back and you need to give yourself a huge pat on the back for achieving what you have.All the very best for the new year,lots of love,marie XXXXXX
I hope you are doing OK. Thank you so much again for your kind words.
I’m feeling better today and have been keeping myself busy but wow, these bad days are so awful, aren’t they? I wish I had your strength to cope better. Sometimes I get so angry (even with my parents!!) and panic so much about the way I’m feeling that I don’t know if I can get through them. However, I do get through them and I suppose they are becoming less frequent and I realise that I haven’t gone right back to “square one” again. I just want things to be “normal” again and it’s sometimes so difficult to accept that having lost two of the most precious people in my life means that “normal” is never going to be the same again. I have been thinking a lot about what you have both said and you are right, we have been through such a terrible experience that no matter what else happens next year, it can’t get any worse (hopefully!!) Things will get better. I just must accept that this immense ache inside me will take time to heal. Boy, it’s hard though!!!
Take care
Love and hugs
Louise xxxxxxx *** Edited 29/12/2006 18:48:40 GMT by LouiseM***
If there is any strength then I can honestly say that it has only come with time and acceptance and the need to appreciate where I am and where I hope to get to. We're all at different points in the grieving process and as far as time is concerned you're a long way behind me and it's still early days for you. I have no doubt that you will catch me up and probably go further!.
I know what you mean about the bad times and there is just nothing than can make that better - I know that raw feeling that does physically ache and the tears that just flow until no more can come. I wish I could in some way make it easier or better for you, but I know I cannot. However, please do be reassured that it will be ok and just carry on doing the best you can.
You need to keep warm up there with this terrible weather, I hope that Benji is looking after you and not thinking about dragging you outside!
I hope to pop by tomorrow before I go away but for now, hope you have a peaceful night.
Love Susan *** Edited 29/12/2006 20:07:51 GMT by susans***
Just wanted to say have a lovely time tomorrow and enjoy your trip away. I'll really miss you but hopefully I'll find someone else to chat to till your return.
I've had the lights on all day today. The weather has been milder but so dark and dismal. Benji likes his walks no matter what the weather is. I've got all my waterproof clothing though so it's not too bad. In fact, I always feel better after having been out in the fresh air for a while. My Dad bought Benji a furry lined coat a few years ago (told you he was spoilt!) so there's nothing coming over him either.
Love Louise xxx *** Edited 29/12/2006 20:47:00 GMT by LouiseM***
I could do with some help and support of coping with losing my mum last night. Im only 18 and need tips from people that have been in this situation that im going to be going through. If theres anyone that can help, i would really appreciate it x
I am so sorry about your mum, it's such a tragic loss for you. I think you will be feeling very shocked at the moment, perhaps numb and confused - and that is ok.
As Susan often tells me, there is no one way of expressing your grief, it's individual to you. It is very early for you, Jodie, this only happened yesterday. Try to be with people in the next few days, it helped me alot to have friends and family around so we could all talk about what happened when my own mum died.
Your mission now, will be just to get through the next few days and week, which will suddenly become incredibly busy. Just concentrate on this and don't think too much about coping beyond that - and if you feel you can't 'cope' and just want to cry, then do so.
Please keep in touch and we are all thinking about you.
This forum is my lifeline just now. Although I have not long started taking part, I have been reading all your messages. You have had such a hard time and my heart goes out to you. It’s nearly a year since my Mum died and I lost my Dad the year before. Some days it feels like yesterday and I still am finding it so hard to come to term with it all and move on. I know we will though.
Hope to chat to you again.
Louise xxx *** Edited 30/12/2006 11:16:21 GMT by LouiseM***
