hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
You and I sound so much alike at the moment. It’s awful, isn’t it? About 6 months after Mum died I actually started to feel better. I got back to work, which really lifted my spirits, the summer was coming and I generally thought I’d picked myself up a bit. However, everything caught up with me again and some days, even when Mum and Dad are not uppermost in my thoughts, I feel I can’t cope with anything and don’t know how to carry on. I feel physically sick a lot of the time and sometimes I just can’t stop shaking. Everything is such a challenge, isn’t it?
I hope you get an appointment with your GP soon, Karen. It’s ridiculous having to wait this long. I’m sure you’ll get help there. Now Karen, I’ve been “told off” by Susan and Jayne for not coming here even on my low days ( which have been constant recently) so I think the same goes for you!! Please don’t do the same as me.
Things WILL get better, Karen. This grieving process just takes time. I wish I could help.
You take lots of care
Love and a BIG hug
Louise
(())
xxxx
How is your evening going?I'm sorry you're still feeling so low. Have you had a good day at school? I'm sure the little ones must lift your spirits during the daytime, it seems to be the evenings when you're alone that these awful feelings take over.When we’re alone it seems to give us more time to dwell on things doesn’t it?I sit here alone all day, most times I'm ok even though I spend most of the day talking to Mum, but sometimes I lose it again and just sit and cry.I think we’re at opposite ends of things Louise.You need someone to talk to in the evening and I need someone during the daytime??!!The only thing we can do Louise is just work through this.None of us know how long it will take, but what's the hurry?? We have all the time we want, there is no time limit and there are no rules, so we can take as long as we need.Everyone’s different and we shouldn’t judge or measure where we are in this grieving process by what anyone else is feeling or doing, we are all different, that’s what makes us unique.We are all different and special in our own way.As I said to Marie, theres someone who loves us all and for this reason alone we have to carry on because we owe it to those people who care for us.There will be happier times to come for all of us Louise, I'm not sure when, but we just have to look forward and enjoy the life we have.There are so many people on this site that are going through the most awful times, just wanting their health back, and we have to make the most of how we are and just be glad for what we have now.I'm probably not being of much help, but I just know that better times are ahead for all of us, I think we’ve been through the worse, so it can only get better.Take care Louise, please don’t stay away again, we need you.Love jayne xxx
thanks for your message, i know what you mean about everyone thinking your always pre-menstrual, im sure thats how my family see me, your jonathan bless him is so true in what he said, our parents would definately be very cross with us wouldnt they? but even though i know they would be i just cant seem to be able to pick myself up. my boys keep saying mum your always so angry and seem so sad, bless them i dont want to be like this its horrible.
no job news yet susan, the boys all finish this friday, i bet your looking forward to a nice and well deserved rest.
thank you once again for your great support susan,
thanks for your message, i'm so sorry your feeling so bad as well, its horrible isnt it louise you cant seem to be able to pick yourself up can you? and i feel im being awful to my hubby and boys keep moaning constantly, if i could stop it i would.
like you louise i keep feeling sick and just not right, i dont go anywhere only to the cemetery which i havent even been there as often as i was going, i went on saturday and took some lovely flowers.
i hope you start to pick up as well louise, this grieving process is the worst feeling in the world isnt it?
thanks for your great support louise!!
hope you have a good day tomorrow, speak soon, lots of love and a big hug too, karen xxx
Just wanted to add something quickly - our dinner is getting later and later! I must say that nearly a year after my mum and dad died, I did feel much better but with that came a feeling of guilt, I then began to question how could I ever feel cheerful and laugh and really enjoy life. This was for me quite a dilemma, whilst I did want to try to move forward there was always the element of feeling that by doing this, I was not really being "faithful" to my mum and dad. How could I ever enjoy life again without my mum and dad. I still have not come to terms with all this but I did want to share it and wondered whether this is how others feel? This is really a big challenge and one that I have had to be aware of and learn how to manage, I know what my mum and dad would have wanted and I need to try to build on this before I can move forward.
I’m sorry. I know I’ve so much to be thankful for. I too read the stories on here and they break my heart. I must try harder. We only get one life and who knows what’s around the corner.
Louise
xxx
PS I read your posts on other threads and yes, Lou had had such a hard time. It would be good for her to come here.
PPS I’ll let you know about the photos etc. Hopefully I’ll do them tomorrow night.
i have also had those thoughts as well, when i was at counselling that was one of the things that kept coming up too, so i think it must be very normal for us all on this journey to feel like that musnt it? thank you for sharing.
i hope you enjoy your dinner, and have a good day tomorrow,
Hey you guys, I cant keep up now!!! every time i go to answer something, one of you has posted again, stop it. Now i have to start again, be back soon. jayne x
