hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
Louise Louise, ive just read your post. what do you mean that Benji is with mum and dad, i'm so worried. I just sat and cried and my husband asked what was wrong. What has happened, please dont say what i think you're saying. Is everything ok, please let me know. Im here all night. love jayne xxx
Oh Jayne I'm so sorry. I meant that Benji was in the photo (Race for life) with Mum and Dad. Look at my web page. Trust me, I'm always saying the wrong things. I'd be hysterical if I lost him just now. He'll be 12 tomorrow so i know it won't be too long though.
How has your day been then? Quite a challenge, like the rest of us, I expect. Did you get breakfast in bed from Jonathan? I can still hardly believe what you have been through, Susan. Your strength and attitude puts me to shame. I understand what you say about your Mum not only dying of cancer but having a broken heart. Although my mum never really said anything, she was probably the same. When I think of how much I miss them both I realise how much worse it must have been for Mum after having been 40+ years together. My dad died so suddenly too that she (nor us) got to say any goodbyes. Life seems so unfair sometimes and I just find it really hard to deal with but deal with it I must.
I’m so sorry for being so insensitive yet again. I was moaning about my cold cemetery visit but at least I can go there and I am so grateful for that. Although I believe they are all around me I still find it very comforting to have that special place to go to. What a shame you don’t have anywhere. You’ll have to get that plant organised. Your idea about sponsoring a child has been on my mind a lot since you mentioned it. Had your parents spoken about it before or had you just heard about it on the radio? I’ve seen adverts on the TV but never really thought about it before. It seems a lovely worthwhile idea, Susan. I may look into it further too. When it became clear that I was never going to have my own family I often wondered about adoption or fostering but I’m sure being on my own would have been against that. However, I could maybe do something to help a child from another country-mmmm.
Jonathan’s got a busy schedule, hasn’t he? It must be hard for you working round all his activities. Did you mange to see your sister today? As I said to Jayne, I’ve had quite a lazy day and only 2 weeks to the holidays so hopefully I’ll survive. When are you on holiday? We have a health week this week and have people coming in to teach different activities every day. Tomorrow is Yoga Bugs so that sounds interesting.
I’m off for a sit down before taking my BP again. It was 189/90 earlier and that’s with medication!! However, yesterday it was 98/67. I have feeling I’m still not doing it properly. My brother had to go and get his checked last week and his is the same-what a pair!!!
Have a good week, Susan
Thanks again for all your support
Sending you all my love
Louise
xxx
I'm sorry that this is all so difficult and in many ways I agree that having others around - for me especially Jonathan and my husband does make life easier and also busier. Is there anything I can do??
I have visited your page - I can see that is your mum and dad - is that Benji? You have developed a great page - you're getting to be very good at web design and development.
Just having such a bad time a the moment and not putting myself across very well, am I? I'm trying not to sound too down and depress you all though-maybe I'm not succeeding!!
I feel a right fool now, but will have a look at the web site, sorry for being such a twit, but I do worry about you Louise, and Benji. Like I'm always saying, I wish I could be there with you. Wouldnt it be great one day for us all to meet up. Anyway, back to reading messages. jayne xxx
Sorry we must be cross posting! I did get my breakfast in bed and it was lovely. As for my own challenges well Louise, please don't be so hard on yourself, you have done so well and most of the time you have to face this alone and that must be so difficult. I have many other distractions and Jonathan does keep me very busy. You're right, life is hard to deal with and we have little option but ot get on with it, things can only get better for you Louise and they will.
You were not being insensitive at all, I'm pleased that you do have some where to go and I hope that you do get some comfort from being there- you deserve to and you should make the most of it - without worrying abut anything else.
My parents had never thought about sponsoring a child and neither have I before now, I have not seen the adverts onTV only heard it on the radio and now checked out the website: http://www.worldvision.org/. I thought my mum would approve of the idea and maybe we could sponsor a little girl and watch her grow.
Jonathan is always busy, but it's no problem taking him everywher, I enjoy that and as I said he does keep me busy . I did see my sister today and her son, she was also feeling that it was a "funny" day so it was good to be able to spend some time together.
Sounds as if you have a hectic week ahead, I hope you will be looking after yourself and taking care.
Phew - well good news Benji is fine and he looks lovely on the photograph with your mum and dad. I suddenly feel very relieved- thank goodness and what's more he's having a birthday tomorrow!!
The day has been ok thanks and the best thing is, it's nearly over! Sounds as if you have been busy yourself and you're now a new woman!! I could never imagine my husband doing that for me - you're very lucky, he sounds a thoughtful and wonderful man- you're well matched.
You're right we do have to move on and learn to accept what has happened. I am hopeful that we may all meet again, although my own faith (such as it is) is sorely tested all the time at the moment.
So another challenge past and just the next hurdles waiting to be overcome. This year has been better in one way in that I now have a group of good friends with whom I can be myself and I can feel at ease talking about everything that has happened.
Hope your back is a little easier, your hair looks great and you're looking after yourself.
Sounds as if you have had a busy day, where is your mum's bench? The idea of buying the hydrangea was lovely and I'm sure it was just the right thing to do, I bet your mum was smiling to herself, so please dwith you.
It has been a very difficult day for us all and the great thing is, it's nearly over and we've managed to survive (again!). Our depths of inner strength are always being challenged but then for me nothing could ever touch the pain and sadness that has gone before. It still is a matter of accepting and readjusting - which all sounds so easy to say but so difficult to put into practice!!
As for driving, well forget your age and if you're a good back seat driver then just move forward and you'll be fine - it's really not as hard as these men would have us believe :)
Have a good week and thanks for thinking about us,
