hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
I hope you're feeling a bit brighter.Its strange how some of us have felt the last few days isn’t it?I kept coming on here and reading messages, but for the life of me didn’t know how to reply, or just couldn’t find the words I wanted to say.I'm sorry you’ve felt the same, but at the same time glad that’s its not just me, I thought perhaps there was something not right with my mind, but I guess its just ANOTHER part of this horrible grieving thing.
That’s really sad about your friend, I hope she soon feels better, and thank goodness she has you to help her get through this, a true friend.It must’ve been hard because of all the memories it brought back for you, but you have been through yet another bad time, but will rise above it and will get through it and come out the other side a stronger person.Every rotten thing that life throws at us, we will all get through it and be even better and stronger than before.
The bit about when your nan died rings a few bells for me.My brother drinks quite a lot, he started drinking heavily when Dad died and I think a lot of his aggression is drink related.He probably don’t even remember things hes said, so that’s the reason I let things go a lot of the time, even though it does upset me.It would more than likely upset him if I repeated some of the things he’s said.Whatever.
I hope everything goes ok this weekend Amanda and you get stuff sorted out at your dads.It will be another emotional time for you, taking down mums curtains etc, but she will be watching and thanking you for doing a great job in supporting your Dad.I’ll be thinking of you all, love to you Aaron, Josie and everyone.Take care, jayne xxx
And thanks.I think I'm ok now, just a bit sad this morning.And I have no idea why we put ourselves through things like this.Its pretty obvious we’re going to cry, so why do we do it I wonder?I think we just need to punish ourselves for some reason.But as you say, at least we do have these things, and it WILL get easier to look at.I was talking to her the whole time I was watching the video.I kept saying ‘oh you looked beautiful Mum on that day’, and ‘didn’t we have a good day Mum’.(daft I know).Your Mum was so lovely, and so brave Marie, and also very right in that we will all see each other again one day.Its something to cling to isn’t it?
Well, I might actually go and put something a bit smart on now (probably can't get in anything decent!).speak soon Marie, take care, love jayne xxx
Jayne-- your guess is as good as mine!!!! i'm sure that my youngest would get you fully informed, but he talks a lot of twaddle, and goes on for hours, so there would be no room left on this forum for anyone else to post anything!!!!
Its something that you and i will just have to carry on wondering about, because i am NOT going to start him off on that one again!!!!!!! bye for now, love Marie XXXXX
Hi Amanda-- sorry to hear about your friend.It must be really tough for her.life can be so cruel sometimes can't it. Theres people out there who don't want kids particularly and then fall pregnant at the drop of a hat, and then theres people like your friend, who can't wait to have children and they get all the upsets and difficulties. I hope that she will try again and be successful next time round.Good luck with your dads move.There must be an awful lot to do, and i'm sure he's very thankful that you are there to help him. Glad you're feeling better as regards your friends. I'm sure i do things to mine that come across as insensitive,or uncaring- but i really don't intend for it to be seen that way.Anyway, hope you will have a good weekend.Where's all the sun gone??? hubby says that snow has been forecast for monday!!!!! haven't heard that myself, but then i dont spend as long in front of the tele as he does!!!!! Take care, lots of love,Marie XXXX
Hi Sharon-- see what i mean about being insensitive?-- i didn't think when i asked you that it would possibly upset others who haven't got their mums anymore. I hope that people don't mind. it is very hard for those who have lost our mums, but we can't really ignore the fact that others still do have them..If i do ask you anything regarding your mum then dont worry if you dont want to answer- i just wasn't thinking- but you've not done anything to upset anyone-- you just replied to me!!! Take care, love marie XXXX
HI Marie
I don't want you to feel bad for asking about what I was doing on sunday. I do like talking about about mum as she is the most important person in my life and I love her so much.I hate what she has gone through over the last 4 years its heartbreaking. But I am also aware of the other people on here and you who have lost their mums. I sometimes feel guilty if I put on here happy times like mums birthday but people don't seem to mind and people on here are always asking about mum. So don't feel you can't ask me things about her as I really don't mind. You take care and I'll speak to you later love Sharon xxxx
Jayne
I'm sorry you were upset earlier. I hope you are feeling a bit better and that you enjoy this evening. Have a good time Speak to you later love Sharon xxx
Deleted my last message as it was very long and sounded so full of self pity!!!
I'm not coping with anything again just now and don’t know why. I’m trying so hard for my mum and dad to move on and be happy again but I really don’t think I’m ever going to reach the top of this hill. I still miss them so much and Mother’s Day with 28 children is not helping either.
I won’t ramble on again-sorry. I’ll be fine later.
I wish i'd got up now and chatted to you, been awake most of the night again. Might go back to bed when hubby gets up. I hope youre feeling a bit better this morning, but you must be so tired. Did you manage to get any sleep at all? I hope you have a better day Louise, thinking of you, love jayne xxx. and one for Benji x.
Well, we had a lovely meal, and my husband came home with the most beautiful orchid plant, a real surprise because we had agreed not to buy anything, but its lovely, full of flowers.Mum had an orchid plant here that my niece had bought her and when Mum was in the hospice she asked my niece to take it home with her and look after it.It was a bit strange how she asked, it was as though she was going away but would be back and just needed it looking after for a while.So it was very thoughtful of my husband to remember that.But then the inevitable happened last night.A guy came in who we hadn’t seen for about 5 years, he was a friend of dads and had visited Dad a few times before he passed away.And yes, you guessed it.He asked how Mum was!!Surprisingly enough I handled it ok.I told him how Mum was supposed to be having a new knee and how everything happened, blah blah blah, and I think he’d wished he’d never asked now!!But he was really sorry and was quite shocked when I first told him she had gone.We ended up reminiscing about Mum and Dad and everything, it was nice in a sad sort of way, if that makes sense.
Well, Friday AGAIN, where do the weeks go.Its lovely and sunny here today, but frosty.I think its going to get colder next week, snow showers forecast here for Monday so will make the most of the weekend.
Sharon – have a lovely day on Sunday, make it a special one for your Mum.
