BOB JK My diary of kidney cancer (to be continued)
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Hi, My name is Bob and I live in Cambridgeshire. I am married with an 8 yr old daughter and three older step sons. Up untill the end of last year everything was tickety boo having recently moved to a new house which we love. Work was busy but enjoyable. I am Manager of an electrical companys maintenance department and my Wife, Linda was enjoying her job as a Nurse. The three boys are buying there own house nearby and all work locally. In November I went to my Doctors with a small "cyst" on my chest. After a couple of referals and many Xrays, pet scans, bone scans and CT scans I was told the news everybody dreads. My lump on the chest was a secondary cancer of which the primary was in my left Kidney. I was fast tracked to the Royal Brompton, under the expert care of Mr Laddas who informed a long and complicated operation would need to be carried out to remove the bone tumor and surrounding bone which involved two ribs,my collar bone and chest bone. I did not have time to panic, the operation was carried out the next day over 10 hrs. After nearly two weeks in the Brompton I am recovering well from this op but I have since been told that the Cancer is in both kidneys as well as small mets in both lungs. It seems at the moment further ops are out the question and i have been put on the drug Sutent. I am one week into this and so far so good. I do not know what the future holds but I have to remain positive.
Today I have been dragging myself around a bit as I feel so,so tired but tonight I do feel a tad better. The Sutent good looks are becoming more apparent with the blotchy red and yellow skin and under eye swelling and more pronounced hand and foot syndrome, this time, more the hands rather than the feet. The other more annoying side effects of severe wind and all that goes with it is also very much in existence and proving a hard one to control once again. At the moment i dare not stray too far away from the toilet. I think its time to put the loo rolls in the fridge again lol. Linda has left to pick up Kate from school and then to take her to her therapy session. A friend of mine popped round today and we had a bit of a chin wag. He also is being treated for Cancer so we spent time comparing notes. Not too much planned for the rest of today. Snow is just about settling on the ground which might just get me in the mood for Christmas as I am struggling a bit. I try and put on a good show for Kate and everyone else but I'm just not feeling it yet. I suppose the recent events at work have unnerved me a bit. At times I wouldn't mind giving up work but then I do wonder if it would be counter productive. In case things were to suddenly take a turn for the worst, I have decided to write letters for my family to be given out after I die. I'm certainly not planning on going to pastures new just yet but because Cancer can be unpredictable I need to be prepared. I have had some cards printed with my picture on the front and plan to write a little something inside. I don't mean to sound morbid or defeatist and I'm still battling strong and hard to stay with the people I love but am also a realist.
Hi Bob, hope once christmas gets here all your festive spirit will be there, im sure it will with all your family there, have never seen a yellow father chrismas but sure Kate and Linda wont mind what colour he is. Keep your chin up and am sure things will look better once those letters are out of the way, mum left me one and it really does help 14 years on and I still read it. They really do mean so much, Take care and dont forget the cold teabags for the eyes.XX
Hi Bob this sutent is a real bu--er at times eh? I finished my last tab cycle 7 last night and can't wait to feel 'normal' again over christmas but back on it new years eve, why does the 2wk break go so much faster than the 4wks on it?
I'm yellow with a green twinge, as the boys say I'm the real shrek grandmother. I find wet wipes a wonder as opposed to putting the loo rolls in the fridge! they take up so much room in there!
Jelly and ice cream is going down a treat at the moment but everything else is washed down with cold water! I force myself to eat as I know we have to keep our energy level up! but some foods are a definite no no.
I too wonder at times about the future and what it holds but I try to look beyond that too and see myself here for a long long time to come. I keep wondering about writing those letters but when it comes down to it I don't have the words to hand yet, it seems too final somehow. I can't even do a blog like this, it's wonderful how you open up your thoughts so easily I envy your truthfulness and emotions on your blog.
Don't dwell on work too much it's so not worth it, I know the money is helpful but there are benefits out there you can get and to fill your need for work if it comes to an end, you can always do voluntary working it's really rewarding and helps others which brings some sense of usefulness and purpose.
You're going through a minor blip it will pass, it's such an emotional time of year for all of us wondering if it's our last christmas together but every day is precious and christmas is just another day after all.
Take care don't be so hard on yourself, it's hard keeping up a front Bob but those closest to us don't always need us to be strong they do understand more than we realise.
Bob, life is s**t, isn't it? It's tough to enter the world and it sure is tough to fight one's way through all that life chucks at one! We too have white stuff out there, actually it is trying to do more.....but it does give a Christmassy feel to the warmth indoors when we look at it....I went for a walk down to the Farmer's Market today, two good miles in the snow, all wrapped up, it was good but such a cold wind.
I'm sure you are having a blip, but your honest thoughts on here just come through as so thoughtful.....my love and hugs to you, Linda and Kate, and your boys too, in hope that you have a peaceful and quietly joyous Christmas
Another bad start to the day but the evening has been better. Linda, bless her kicked ass which is just what was needed. I have spent the last few days in a world of my own and forgetting there are other members of our family that need me focused. This could be my last Christmas and the last thing I want is to leave bad memories of it. Thank you my dear for all the hard work preparing for Xmas. Tomorrow we are up at the crack of dawn to do the last of the Crimbo shopping. We called in our local supermarket and picked up a few more goodies to eat over the next few days. This morning we both took Mollie for a walk and it was really nice to walk in the deep snow and molls really loved it. Kate's school was shut for the day so she had the day round her friends house. My taste buds have started changing again so food times tend to be a bit picky but at least my tummy has settled down so no need for the wet wipes yet.
Thank you all for your messages and a "merry Christmas" to everyone.
well after thinking my pore tum was settling down last night I had the worst night I have had for a long time. I was awake at two and never slept after that and spent most of that time in the bathroom. Despite that though I do feel better generally today and we achieved a bit of shopping this morning and also delivered a few Christmas cards to some old friends of mine. This lead to another shock though as I found out that another friend of mine has advanced liver cancer and things are not looking very good for him, how many more people must suffer this terrible illness.I feel so privileged to still be here after my initial prognosis. Im getting more in the Xmas mood now and am gearing up for the big day.
