BOB JK My diary of kidney cancer (to be continued)
FormerMember
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Hi, My name is Bob and I live in Cambridgeshire. I am married with an 8 yr old daughter and three older step sons. Up untill the end of last year everything was tickety boo having recently moved to a new house which we love. Work was busy but enjoyable. I am Manager of an electrical companys maintenance department and my Wife, Linda was enjoying her job as a Nurse. The three boys are buying there own house nearby and all work locally. In November I went to my Doctors with a small "cyst" on my chest. After a couple of referals and many Xrays, pet scans, bone scans and CT scans I was told the news everybody dreads. My lump on the chest was a secondary cancer of which the primary was in my left Kidney. I was fast tracked to the Royal Brompton, under the expert care of Mr Laddas who informed a long and complicated operation would need to be carried out to remove the bone tumor and surrounding bone which involved two ribs,my collar bone and chest bone. I did not have time to panic, the operation was carried out the next day over 10 hrs. After nearly two weeks in the Brompton I am recovering well from this op but I have since been told that the Cancer is in both kidneys as well as small mets in both lungs. It seems at the moment further ops are out the question and i have been put on the drug Sutent. I am one week into this and so far so good. I do not know what the future holds but I have to remain positive.
Another good lay in today having just surfaced. Last night Linda went out and I put Kate to bed and when Linda came home I was fast asleep beside Kate on her bed. I think I woke at two this morning and went into our own bed and carried on sleeping. The district nurse has just dropped off more dressings and the plan today is to take my wife out to lunch. Wound still leaking through staple holes but that should settle soon. Pain much better and only taking pain relief as required, usually only once a day at present.
Good progress, then Bob, I check each day to see how things are for you, its great to know things are going as well as they can. (((((((((a hug)))))))) for you all
Another good nights sleep and awoken feeling refreshed and ready for the day ahead. Last night Linda took of the great big wad of stickyback plastic and wadding and replaced it with a simple pad held in place by a few straps of surgical tape. It felt much better and not so restrictive. I still need a cover over it as it is still leaking from a couple of points but its so good to have less over it.
No great plans for today and if we do go anywhere where a bit of walking is involved then my trusted wheelchair will have to come with us. Linda has just taken Kate to school and will be back shortly so we can plan our day. As yet ive taken no painkillers this morning and Linda has suggested i take regular paracetamol for a few days and see how I fair with that. It would be good to wean myself totaly off the tramadol and Im not taking oramorph anymore.
Things are going ok with my recovery physically but I am still struggling a bit mentally. Linda and myself went to see our Macmillan councillor yesterday and one of the things to come out the meeting was that because I am in such Limbo in regards to my cancer status my mind is all over the place. The way I see it I was told the worst possible news initially and to a degree had accepted and prepared for what follows. Now the outlook could be different but I dont think I almost dare to believe it. I am going through operation after operation and I am so gratefull for the chance of life again but scared also that it could change at any point. Im sure I will feel a bit better once the next scan is done. As I have said before, I am not afraid of the dying bit and am mentally prepared for that. But to then have the situation changed by some miracle is a bit of a big one to grasp. I love my family so much but tend to shut them out because of the way I am trying to cope with the unknown. We so badly need a bit of a break and my plan over the next few days is to get a long weekend away booked.
Last night I went to bed early with my temperature all over the place, I was hot, then I was cold, then hot again. I did manage to sleep though and so far this morning do not feel too bad. Time will tell!!
The mind can play awful tricks sometimes and will, almost certainly, spring round and bite you with thoughts and fears you think are long buried......................and your new status - once announced - will take some getting used to!!!! But look on each day...month...year.....as bonus time for 'good behaviour' and I'm sure you'll be able to get your life back again!!!! What a fantastic thought.....to beat the odds and be able to look forward and plan things together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love and ((((hugs)))) for you and your family..........
Bob, the fact that you had almost come to terms with the bad terminal scenario, and now have had glimmers of a decent future, will of course send your head all over the place! Counselling in your case is I feel definitely the way to go, and I hope you've a really good counsellor who can help you get your head round what's going on! You have yet again, the waiting game, which in itself is hard to cope with, give yourself time to come to terms with it all, you have only just come through major surgery again so your mind will be still coping with that trauma, and yes, it is trauma!
Now that the lecture is over, Bob, my love and hugs to all of you, yourself and your lovely family too....
After quite a busy time yesterday, going into town and then picking up Kate from school and then popping to my mums house, we eventually got back home by tea time.As my appertite hasnt been brilliant lately and lm loosing a bit of weight Linda left me to choose the tea option so we went for a Chineese takeaway which certainly filled me up. A leasurely evening followed watching the box untill bed time. I went to bed and after getting comfortable managed a good nights sleep. I needed painkillers as the wound felt a bit tender but this did not stop me from sleeping.
This morning Linda removed my dressing and noticed my wound looked a bit odd in one place, as this area always seems to leak a bit she examined more closely and couls see there was trapped fluid under a membrane. After breaking the membrane a brown watery fluid escaped with the pressure of a tap and leaked all over the place. That immediately felt better and now I have a big hole which needs packing until healed. I have spent the morning in bed and by the end of this will have gained enough mental qualifications to buy, sell or do up any house on the market. I have just had a small amount of lunch and also watered the garden so not too bad so far today.
Hahaha! Sounds like you watched morning TV in bed, Bob! ROFL, join the fairly recently retired! Daytime TV is better than it used to be when I had time flat in bed with a grotty disc!
