Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hey chickie kate!! Loves ya so much my doodle doo!!! lol You still as mad as ever i see? That brain transplant never worked then? lol Gonna miss ya so much you not allowed to go without me cos i'll have to bop ya otherwise! lol Love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie shez Glad me hens still cok a hoop!! lol Let me know when she lays so i can be prepared for a sore.... well....... you know what! lol Daz not too bad today thanks just all the chemo coming out his system so feels bit shitty but apart from that he's fine Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey chickie Teresa If Chelsea play like that again gonna have to bo em into shape! lol Wigan played well give them their due all over us! Hope that's not a sign of whats to come this season! lol Still think you MUS!!!! though you don't get away with it that easiely!! Daz not too bad today sweet just feels bit shitty where chemo coming out his system! Bless him hes in bed not sure how long for Hope he helped when he chatted to you the other night and he told me to tell you he's still here for you both if either of you ever need him. He's so sweet ain't he just wanna squeesh him!! lol Love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie kate Bin told i gotta put me foot down so here goes.............................. THUD.......................THUD...............PECK.........PECK!!!!! lol You gotta take us all or i'll put me foot down and peck ya eyes out then you won't be able to see any fit blokes there so no point going then!!! lol Loves ya still though! Love and hugs... THUD...THUD.....PECK.....PECK your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear MHM...both of you gave me such a lift the other night and it was lovely speaking to your Daz, he's so sweet and give him a squeesh from both me and likkle one and our love to you all xxxx...as for Lampard, never heard of the word share?? we have booked tickets for Soccer Aid on 7th Sept, gawd help us as we taking Mum, Jamie Redknapp is playing being that he Lampard's cousin even he might be there!! love your MUS chickie xxxx
hey chickie teresa Right that'sit if you get to see Lampard before me i'm gonna go off you big time! lol I never share thats why i'm the bossy MHM didn't you know that? Opps that may have slipped me mind! lol If you see him get an autograph for daz for me will ya? Grovel...........grovel......................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol Loves ya still though even though you try to nick me men!!! lol Loves and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ha ha ha no matey the brain transplant failed miserably, Ok buddys heres the deal and I cant believe Im telling this on public forum, cos he may be reading, but you lot know I may be mad but Im also honest,
Listen very carefully and I will begin......................
My man and I set up home in Portugal before DB became ill, infact I still have a wardrobe of clothes there, I dropped everything no man or home become before my DB, I left the lot to care for her, she was soo worth it, how lucky am I that the man in question never forgot me ??? ( mind you always knew I was something special ha ha ) DB was my all, you my friends know that in the way I talked about her when she was alive, So this maybe a re-kindling holiday, hope so, but maybe my careing months have made me change? hope not I would like to get MY life back now and know full well that is what DB would want for me
Mates If I get back my life there my door is always open to any of you............love you all dearly,.......... and I would never ever of got through the last few months without any of you, but I aint leavin mac site, you are all such wonderful friends and my home is your home ok?
Wow Ive been a little deep......but mates truthful Kate xxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie kate I was only jesting matey you know me! lol You deserve a life and good luck with everything just gonna miss ya! But now i know where to get a free holiday from in the future though!! lol Good things come from bad babe so i know things will work out for you sweet You're still always be me chickie though Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Good on ya Kate, wish you all the love n luck in the world, oo how exciting, its like mills and boon,k you no we,re gonna want to hear every detail, well nearly ...................xx
Kate...go for it babe!! if it's what you want then I hope it works out for you, you deserve it so much...have you got room for all of us mid October?? xxxx
