Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
i have heard from our mother hen mel bless her and fully understand why she needs some time out, lets hope she gets better very soon.
well good on you for saying how you feel about the ward our michaela is on, it sounds total shit and hope she gets moved to a better one , or even better hope she gets to go home very soon bless her, i cant believe they hadnt even checked on her. i will tell you what happened when my dad was in hospital, the ward he was on was terrible, and so uncaring, to cut a long story short my poor dad needed some help so we called the nurse, then called again and again, i went to the desk really p'd off in the end, the nurse was on his mobile phone talking to his mate laughing and chatting, well mate i went mad, swearing and shouting at him, in the end i asked to see the matron, she came down and told her exactly what i thought of her ward, staff and hospital, so the moral of my essay lol, keep complaining, where has all the kindness and caring gone from some wards/hospitals? yet the ward my mum was on was totally different, really lovely and caring nurses. sorry our girl is all out of sorts today, hope she bucks up by the morning and hope she gets her transfusion. what a pain you have another weekend of worry and stress to get through before the results, we will be here for you to get you through it babe, try not to worry too much, i know thats easier said than done, stupid thing to say really, just ignore me lol i'm no percy thrower hun lol, cant tell the difference between weeds and flowers, so just pull them all out lol, you def wouldnt want me to help in your garden lol. jake the peg lol, dont tell mick you will def get a slap. i was laughing at your thoughts on the bus, my bro used to be a bus driver so i will ask him for you lol, me thinks you def lost the plot now lol, anyway hunni, you try and get a good nights sleep, and hope michaela better in morning bless her heart. speak soon, take care, love ya love and hugs chickie karen xxxxx
Glad you have heard from our mother hen mel, bless her, hope she gets her rest, gets better soon and comes back to keep us all in check!! Did she give you temporary promotion? In her absence Im sure she wouldn't mind at all I just wish her well and hope she does come back as like all of you she has been a godsend!!
Well Michaela rang me at 12.45am hence me being wide awake again, she rang to say sorry for being snappy earlier and to say that they'd been in at 11 to check her bp and temp which was down to 37.8 so not far above normal, told her how I'd kicked arse in a polite way and going up in the morning to find out what going on and to try and get her moved but she said she wouldnt go to the childrens ward (if it was offered) as being with little'uns that were ill would upset her (so caring is my baby) I cried!! As for what you said about the difference in wards where your mum and dad were, 1st one dad was on was the same as with your mum but the 2nd was vice versa like with your mum and dad. Mum is coming up there with me later as it seem they dont listen to me, Im quite young looking for my age so they seem to presume and have said that they think Im the elder sister and mum is Michaela's mum or auntie, so bloody annoying, phaps that why they talk to me like they do, as much as I love my mum dearly though she does have a terrible habit that if I start talking and saying what I think or ask q's she will overspeak me, she used to do it with dad when they would call in from hospital with their news but think that a motherly thing, sorry honey going on again!!!
Please ask your brother about the bus drivers q's, thought of loads today while waiting for the bus!! Sad I know, phaps we should start a thread about stupid thoughts plus the fact of Jake the Peg being in my head all day, I did mention it to Mick but not got a slap yet ha ha! Might do later as Im listening to westlife as feeling tad emotional tonight been thinking of my dad a lot (sorry babe I don't like saying that to you because of yours but I cant help it the past 2 days) and still only 8 weeks seems a lifetime - f****n westlife this is what they do to me!! sorry hun
Love ya loads, sending lots of love and hugs Teresa XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Think you chicks need a Rooster 'round here to restore a bit of order, I said restore a bit of order ......the name's .......Foghorne Leghorne, ..........I said Foghorne Leghorne ........... at your service...................
Mind if'n I join you ?
I don't take much very seriously any more, so a resounding p*** Off would suffice !
please dont say sorry about feeling emotional and missing your dad, and esp at minute you must be feeling so up and down and all out of sorts. as for the missing i know exactly how you feel as i miss mum and dad terribly, westlife gets me every time too, i cant listen to you raise me up as it came out round the time of dads passing and we had it played at mums funeral, if it comes on the radio i have to switch it off as i'm always in floods of tears with it, songs really get to you dont they? am pleased michaela phoned you, no wonder she is snappy she must be so p'd off with everything bless her, and glad the nurses went and checked on her, hope she has a good sleep tonight and feels much brighter in the morning. regarding your mum, it is a motherly thing isnt it? and she must be so worried about you and michaela at the mo.
i will def ask my bro about the buses lol he will think were bloody mad lol well he knows i am already ha ha
anyway my hunni, you try and get some sleep, oh god kylie and jasons especially for you has just come on tv, i def wont tell mick that, how many slaps would i get lol
sending love and hugs and massive hosed firemen .... lovely, sorry mama hen mel lol love chickie karen xxx
Turn the tv off.. jason and kylie?? Ive just suggested a 60's night and an 80's night to mick so it coincides all era's, I even mentioned Cliff Richard on behalf of mum!!
What do you think about having a Rooster? I dont mind do you? phaps we can keep him in check lol!! and repay for all the slaps lol!! but Mick I don't think you'll appreciate the firemen hoses (long story)!!
Going to bed soon when finished the WESTLIFE cd, love ya loads karen, love and hugs Teresa xxx
how were things with our michaela yesterday? was she feeling any better bless her? hope you managed to sleep, did you stay at your mums last night? i hope the ward has been a bit better, if not keep complaining mate. hope to speak later today to see how our surrogate niece is, am thinking about you as always sending you both tons of love and hugs love your fellow chickie karen xxxxxxx
