Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hey Chicks and all You two loonys make me laugh so much, Love the footie digs, my ex is a Man u fan and he takes the p*** all the time, we still mates, Il get my own back when we win the champions league ha ha xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx love you both loads Well look at the bloody time !!!!!!! Why am I wide awake at this ungodly hour ? sooo unlike me!!, well my Dad thinks its fine to feed the dogs anything, including chicken rogan josh, cos its meat ha ha one has a cast iron tummy and is snoring like a pig, but the other - well eye of a needle mateys ,hes whinged and woke me up to go out, so here I am trying to focus on your conversations of the last couple of days. I is cross-eyed again Karen lol xxxxxxxx Honestly chicks you are both sooo funny, driving without a car? sarnies? bein slapped by Mick? you make me laugh lots and I love ya Not long now hey Teresa and we will know whats goin on with chikky neice Michaela, and I mean we, cos we are right here wth you babe, got everything crossed and I mean everything, ouch xxxxxxxxxxxx Karen chickky hen good to see you laughing babe, even though your still feelin rough, always here for ya and our gorgeous boys xxxxxxxxx Motherhen Mellymoo thinking of you glad your going to the docs, "You know it makes sense" ha ha, Now girls what comedys that from? Is it a Del-Boy line? think so, love you Mel, keep chicks updatedxxxxxxxxxx
Moomy, Juls, quartz etc etc etc (well it is very late ha ha) hope you are all doing fine big((((((((((hugs))))))))) and Katey kisses allround xxxxxxxxxxx Well update here, Duracell bunny went to appt all glammed up, made me look like I was a big fat fibber ha ha, she charmed them all, Doc gave her a big sloppy kiss cos she was so funny and cute, weight loss not too bad, looked fab, so round three chemo taken on the chin by her xxxxxxxxx Chemo Pump to be removed Saturday, then.... well fingers crossed .......... Let me tell you what shes like, she nearly gave poor Dad a heart attack the other night, feeding machine alarm was going Ioff and I was in the bath, they couldnt get it going so Dad shouted me, anyway it was the the lead out at the back, but mums false boobie had slipped and fell, under her clothes makeing a bump on her tummy and she told Dad it was the feed, even had him prodding it, he fell for it hook line and sinker was ready to dial 999 till she fell about laughin, poor Dad she doesnt half wind him up Well thats all folks !! going to try some shut eye, think the dogs settled Loads of love, firemen blah blah, cross eyed Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
you must have peed the bed being up that early lol so glad our glammed up duracell bunny doing well, everything crossed for saturday hunni, even eyes lol, seriously hope no horrible side effects. i laughed so much about your mum scaring your dad, how lovely she still got her sense of humour bless her. also laughed at your dad feeding the poor dog rogan josh lol hope you managed to get back to sleep this morning, well middle of the night to me lol, i'm def no early bird. hope youv'e had a good day babe, iv'e been gardening all day i'm bloody knackered, but weather been gorgeous hasnt it? i was so hot come in and put shorts and t shirt on, glad poor neighbours didnt see me, they would have run straight back in and stayed there lol
anyway sweetie, going for a well needed bath now after the gardening, will come back on later if your about will have a chat, take care and sending lots of love and hugs, and them big hosed firemen lol love to your mum and dad too, and hope your brother is ok. love chickie karen who desperately needs a bath lol xxxxxxxxxxxx
hope your visit with our michaela gone well, i have been thinking about you all day. hope you get some good news very soon, and hope she feeling ok today bless her.
will come back later to see if your about sweetie, going for a bath now as been gardening and am dirty and smelly lol
anyway hun, speak soon, love and hugs chickie karen xxxxxxx
hope your feeling ok hunni, and hope the kids and darryl are all ok.
i'm going for a well needed bath now, willcome back later to see if your about, hope youv'e been relaxing and resting up and that you feel bit better now, at least you went to the docs, your'e a good girl lol
anyway hunni, take care and speak soon lots of love and tons of hugs, oh and big hosed firemen lol love dirty, smelly chickie karen xxxxxxxxx
Our dearest Mel is taking time out and not posting anymore as she feels too poorly at present and hasn't got the strength to carry on with all the love, support and advice she has given to all of us in the past (when she has woes of her own, Bless her!) Has probably been us on top of everything that has worn her out!!.
She say's its the hardest decision she has ever had to make but she just needs time to take stock of everything with herself and Daryll, she isn't sure when or if she'll be back but in the meantime sends lots of love and motherly hen hugs to all her chickies.
this is very sad, and hope you can return when you feel better, you are always in my thoughts and your support has always been amazing, hope we havent worn you out and made you feel any worse with our problems hun. please come back when you feel ready as this is your thread. love you and i wish you and darryl all the luck in the world for everything good, hope you get better very soon.
lots of love, hugs, and strength love your chickie karen xxxxx
How are you honey? Very sad news about Mel but really think she need a really good rest and to start looking after herself and hopefully she'll return, I said to her earlier that now she going it means that we will just get up to more mischief without her keeping us in touch ha ha!! Have to make light sometimes out of sadness else think we'd all go mad or madder than we already are and Im really mad today!!
How is that sinus infection of yours? Hope you feeling better today, so are you a bit of a 'percy thrower?' Might have to invite you down for a weekend to help me out with my garden, its been a bit neglected over the past year!!
Well Michaela not been herself today at all, temp was up again all night last night and Dr came round this morning and said she'd been on to Dr. Florna (the specialist) and because of the scrutinising tests they have to do in screening the bone marrow at UCHL we are now looking at the results back early next week so another weekend spent in turmoil AAARRGHH!! I just want to know whats wrong so we know what we are dealing with instead we are in limbo for another weekend, she also said that because her count is down again 7.6 they are going to do the blood transfusion, the day staff also forgot her for dinner yet again!! (sorted that one out though in the sense of having a polite word with those that deal in that!!) This evening when I got back up there she was feeling off colour and looked really pale, wasnt her usual self at all as kept getting the shakes which is then when her temp goes up, the Dr came in to take her bloods again to check her levels, when we left I asked him about the transfusion, going to do tomorrow but if her levels hadnt risen from what he had just taken then it would be done tonight. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone so I spoke to the nursing staff and said that when she was on the other ward she was monitored every 3-4 hours, blood pressure, ecg and temp taken...since being up on the old peoples ward her temp has been taken twice and nothing else!! at 7.45pm they said they would send someone in to look at her.
Anyway called her at half 9, snappy and feverish again and no-one been in so I phoned the ward. Asked about the transfusion - no order for it yet!! told them that I know when my daughter doesnt feel well by the way she talks and she doesnt feel well and you still havent been in to see her think it because she in the very last room by the fire exit that they forget she is in there. Told the nurse that given what she may have and the fact that she is a very poorly girl at the moment and given the care and attention she was given on the ward below she should be having a closer eye checked on her!! I said that when she was on the other ward I used to go home at night knowing she was going to be looked after so I slept peacefully and now she up there I cant because they not checking on her (a patient passed away on the ward this morning as she hadnt had her Ob's checked throughout the night) anyway asked if I could make appt to complain and who to about the treatment and in getting her moved and been told I can go up anytime and see the staff nurse and her Dr as I want her off that ward, no disrespect but how would a 77year old feel being put on the childrens ward??!!
Sorry honey Ive really just gone on!! didnt mean to just I got off the phone earlier and was so upset and angry, feel better now!! Sorry
You know with the music thread, I kept chuckling inside today as for some stupid reason all Ive had in my head all day is Jake The Peg, Rolf Harris!! where the hell did that come from and its so annoying lol, Ive had some really stupid thoughts today, was on the bus earlier and I thought I wonder if a bus driver has driven past a stop becasue he didnt like the look of someone and another one was I wonder if you've ever been the only passenger on a bus for the whole journey!! Sad I know I need a change of scene
Sorry Ive gone on babe, loads of love and hugs TeresaXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hope you are ok honey, though very sad about our dearest mother hen mel it seems like we have to fend for ourselves for a while but given the circumstances we dont mind do we as our dearest Mel's health is more important?! Am so pleased to hear duracell bunny's appointment and chemo went and going well, you made me laugh with the false boobie scenario (your poor dad bless him) sounds like your mum has a great sense of humour, infact she sounds very mischevious to me, getting all glammed up for her appointment and being given sloppy kisses by the Dr, she sounds such a sweetie!! As for your Dad feeding the dog ckicken rogan josh ha ha! Mine used to poop through eye of needle if I gave them gravy let alone a ruby murray!!
Well as you can see from last post no news on Michaela yet so another weekend in turmoil but going up later this morning as unhappy with the care and attention she being given and the ward she is on, have kept my cool now for almost 3 weeks but lost it a bit tonight but Michaela not long rang me and it seems that it worked a bit as they been in to check her temp and bp and it back down again. She'll probably make me feel like your mum did you..a big fat fitter and then she'll start picking up again!!
Anyway babe, love ya loads and lots of love to duracell bunny and your dad too Teresa XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
