Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hi hope you dont mind me butting into your natter but im having such a crap nite thought id come on here for a bit, dont usually use chat threads, but do follow them sometimes thanks love mo
I am sorry tonight isn't a good one for you. Do join us we really are an OK bunch but can get just a little silly from time to time. I think though tonight we are all on best behaviour so you should be safe.
mhm just p/m'd to let us know how today has gone, daz is back to being sick and woke up with a puffy face, mel phoned nurse who said puffiness is due to tumor wrapped round pulmonary artery and gave him some meds, if it doesnt settle in few days he will have to go into hospital, poor melly is so scared bless her heart!! its all so very sad isnt it? and its always the lovliest of people all this crap happens to isnt it?
